Husband and toilet

[Onandonandons]

I'm so angry.

(I'm not the poo troll, feel free to search my user name.)

My husband is usually fantastic. Pulls his weight with household tasks and parenting, supportive and caring to me.

We've got guests coming today and last night together we cleaned up together. He stopped to put dd to bed and I carried on. He fell asleep and I finished up. I don't mind, he's had a particularly hard week at work and he would have done the same for me.

This morning, he left poo all over the loo. I'm really angry as I'd cleaned the bathroom whilst he slept last night. When I pointed it out to him, he did not apologise. First he denied it was him (it definitely was). Then he said it's not a big deal, I can just point it out to him and he'll clean it up. I said I think it's disrespectful to me to leave the toilet in that state. He said I'm overreacting. He then said that it's hard to remember to check after flushing. He then denied that this was an excuse but an "explanation".

The problem is that we've had this argument many times. Most recently 2 weeks ago under the exact same circumstances when I'd cleaned up for visitors.

I'm REALLY angry. Am I overreacting? If he'd apologised and admitted the mistake, I wouldn't be so angry. I'm furious.

It’s annoying and I say it to my teens all the time, but I wouldn’t go nuclear over it.

Please can someone explain about the poo troll?

Poo troll is someone who starts a fake thread about poo.

Omg I so feel your pain. Thinking of you 💕

OP you’ll be getting told he’s abusive and to LTB next

OK, the OP has confirmed that this wasn’t a passive aggressive act but it is very common for controlling men to use farting and shit as a hostile act. It is a documented phenomenon.

I know men who will deliberately fart when the woman’s friends or family come round, leave a terrible smell in the toilet and do nothing about it, choose the moment her friends and family arrive to need to spend ages in the toilet..,and tell everyone.

Plenty of Animals use shit to mark their territory. Some men are no different.

Christ some of you are absolutely bonkers - the OPs husband is now apparently marking his territory with shit. Watch out OP, he'll be curling one out directly on your face next.

It's annoying that he didn't clean it afterward but the fact that you cleaned the toilet last night is immaterial as it's not exactly an annual, one-off task to be done. Toilets are literally made for shitting in and it's easy for anyone to overlook lifting the lid up again and checking particularly if you're flapping about over visitors coming over. You've asked him to clean it up and he has already said he will. Have a normal, adult conversation about being considerate to others (not just to you) by double-checking the bowl after use and remind him where the toilet brush lives.

Get some fake blood and smear it around the toilet just before he's about to go in. Petty but it might shock him enough to remember to start checking.

@SW16 you are fucking insane.

@PolPotNoodle agreed!!!

Actually I did say that the OP confirmed that her DH is not PA or controlling, and I did not advise the OP to LTB.

But if you think that men never ever use farting and leaving skid marked pants and a shitty toilet for a woman to deal with then you are very naive about methods of emotional abuse and coercive control.

Mostly it will be someone being careless. But Alongside other factors, it is what some men do.

I have heard abused women say this, and it was included in a professional training course we did at work about supporting abused women.

I make no apology for pointing that out.