To think people generally assume an early reader has been hothoused?

[Dinosforall]

I've recently spent some time on threads about DC learning to read early as DS has really taken off with it before starting school. I often see 'obviously kids who read before school have been hothoused.' Is this just something people say, or will that be the general assumption? (He hasn't been, he's just picked it up, alongside some early phonics activities at nursery.)

Obviously I know bragging about DS' reading ability wouldn't win me any friends in RL, but I'm not going to pretend he can't if it comes up.

My seven year old is currently reading The Deathly Hallows. He loved the films and wanted to read the books. There will of course be parts to them that ho a little over his head but he might reread them in a few years. I have read my favourite books several times at different stages of life and found lots of new meanings and ideas from them.
I am thrilled he has found a love of reading.
He certainly couldn't read before starting School but has now surpassed children who could. They may now be ahead in maths or better at football but who really cares?
It doesn't mean a thing in my opinion. Children learn at there own paces in fits and spurts. It is not a smooth line on a graph with a start and finish line.

In reality, there are kids who are good at decoding, and there are kids good at reading. Early reading doesn't always mean they are a good reader.
It's impressive if the child can read early. But important thing is, if they really understand what they are reading or not, and if they can read between the lines.
I have a very early reader, who were reading any word before starting school. He was never a great reader, he was just able to read any words.

It’s quite unusual for a child to figure out how to read by themselves (as opposed to memorising words). That’s probably where the assumption comes from.

It's never true that child figure out how to read by themselves imo. There are always some sort of influence by parents in most case, I assume.
In my case, my dc always watched the tv with subs, since English isn't my native, so I always had them on, and dc wanted them too. He always followed the words I was reading to him with his fingers. One day, he started to pull the book out of book shelf and reading the words he recognize. It was "said". He was unstoppable from then. But I found out hard truth, he was reading the words but not reading the book.

@ThatsWotSheSaid

If a child is a really good reader before school it might make me more aware of possible social communication differences.

What did you mean by this? Just interested as I was an early reader and not diagnosed as autistic until I was 40.

No-one noticed anything amiss at school apart from being "too quiet" and my anxiety was through the roof but I'm not sure anyone noticed that.

Teacher got me doing flash cards with the other kids in the class. I guess that's how we learnt to read in the 181980s.

Bitheby, My early reader has asd traits. I assume they have different strength, like pattern recognising, which makes a child read early. Not always the case, but it's something to consider. Some children are 2e, very intelligent and have some sen.

Bitheby Ive been googling hyperlexia recently (I read v early and my mum certainly didnt hothouse, just read to me.)

Im 40 but as daughter is autistic and Ive spent life anxious am wondering about the link. I was genius level IQ and often wonder where high IQ and high functioning autism differ.

It is interesting that some people point to ASD traits and hyperlexia - on my side I am fairly aware of traits as we have family members on the spectrum. Apparently there is a version of hyperlexia found in NT children.
As fair as I can tell, neither DS nor his friend have social communication difficulties. However DS' decoding is certainly ahead of his comprehension simply because he operates as a 4-5 year-old and not an eight-year-old. I am NT myself but have just always had an affinity for words. I do remember my decoding ability being ahead of my comprehension.

I learnt to read at a young age and have always enjoyed reading and still do. I did well at school and uni. I read to both my toddlers and my dd has started putting some letters together to make small words. We have not yet worked on phonics but will before she starts primary school. I had to look up the word hothouse and find it interesting how many people in this thread have said their kids are good readers but they didn't hothouse them. I want to make learning fun for my kids as it was for me. I am in a better position to be able to help my kids so don't see why I wouldn't? She certainly isn't going to be chained to a desk!

So many parents are competitive and it must be draining, I would give them a wide berth.

Sceptre, I think most parents with early reader children won't feel like they hothoused their children. I think it's genuine feeling. Most parents just follow the interest of children like you did, and they happens to become a good reader. But if their own children aren't like ours, people never get what it's like. So people assume we hothouse children. And we simply say we didn't. I don't think people are being competitive. They are just stating the facts.

When will we hear "My first child could read in the womb"?

Oh, I'm sure my MIL believes DP could read in the womb. I understand she practically potty trained her while she was a follicle, and weaned her during the early stages of implantation.

Meh to whether being an early reader matters in the grand scheme of things. I've got 1 dc that wasn't, loved being read to but couldn't blend, phonics didn't click, now excelling in Y6. However I was an early reader myself (also remember not being believed at the speed/level I read at initially). It's not a race and parents would do well to zoom out a bit and look at the big picture, kids develop at their own pace - yes that pace can be forced but it's no good in the long run. See burn out, anxiety, feeling not good enough.

@SarahAndQuack, we may have the same MIL.

SarahandQuack

Doesnt make sense to me...why would someone see you teaching your child to read as a bad thing? I'd suggest they must be jealous.
Read or dont read by school. If they're not my child I'm likely not thinking about them or judging.

Also, if having a conversation with other parents and the subject of reading age and stage ahem 'comes up' - run. Run as fast as you can. This will only be the start of a very long and dull 'my kids more amazing than yours' competition that will last until the end of primary school and the only award being ultimately the realisation that oh shit - 'noone else cares'. Here be dragons 😂

How many children see their parents sitting down reading a book? It's one if the biggest influences on a child's attitude to reading.

Unfortunately I don't think my DC have seen me finish a coffee in one go, let alone sitting down to read a book intended for adults!

Kids who read for the love of reading and not just to stay ahead read more.

I agree. I guess I am seeing from my perspective. We used to read a lot with our child and tbh it can get tiring after reading them 5 books in a row so for us the motivation to teach the phonics was so that they can read themselves. They are only 5 but it fills my heart with happiness when I see them reading a book with many more spread around them. They love books but they also love being ahead of others not only in reading but in maths too.

We never boast about out child infront of others as we don't want to inflate their ego...they already are way too confident about it. We only praise the effort they put in their work and also try to teach them that there might be times when others would be better than them at something and that is ok. Every child is different.

For your sake I hope not, @Sprigware!

I've never heard anyone say this or ever discuss it actually OP but no idea if that is a reflection of the norm or no, who can say. Reading and comprehension are different skills though, whizzing through books is most likely picking up the ability to skim read.

I was a hyperlexic child and 'picked it up early' prior to school. I think though it's easy to remember that being read to and ample suitable books in the house is not how all children grow up so I don't agree it is 'just' picking it up, and it is very much cultured learning.

I picked it up early, started (suitable)adult books and classics very young, which were my favourites; did my English GCSE many years earlier than my peers, parents enrolled me in child MENSA etc and it all really burnt out regardless reading wise. I have a decent brain but am a lazy reader as an adult and rarely bother. I remember not being able to get enough of it as a child but as an adult I find it a chore and have to motivate myself into it.

Dd2 taught herself at 2. We didn’t actually know she could read until she read MIL ‘the lion the witch and the wardrobe’ when she babysat. MIL told us and we laughed at her.
Then we got dd to do it the next day and she did, which was weirder, but we assumed she had memorized it or something. So we picked up a book she had never seen before and asked her to read that. And she did.
We don’t know how. And she definitely wasn’t taught (dh copped it when he taught dd1 the alphabet at 18 months when I was away on a girls weekend).
Other parents always assume hot housing. (Which couldn’t be further from the truth). Both girls just get letters. And ds just gets numbers. He’d taught himself number bonds and addition and multiplication by 3. Earlier than that I’d tuck him in and he’d say, in tones of awe, ‘mummy, do you know that three lots of seven is twenty one?’ (Or weirder shit about God and dinosaurs not making sense).
Dd2 was assessed as reading/ comprehension level of 12-15yo in yr1. They didn’t want to put her on the reading scheme but as she was entirely self taught I sort of made them (I had a horror if there being a really massive gap somewhere). So they started her on 10 but she was free-reading from the other school bookcases having finished it pretty soon.
I had one parent stalker who had been trying to find the rumoured reading child for months. I think dd was her last guess, being as she couldn’t walk and all. (Oh that’s why I don’t have the time to hothouse - three kids, one disabled, too much OT, PT and SLT to get through).
Kids are weird though. They amaze me all the time.

Oh not yr1, sorry. Typo. YrR. She was assessed in yrR just after she turned 5.

When DC was 7, there were quite a few of them in the class (4-5?) that read all the Harry Potter books themselvea. Why they read them all? Because they got hooked on the story. Did they understand everything? Maybe not, but does it matter? They understood enough to enjoy them. DC goes to London state schools, none of the kids are "hot housed". Think DC read them in about 4 months or slightly less. DC carried the books around wherever we went.

One thing though is that many early readers seem to become "book worms". I think DC (now Yr6) averages about one book a week. It is all the Douglas Adams books at the moment.

I was the same as a child. It has nothing to do with hot housing but with interest.