To think people generally assume an early reader has been hothoused?

[Dinosforall]

I've recently spent some time on threads about DC learning to read early as DS has really taken off with it before starting school. I often see 'obviously kids who read before school have been hothoused.' Is this just something people say, or will that be the general assumption? (He hasn't been, he's just picked it up, alongside some early phonics activities at nursery.)

Obviously I know bragging about DS' reading ability wouldn't win me any friends in RL, but I'm not going to pretend he can't if it comes up.

It’s not too bad when they go back and read it again to get the bits they probably missed when they were younger. I clearly remember reading Animal Farm when I was about 8 and just finding it a interesting story, and then obviously re read when I was older and properly understood it.

I experienced this. Most people weren't bothered but one or two parents would not let it drop. What is he reading, what level is he on. I am not competitive at all so just infuriated them by saying I didn't know or changing the subject.

My DS taught himself to read very early. I didn't realise at first, it was his nursery who told me.

I have always read to my children a lot, I think one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is a love of books and literature. I should add that it was only him, my other 2 children learned to read when they went to school but all 3 read regularly and love books.

I have an early reader. He's 7 now and can read well ahead of his age. We never 'hothoused' him. We did read to him from an early age, but that was it. He is being assessed for possible SEN in other areas. So it's peaks and troughs.

My youngest is no where near where his brother was at the same age. Even with similar exposure to books etc. But he has been miles ahead of eldest in other areas. Every child is different and you really can't compare them.

I don't think anyone gives a monkeys.

I also think potentially being judged for hothousing your child, when in fact they just naturally learned to read easily without you lifting a finger, sounds like a nice problem to have. Beats struggling to help a child who can't or won't read.

Wouldn't give it another thought if I were you, tbh.

The only person other than DH and me and DS’s teachers who has ever taken the remotest interest in his reading level was a loopy parent of one of his classmates, who was notorious for inviting kids for after school play dates and checking their reading book band and homework feedback.

I still had parents commenting to me about dd’s reading ability in YR when she left in Y6! So some parents really do notice and care.

I only allowed educational games on the iPad, including some phonics ones, and between those and nursery she picked up the basics very fast. Add in proper phonics teaching at school and an excellent memory, and there you go. I think people assumed I was drilling her in phonics, even though I wasn’t. She just remembers stuff, and blending clicked for her very early in YR.

Some kids just get it early and some dont.
DD was reading well before school but both her brothers were not.
Ironically, the slowest to read was the one who did best at GCSE and A level but he really didnt take off until year 7.

Yanbu. Dd1 is very bright and read very early and it was regularly attributed to me being a sahm. I think people thought I chained her to a desk all day. She still works at a level well beyond her age (12). She’s also autistic and struggles massively because of it.

Does,it matter ?I was an avid reader I remember reading the Sunday Times at around 8 ,I read anything and everything yet I wase,nn't especially!!y academic and struggled. with exams .

My youngest picked up reading and started at 3 - yes really - because we were reading with her elder brother and doing phonics with him (he was in reception) so she just joined in. He wasn’t interested in reading until he got to school.
So I suppose dd was hot housed but not deliberately and it was just something she had a natural aptitude for. Apparently I was similar as a kid.

We all just want the best the best for our kids so let’s not get sucked into comparisons. It’s the thief of joy.

I could read well before school, I actually remember my first day in reception class and an older girl asking me what my name was (I had a big name tag on) and I replied with "can't you read?"

Primary school made me out to be a genius. My reading age was far advanced compared to my actual age.

Fast forward to my GCSEs and I only got Cs in English.

So it really doesn't mean anything.

Just that all children develop at different stages and ages.

Absolutely no one cares, unless the parent bangs on about it at which point it's eyeroll worthy.

Literally doesn't matter.

Adult literacy rate in the UK is 99%. They'll all read at the same level one day.

Also had to google what hothouse meant!

I'm sure you and your child will have bigger challenges than this as life moves on. Don't let things get to you OP

Not that it matters, but I am giggling at the comparison of Harry Potter, the Decameron, and Proust (aka A La Recherche du Temps Perdu, right?).

The Decameron is enormously simpler than Harry Potter. God bless it.

Anyway. Yes, I know what you mean, OP. But it doesn't matter. The problem is with the UK system. Children should not be made to feel that learning to read before the age of 6 or 7 (let alone 5 or 4) is the marker of success versus failure. That's what makes everyone so anxious, IMO.

It doesn't matter in the end. They all catch up and early readers don't generally maintain an advantage. Education and development is a very long process - childrens' wiring all connects differently. My ex was a very late developer and ended with a Phd and a Professor. No one cares who read first its not an indicator of anything.

I could read before I went to school purely because I am stubborn. I wanted a story and I wanted it now, not when mum had time! So I'd watch the words as mum read and then read ahead to see if I got them right.

Strangely I only found out in recent times that my sister couldn't read before starting school.

People generally presume I'm lying about reading. It's caused nothing but issues in my life through school and even as an adult
I read early, I don't know why, neither do my parents. So when I took a book back to the teacher and was told I hadn't read it properly, or read out loud a verse in a birthday card, everyone thought I was lying
It takes me around 45 mins to read a standard easy going chick lit type book because I read around 1500wpm. No, I don't miss stuff or need to slow down to enjoy it, it's the way my eyes move and how I view the pages. Yes, I am reading it, no I'm not just turning the pages fast

It's something that people get REALLY funny about to the point that they stopped speaking to my mum as she had "obviously coached" me
Mum "I CBA with that, you picked up a book and read it, fuck knows how"

I have an 8 year old who learned to read at 3. And a 3.5 year old who can read. The 8 year old is v bright and slightly ahead of his peers (and reading the final HP tonight- he stopped last time because it was too scary). However there are a few other kids in his class who read as well as he does now but who were not early readers. Interestingly DS1 is a musician (goes to one of the London JDs) and he was telling me the other day that he can read music as fast as if not faster than words. I have zero musical skills or knowledge and I found that quite astonishing. School had no issues with DS1 and I assume they will also have no issues with DS2 learning to read before reception. In DS2’s case he has significant health issues, has frequent hospital admissions and suffered a brain haemorrhage after birth so while I am proud of his reading I am also just generally proud of whatever he achieves.

Does anyone really care?

I could read before I started school. I don't think I was hothoused. But I did turn out to be autistic but not diagnosed until I was an adult. All kids are different and I think one that's taught themselves to read will have their talents recognised as such if that's what you're worried about.

I was a very early reader, definitely wasn't hothoused but self taught apparently (don't ask me how!). My DD was like me, people thought we hothoused but the reality was she begged endlessly to be shown the words.

People are funny about "advanced" readers and talkers. They can be quite jealous.

It's not something to get too smug about though. As a wise friend once told me, by the time they're fourteen our kids can pretty much all read and string a sentence together.

My mum was dyslexic, and number blind, accompanied by long periods of hospitalisation as a very sick child, so unable to read basic books or count greater than 20 when she had me. I could read chapter books and do long division/ multiplication along with basic algebra before starting school ( was a complete pain in her ass generally With zero social skills).
Some children are hothoused and some children ( like a little boy I taught at nursery whose parents could not speak English and yet he was reading books aimed at 7 year olds at 3) are just born instinctively getting how symbols work.
I got ill and now having to reteach myself all the skills I was born with, so for me, it certainly didn't give me a sustained advantage.

Honestly OP this progress means a lot to you (obviously) at the moment but you will have many more set backs and challenges ahead. You think its an achievement that your kid seems ahead right now, enjoy it, it wont last. Its such a long journey. My very creative DD was very behind at year 1 and 3 and 5 and felt dumb as hell. Her best friends were reading before they started school and could do anything she couldn't - she was smart enough to know it. She was slow to read and understand maths. She got brilliant A levels. Her quick to read friends got the same results. If you really understand that you will realise it just doesnt matter whether you helped your kid or not. The others will catch up and equal or surpass.

Why would it “come up” in conversation? And if it did, why would you lie? Nobody is really that invested in the doings of someone else’s pre schooler.
There will be plenty like him at school, btw.

I don't know, frankly. Many children do read and write before starting school especially if their parents read and write with them - and if they want do. That isn't 'hothousing', it's normal. Hothousing is when you impose so many hours of 'work' on a child who may or may not be willing. They often teach themselves if they are interested.

I knew a little boy who taught himself computer language and programmed aged 8 :-). That was before every home had a computer, his dad was given one as a present which he borrowed and hooked up with a tiny portable black and white tv. Later on his school 'used' him to write a couple of programmes which they used (he also taught himself to play musical instruments). His parents didn't make a big thing out of it or boast and certainly didn't 'hothouse' him. It would have been impossible anyway, he wouldn't do anything he wasn't enthusiastic about.

Don't get into competitiveness with other parents at school, it's horrible. I hated drop offs and pick ups for that reason. Thankfully I went to work part time so mixed with other adults - some of whom were parents of course but work took priority in conversation.

What matters is how well they do when they are grown up and it can't be forced - encouraged, yes. Theres a big difference.

Those who can't or don't read early generally pick up and do well later.