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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this neighbour being unreasonable

87 replies

myboysmum · 07/03/2020 19:16

Bit of back ground - we live in a semi detached bungalow and my partner and I moved here nearly 2 years ago. Our neighbour's on the side that is not attached to us are elderly, I've only seen the husband once as think he's housebound but the wife goes out daily in her car. Their driveway is directly next to our front door on the side of the house (we don't have a driveway) but there is a 6' fence between so nothing can been seen. She never speaks to me and if I see her and say Good morning she just grunts. She has spoken to my partner a couple of times.

Not long after moving in, our outside porch light broke. It was only 2 weeks ago that we decided to replace it. Our new one is bigger and brighter than our other one but it is not a security light so does not come on automatically when it detects motion. We put it on as and when we need it but this is only when somebody knocks on the door or leaves the house and if my partner goes outside to smoke so it's maybe on 3 times in an evening for 5 minutes at a time.

On Thursday we received a letter from the council saying our neighbour had complained about a bright light coming from our house. She had not bothered to knock on our door to mention it, if she had we would have happily replaced the bulb with a lower wattage. I replied to the council explaining it was our porch light and wasn't on very much at all, I haven't received a reply from them yet. Since receiving the letter 2 days ago we have only switched it on once when my sister left the house after visiting so it was maybe on for 30 seconds.
Today we have now had a visit from the police about the light 😯 saying it was shining in their bathroom and they did not have a curtain.

Why would they not have a blind or curtain at their bathroom window, is she running to her bathroom every 5 minutes to check to see if the lights on.

Is this harassment ? Does anybody know if there are any laws regarding lighting on your own property.

I have sent another email to the council informing them of our police visit and suggested they tell her to get a curtain.

They also have a light outside which comes on when it detects motion and that actually shines in our kitchen window. It also has a constant red light as there is a camera attached I think, it isn't bright but can be seen from our window

So what should I do - continue using the light as I do now or not. Should I put a lower wattage bulb in ?

OP posts:
BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 07/03/2020 19:19

You had a visit from the police about a porch light?

Sally2791 · 07/03/2020 19:20

They sound unreasonable! You could try going round and having a reasonable conversation(which she should have done in the first place)
Otherwise just reduce the wattage and see what happens

SuburbanFraggle · 07/03/2020 19:20

They are unreasonable not to talk to you first.

GrockleRock · 07/03/2020 19:21

Change the bulb.

Allonym · 07/03/2020 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JasonBrun · 07/03/2020 19:23

Shit on their doorstep?

Honestly I would probably just get a dimmer bulb. Why feed the drama?

ivykaty44 · 07/03/2020 19:25

They also have a light outside which comes on when it detects motion and that actually shines in our kitchen window. It also has a constant red light as there is a camera attached I think, it isn't bright but can be seen from our window

Complain to the council about the light ^
Send in photographs and an email

FlaskMaster · 07/03/2020 19:25

Replace the bulb with a lower wattage. Write down every time you turn it on and off - no doubt your neighbour will be doing the same and you want to be able to provide the truth if they're exaggerating. The Council will have to come and look, hopefully they will say it's not a problem, and then you can advise the neighbours that you'll report any further contact about the light as harassment, but hopefully that won't be an issue as they should knock it off when told there's no problem.

SavoyCabbage · 07/03/2020 19:26

The police! Where do you live?

I saw someone steal my next door neighbours Porsche from their drive, actually nodded a greeting at him as I assumed it was a friend borrowing it as it was in the middle of the day, and the police didn't ask me a thing!

Original poster
myboysmum · 07/03/2020 19:26

@allonym there's nothing else to tell and I was shocked about the police visit.

OP posts:
DamsonDress · 07/03/2020 19:28

What did the police say?

It does sound unreasonable on their part but to put an end to it I'd be inclined to just change the bulb.

If they continued I'd change it again. I'd go disco.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 07/03/2020 19:29

I bet the neighbours have more to tell.

Original poster
myboysmum · 07/03/2020 19:30

In the letter from the council they said they had advised her to keep a diary. I told them I would be keeping one too as she would probably exaggerate it. I also told them I felt it was harassment

OP posts:
Original poster
myboysmum · 07/03/2020 19:39

Im guessing her main problem is that my partner stands outside the door to smoke and she has tried to complain about that. She doesn't have the windows open so there is no way the smoke goes in her house. He usually goes in the back garden but if it's raining he will go at the front to shelter under the porch.

I didn't speak to the police, my partner did and he turned the light on to show them. They said well it it's a bit bright but can see you need it as our pathway is very dark and there is a step to the front door which you can't see in the dark. They just said it shines in her bathroom and she doesn't have a curtain.

OP posts:
ilovedjerrymore · 07/03/2020 19:47

I’m sorry to go off topic a bit...but wow the please turned up for a light that’s a bit bright?? My friends parents got broken into and had blood all over their carpets police turned up 2 days later! Shock

ilovedjerrymore · 07/03/2020 19:47

Police*not please

MimiLaRue · 07/03/2020 19:50

I'm sorry but I agree with PP that there must be more to this. I know people who have had their house burgled and had to wait days for police to investigate. There is something "off" here. Its not a criminal offence to have a light on in your house. What specific law are you breaching?

Bluetrews25 · 07/03/2020 19:50

Is she trying to sleep in her bathroom?

PaquitaVariation · 07/03/2020 19:51

It probably is the smoking that’s the problem. We can’t open the windows at one side of our house because our neighbour does the same thing. Just change the bulb, it surely doesn’t need to be very bright, just enough so you can see where you’re stepping?

Dagnabit · 07/03/2020 20:08

I'm not sure why posters are implying that the OP is being untruthful or not telling the full story... what do you think she has been doing? Making bombs?

Original poster
myboysmum · 07/03/2020 20:15

If there is more too it I am unaware as she has never raised any issues with us. I do think it's the smoking that she wants to complain about but she has probably been told there is nothing that can be done as he is smoking on our property. Im surprised the police wasted their time to visit over something so trivial. They actually turned up when my partner was standing at the door smoking and did not say anything to him about that.

I have been tempted on a number of occasions to complain about her (j never have) as she puts food on top of her car to feed the seagulls. I actually have a phobia of birds and on more than one occasion I have been unable to walk out the house as there are so many flying around. They constantly dive bomb at my cat's and shit everywhere

OP posts:
ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 07/03/2020 20:16

This is maddening. I had a guy shout abuse at me and get out of his car trying to intimidate me in a road rage incident last year. I took his reg and drove to the police station to report it, I was really upset.

The police did fuck all. And they’re visiting you over a fucking porch light? Jesus wept...

TheQueef · 07/03/2020 20:24

You Think the light has a red light.
Surely that's a laser guided sniper rifle trying to shoot out your porch light?
Tell the cops that.
See how she likes a fumble from a full ART.

RandomSaturday · 07/03/2020 20:25

We don't have a blind or curtain in our bathroom and we have a building at the bottom of the garden with huge security lights. It's a 24/7 place and is an ambulance station and 111 call centre. The light is so bright you can go in our bathroom at night without needing to turn our lights on, never thought to complain about it. Maybe the police might be interest Grin

AutumnRose1 · 07/03/2020 20:29

“ I have been tempted on a number of occasions to complain about her (j never have) as she puts food on top of her car to feed the seagulls.”

Can you complain to the council about that?

She sounds bonkers.

Given that the police have time to investigate non crimes, I can believe they’ve turned up, yes.