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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried sick about my friend ?

54 replies

GaaaaarlicBread · 06/03/2020 18:35

Hi, so I have a friend I’ll call her Sue, she’s one of my best friends who I worked with many years ago. She’s 65 next week, she’s like a grandparent to me . We had made plans to meet up for a coffee and breakfast tomorrow. We made these plans almost 5 weeks ago and I hadn’t got my diary with me so I ‘pencilled in’ to my phone at the time. I then got a reminder last week about one of my other friends (Sophie ) birthday celebration which is also tomorrow an hour after I was supposed to be meeting Sue .
Baby brain, I had completely forgotten . Anyway my friend Sue doesn’t have a mobile , just a landline and we rely on email to chat in between calls . Sue lives alone with her cat and I have no other means of contact for her, no next of kins (she has no children). I have been trying to contact her for days to try and let her know I can’t do tomorrow but I haven’t managed to catch her at all I’ve emailed her, not got anything back. I have her address but can’t drive , and it’s about 30 mins from my house and I don’t want to just turn up, but I’m panicking that something has happened to her and that nobody knows to contact me , like her neighbour or something . What can I do? Am I over reacting ? It’s been 5 weeks since we last spoke to make plans , so anything could’ve happened couldn’t it ? She’s been scatty on emails before but will always get back to me if she’s missed a phone call.
It’s not like her.
Please advise me

OP posts:
LouLouLoo · 06/03/2020 18:37

Where were you due to meet Sue? I would go there and cancel on Sophie.

Original poster
GaaaaarlicBread · 06/03/2020 18:39

@loulouloo we were due to meet in town about 10 min bus route from my house. What do I do if she doesn’t turn up ?

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 06/03/2020 18:42

Have you rung her landline and she isnt answering

Have you tried to get the number of any of her niehgbours

Original poster
GaaaaarlicBread · 06/03/2020 18:43

@quartz2208 yes I’ve been ringing and it rings and then eventually goes to answer phone . I’ve left answer messages too.
Not got any neighbours numbers , where could I get them ? I don’t have a yellow pages or anything

OP posts:
CorianderLord · 06/03/2020 18:44

Go to her house then. To check on her.

Or call the police non emergency and say you're concerned and a welfare check may be needed.

Original poster
GaaaaarlicBread · 06/03/2020 18:46

@CorianderLord is that 101?

OP posts:
Zoey92 · 06/03/2020 18:47

I'd just turn up and check on her

HollowTalk · 06/03/2020 18:48

If you post something tomorrow, she'll get it on Monday. Send a card in a bright envelope and send it by registered post so that she has to sign for it.

HollowTalk · 06/03/2020 18:48

Actually you don't need the bright envelope AND the registered post!

ohtheholidays · 06/03/2020 18:52

Yes OP it is 101,the Police are usually good about things like this,just explain that you haven't spoken for over a month and that she has no next of kin and that you've tried ringing and emailing her and there's been no answer and your worried about her.

The Police can call round and do a welfare check,I hope your friends okay.

namechangedforthis1122 · 06/03/2020 18:55

I'm genuinely worried about sue Sad

Lifeoverhaul · 06/03/2020 18:58

Why is the cat relevant? Another person to stereotype a childless woman.

Samtsirch · 06/03/2020 18:58

I would be worried 😟
Go to check on her and call 101 if you are still worried.
It is better to be safe than sorry, even if it’s a false alarm 101 will be understanding.

Bluntness100 · 06/03/2020 18:59

As others said, call 101 and ask for a welfare check.

Bobbiepin · 06/03/2020 19:00

I would ask the police to do a welfare check. Is there any chance she's visiting someone?

whatareyoucooking · 06/03/2020 19:02

Yes. Please check on Sue.

Twinkleyrocks · 06/03/2020 19:02

101 now!!! I hope she's OK and it's just a simple issue with her phone.

crustycrab · 06/03/2020 19:02

Just go and meet her tomorrow. Email first and say you're worried and actually you will be there after all.

BlankTimes · 06/03/2020 19:03

Does she live in an area where there was flooding, is it possible her house was badly flooded and she's staying elsewhere temporarily?
Keep emailing and ringing her landline tonight, try your hardest to establish contact.

Even without hearing from her, definitely go to the meet-up you'd arranged tomorrow.

If she doesn't show up, and do wait long enough that it couldn't be a missed bus causing that, then think about ringing the police non-emergency, explain she lives alone and you've been trying for a long time to contact her but she's not replied and she's missed a meet-up with you, both of which are totally out of character. Ask them to do a welfare check on her.

sofaandchoc · 06/03/2020 19:03

I know it's 30 mins but I would go to her house to check on her. Is there anyone who can give you a lift? Then call 101 if no answer

BlankTimes · 06/03/2020 19:04

Once more i see I'm the slowest typist on the thread and have crossposted with everyone Blush

Bluntness100 · 06/03/2020 19:04

The police will go and do a welfare check, just call 101 and explain. Make it sound urgent, which it is.

WantToBeMum · 06/03/2020 19:04

I would go to where you had arranged to meet tomorrow, if she doesn't show go straight over to her home to check on her. If no answer, knock on a neighbour's door.
Maybe if she had a fall or something and was taken into hospital one of the neighbours would have seen an ambulance come but not know who to contact. Failing that, as others have said, call the non-emergency number for a welfare check.

Bluntness100 · 06/03/2020 19:05

And don’t wait till tomorrow that’s shit advice, do it now.

cushioncovers · 06/03/2020 19:06

Yes I would check on her.