Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

WRONGLY accused of stealing

66 replies

KnittingAddiction · 06/03/2020 13:55

I have name changed for this, as I don't want my other threads linked. I am into knitting, so last week I attended The Stitch Festival in London. It was 3 of us, all about 50 years old, all into sewing and knitting, as you can imagine. We look as normal and as boring as it gets. :-)

At one point, Friend 1 was paying for some stuff, I was standing next to her, and Friend 2 was looking at a stand. Suddenly, security came down on us saying Friend 2 had been seen stealing something. We were taken away, the police was called and in the end, it was obvious that this was just a lie. NONE of us has ever stolen anything in our lives, and certainly not at that show. It was a horrible experience and it really spoiled the day for us.

The security guy said that I should ask for my money back from the organisers, as even though I was allowed back into the show, I was in such a state of anxiety that I actually couldn't stay. I was scared of approaching any stand, just in case people were looking at me. It might sound ridiculous now, but I was in a terrible state.

So, on Monday, I wrote to the organisers to say ask if I could have my money back for the entrance (£15) and they said no, because I was allowed back in the venue. Well, yes, I was, but thanks to their wrong accusation, I was unable to enjoy it anymore and had to leave.

What do you think? Was I unreasonable to ask? What else can I do?

OP posts:

Sufferingjaysus · 06/03/2020 13:59

Let it go and move on
I’m sure it was a very unpleasant experience for you all but there’s little else to do except move on

katkit · 06/03/2020 14:12

Ask for an explanation as to why this happened!

Symbollove · 06/03/2020 14:17

Kick up a fuss, it's horrible to be accused of stealing and yes they may have then seen they were mistaken, but that doesn't take away how you felt! You would be very uncomfortable being in that setting after being accused of stealing not to mention what there may be thinking,
Your anxiety would be high and. I wonder you couldn't enjoy it. Keep pestering the organisers, demand to speak to a superior manager, they will end up giving your money back just to get rid of your complaint

Original poster

KnittingAddiction · 06/03/2020 14:18

I did ask for an explanation. They said every accusation needs to be investigated, and once it was established that it was a wrong accusation, they let us go. This is true, but it took about an hour and by then, my day was ruined.

I guess it was a member of the public who accused my friend, but they would not confirm that. Not that it matters who it was, as it was clearly wrong

OP posts:

BoomBoomsCousin · 06/03/2020 14:18

Did you have any option about going with security? You could potentially sue the organizers for wrongful arrest. People who aren’t police officers can only detain you in very specific circumstances which make it unlikely they could do so legally when you hadn’t stolen anything.

Rather than asking for your money back you might be able to ask for a larger amount as compensation for the embarrassment and stress they caused by wrongfully detaining you and slandering you in front of others. But you’d need to speak to a solicitor to see if this is viable.

Isthistrueor · 06/03/2020 14:21

I’d let it go because it’s £15 and I couldn’t be bothered stressing over that amount. If it were more than £40ish I’d probably kick up a fuss.

heartsonacake · 06/03/2020 14:24

YABU. They let you into the show so they provided you with what you paid for, you just chose not to use it.

ForgotAboutThis · 06/03/2020 14:24

Theft is absolutely rife at these knitting events, some of the stories I've heard about what has been taken are just mind boggling.
I don't think you've got any other options than just to chalk it up to one of those things and move on. I'm sure it was upsetting and stressful, but I don't know where else you would take it, except for one of those public social media posts that go viral.

BobbyBlueCat · 06/03/2020 14:25

Move on.

It's not the venue's fault that you were too 'anxious' to enjoy the rest of the day.

You'd soon be moaning if you'd had something stolen from your handbag that day, thought you knew who did it and the police refused to get involved because the person was getting upset.

Herocomplex · 06/03/2020 14:27

If it’s any consolation stealing is a massive problem at those big shows, and it’s the most unlikely looking people. You know you didn’t do it, they know they made a mistake.

Please don’t let it get you down, can you turn it into a funny story between you and your friends? Make it into a joke, tell everyone about your experience? Re-frame it?

Honeybee85 · 06/03/2020 14:27

Wow OP this sounds horrible.

I don’t think YABU and the response you got was quite cold. I think you can’t do much else then let it go unless you’re willing to make another complaint but I’m pretty sure they won’t be doing anything more then they have done so far.

I was once wrongly accused of stealing and made a complaint about the employee who implied I had to the HR department of the company that owned the shop. They took it very seriously, gave me flowers and chocolates and the manager deeply apologized. Still I felt really uncomfortable to go back there. They didn’t try to take me to the back of the shop though. If they had, I would have told them to search my bag there and then and call the police if they had found anything stolen (which they wouldn’t have). An advice that I had gotten from my ex MIL who told this to the security guy that stopped her as she was leaving a department store where she was a regular customer and had never stolen anything. He immediately let her go and apologized. No need to accept being taken to some back office if you haven’t done anything wrong.

ellendegeneres · 06/03/2020 14:38

I was once wrongly accused of stealing too. Was held for an hour by security at the exit with a huge trolley of purchased goods and them threatening loudly to call police with customers going past thinking god knows what.

The member of staff on till hadn’t scanned something that I had put on the counter but had moved it over to the other side as though she had without a word so I had no way of knowing it hadn’t gone through.

The little bitch was screaming at me at one point that I was a thief. Security took ages to check the footage covering her till and then acknowledged that due to it being a non self serve till, it was her responsibility as the footage showed her move it over.
Never did get any form of disciplinary measures, when I put in a formal complaint they just kept fobbing me off. I went recently (first time in 7 or 8yrs) and she was still there. I’m shocked that I still felt sick on seeing her.

So no, that’s my long drawn out way of saying I don’t blame you for not being able to go back in that day. And yes, you should have been refunded.

IntermittentParps · 06/03/2020 14:46

I agree with BoomBoomsCousin. This is worth taking seriously. It's not about the £15.

Windyatthebeach · 06/03/2020 14:49

Trip advisor - and rate the event truthfully.

Bezalelle · 06/03/2020 14:50

I'm intrigued by all this stealing that apparently goes on at knitting events to require such security. Who would have thought!

Herocomplex · 06/03/2020 15:00

All big shopping events Bezalelle, the ‘posher‘ the clientele the worse it is. The thrill of it is very appealing.

Original poster

KnittingAddiction · 06/03/2020 15:05

Thanks for your answers, everyone. I have sent another email to the organisers. I'll see how I feel when/if they respond.

The experience has certainly put me off from attending this kind of event again.

OP posts:

RestaurantoffBroadway · 06/03/2020 15:10

if it takes you more than a couple of hours of stress & admin to get 15 quid back, it's not worth it.

LIZS · 06/03/2020 15:19

Not sure why you think it is the organisers' responsibility to refund you. It was not even you accused. Presumably these are independent vendors' stands with a security presence. Horrid though it was, there is probably an issue with petty theft and the retailers cannot afford to lose money. You were delayed but had the day you had paid for.

Ellisandra · 06/03/2020 15:22

How did it escalate to the police being called?

Madam, we believe you’ve stolen .
here’s my bag, I think you’ll find I haven’t
ah, apologies, mistake from the person reporting, I’m sorry for the inconvenience

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 06/03/2020 15:23

It’s not the organisers fault that someone reported you for stealing tho? hmm

Ellisandra · 06/03/2020 15:30

I think you need to consider how much better £15 is going to make you feel. I get that it’s the acknowledgment more than the money - but you had that from the actual security guard involved, his acknowledgment that in his opinion he’d give you your money back.

It wasn’t you accused, it was your friend. She knew she was innocent and therefore though a pita wasn’t going to lead to anything.

Another 3 random women would have turned it into an anecdote by now.

what shall we do Sat?
maybe go to Superdrug and swipe some lipsticks?

I think you’d get more peace from accepting that it happened, and OK - not everyone has the personality to be able to later see the funny side - but I think you’d gain more from deciding to let it go, than from chasing £15.

Original poster

KnittingAddiction · 06/03/2020 15:46

Not sure why you think it is the organisers' responsibility to refund you... well, I was not sure when I started the thread. That's why I asked.

OP posts:

Original poster

KnittingAddiction · 06/03/2020 15:50

How did it escalate to the police being called?, I have just received a response to that. I had actually asked the same question. Apparently, it was because the accused person, who by the way has mental health issues and very agitated, was using "aggressive language". Why they felt the need to send 3 police people for that is beyond me. The other woman and I were speechless, so definitely not making a fuss, and as I say, we hardly look like the terrorist squad!

OP posts:

Original poster

KnittingAddiction · 06/03/2020 15:52

Anyway, thanks everyone. I don't see the funny part of this, and I certainly won't be remembering it as a funny anecdote. But I am going to put it at the back of my mind and move on. I won't bother attending this sort of show again.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3