WRONGLY accused of stealing

[KnittingAddiction]

I have name changed for this, as I don't want my other threads linked. I am into knitting, so last week I attended The Stitch Festival in London. It was 3 of us, all about 50 years old, all into sewing and knitting, as you can imagine. We look as normal and as boring as it gets. :-)

At one point, Friend 1 was paying for some stuff, I was standing next to her, and Friend 2 was looking at a stand. Suddenly, security came down on us saying Friend 2 had been seen stealing something. We were taken away, the police was called and in the end, it was obvious that this was just a lie. NONE of us has ever stolen anything in our lives, and certainly not at that show. It was a horrible experience and it really spoiled the day for us.

The security guy said that I should ask for my money back from the organisers, as even though I was allowed back into the show, I was in such a state of anxiety that I actually couldn't stay. I was scared of approaching any stand, just in case people were looking at me. It might sound ridiculous now, but I was in a terrible state.

So, on Monday, I wrote to the organisers to say ask if I could have my money back for the entrance (£15) and they said no, because I was allowed back in the venue. Well, yes, I was, but thanks to their wrong accusation, I was unable to enjoy it anymore and had to leave.

What do you think? Was I unreasonable to ask? What else can I do?

If it’s any consolation stealing is a massive problem at those big shows, and it’s the most unlikely looking people.

I used to work in retail and literally everyone steals. Posh middle class mums with their kids, men with high flying city jobs in suits etc. You can never stereotype people as innocent/guilty based upon their appearance. In fact the people who outwardly look like they would never steal tend to be the most prolific as they can go under the radar

For longer

Ugh you were wrongly accused of stealing, that’s not nice for anyone.

You can not expect a refund for your day out from the organisers for this though, it’s just a shitty experience.

And what exactly does a ‘terrorist squad’ look like?

You’ve not personally been accused of anything. Your friend was, she made a fuss about going with security so police were called. At what point did your friend say to security here, check my bag / coat/ pockets?
I got stopped once when the alarm went off leaving a store and I just opened my bags, security saw a coat with its security tag on, I showed my receipt and she walked with me to the till to get it removed. I still go in there!

Oh dear op... you don't look like a terrorist squad? You've lost me now!!

You could perhaps complain to the venue. They’re no doubt in charge of security.

But is it worth it? You might get an apology and a discount voucher, but struggling to achieve that would just keep up your stress levels — when you could instead dismiss it as unimportant and turn your attention to more enjoyable matters.

Yes, I am surprised it escalated to police involvement too. I also agree the misunderstanding would have been resolved promptly if your innocent friend worked with them vs against them.

Did this event already have police presence? At least in retail, police would take hours to arrive, if they’d attend at all, as it’s such a low priority. Hence why retailers tend to go for civil recovery and bans instead of police involvement for low level offences.

My advice would be write back to the organisers and say that their staff made such a scene (if true) that there was a crowd watching you all and that you felt embarrassed going back in etc. You may be able to negotiate something. Also leave a review of your experience.

If the organisers weren't the ones doing the accusing, I don;t think you can ask them to refund you, OP.

It is utterly rubbish though.

I guess you could go down the route of saying I am innocent until proven guilty and I will continue about my business until you can prove I have stolen something". Takes some guts and presence of mind though especially if you have some security guard being officious and threatening the modern equivalent of a citizen's arrest.

Just read the response at 15:50. What does a terrorist squad look like then?

Are you saying it would be understandable for them to have called the police on innocent people that may have been wrongly stereotyped as a “terrorist?” Racist much? Clearly you’re not as innocent as you apparently look.

Your friend was rude and argumentative, mental health problems aren’t a free pass for aggressive behaviour. Instead of you being silent with your mouth wide open, you should have spoken sense into her.

”Did this event already have police presence? At least in retail, police would take hours to arrive, if they’d attend at all, as it’s such a low priority. ”

As it was a large London venue, there would be a significant police presence, and no doubt they would be immediately called to any disturbance.

*Just read the response at 15:50. What does a terrorist squad look like then?

Are you saying it would be understandable for them to have called the police on innocent people that may have been wrongly stereotyped as a “terrorist?” Racist much? Clearly you’re not as innocent as you apparently look.*

well, I am foreign, look foreign and we were speaking our own language, so maybe some did think we look like the terrorist squad. :-(

How unpleasant. Did the security guard or police apologise to you, KA?

to clarify the above, I am not the only foreign one out of the 3 of us. We all are, and look it!

Did the security guard or police apologise to you?, I don't know or rather I cannot remember, to be honest. But it doesn't matter. I think I am going to stop thinking about it and move on. Not worth thinking about it any more

What does foreign look like though?

Good idea to move on, don't let it affect your days out. If it makes you feel any better, I was once did have the police turn up to my door as one of our neighbours suspected terrorist activity. And we too considered ourselves pretty normal :)

“I won’t bother attending this sort of show again”.

If that’s anything more than a flippant comment, then you’re over reacting and should seek counselling to move past this, rather than let your feelings restrict your life in future.

I am not sure why ppl are saying its not the organisers fault, they are being paid to provide the experience, if things are not to standard they are the ones people need to turn to.
Saying that your view that you don't look like a terroist so somehow should be assumed innocent,did get by back up. How and what you look like shouldn't be the reason why security staff can tackle you or not.
Apologies if I am incorrect but it seems that when questioned instead of being open and understanding this is their job, one of your group became rude and aggressive , with you just standing there doing nothing. Sorry but that is where the mistake lay and if there is anyone who should be apologising to you and refunding the cost its this person. She/he may not dress like a an unsavory person, but it does seem they act like one.

”I am not sure why ppl are saying its not the organisers fault, they are being paid to provide the experience, if things are not to standard they are the ones people need to turn to.”

The organisers wouldn’t be responsible for the security, and would have no say over security arrangements.

The venue would no doubt be responsible for security arrangements as advised by police.

So IF you DID 'look' like the terrorist squad, presumably this would have been acceptable??

As a London dweller, I’m just thankful the police try to move fast at the first sign of a disturbance. That’s very acceptable to me.

I’d say the takeaway is that anyone challenged by security staff, for whatever reason, would be wise to co-operate politely and answers questions as helpfully as possible. Creating a scene is risky, nowadays, whatever you look like.

If your friend hadn't got aggressive over people doing their jobs, the police would have been kept out of it.

All she had to do was turn out her bag and pockets and the whole 'incident' would have been over.

I'm intrigued by all this stealing that apparently goes on at knitting events to require such security. Who would have thoughtt

I follow several people on social media who are hand spinners, dyers, make yarn out of alpaca or some weird type of fleece. High quality yarn is expensive. 100g of something like alpaca and silk yarn costs upwards of £20. It;s small, light, easy to steal. Customers are all wandering around with big bags - in fact they usually give you a bag as you walk in. People who are exhibiting at these shows lose ££££ in stock.

Probably the same people who come into the charity shop where I volunteer and steal.

Not excusing what happened to OP though, sounds like it was all handled very badly.

Well. I certainly won't go to that show if that's how they treat people. I would get on Facebook and Twitter if they don't provide an adequate response. Thefts might be a big problem but that doesn't make it ok to go around accusing people without foundation and ruining their day.