To miss the fun of dating?

[FirstFlush]

I'm married and we have DC. No problems at present in our marriage, although we have had near split that we decided to work through. That was a few years ago though, and we're fine now.

I find myself missing the thrill of dating. Getting to know someone, the carefree fun dates, getting dressed up, the excitement of it all. Flirting, first kisses, none of the everyday grind etc.

Does anyone else get this? I've enabled voting, though I'd really like to hear your thoughts?

YABU - Happily married people don't think about this
YANBU - Totally understand!

Sometimes I miss the early days of dating my DH -- we had so much fun! That was 13 years ago and obviously things are more settled now. But, we do go out on nice evenings, we travel, we spend nice time together at home, all this helps keep some romance alive (sorry that's an ick phrase, don't know how else to say it!)

I don't miss dating in general though -- do you mean you miss getting to know new people, other people? I imagine a lot of people feel this way but if it was me, I'd be a bit worried tbh. I'd see it as a sign I was getting bored with DH.

I was 40 last year and have been married for 17 years and I feel EXACTLY like this.
We still go out for meals and "dates" and I love him a lot but it's not the same as when everything is exciting.
Tbh im chalking it up to a mid life crisis. I'm doing more exercise to try and raise my endorphins and have vivid dreams about being 20 and not a care in the world ( and shagging ). I'm hoping it will pass......

When did you last date OP? From my single friends I can tell you it is not fun.
Dating apps have seemingly sucked all the fun out of it- it's a minefield more than ever, and the way some men think it's ok to speak to women on apps disgusts me. I have to say if I was suddenly single again now Id rather stay single.

I must be a miserable old sod then because I just couldn’t be bothered with going through all that again!!

Dating these days is a steaming pile of shit. You’re REALLY not missing out.

I am dating, and I love it, so yanbu. ,
I also miss being in a happy relationship from time to time.

I don't miss "dating" in the formal sense, but I do miss the thrill of fancying someone and the buildup to the first kiss/first fumble etc. and all the thrills and excitement that goes with it.

I've done a lot of things in my life but nothing in the world has ever topped that feeling for me. I think it's something I'll always have to keep in check. If I hadn't wanted children I would never have "settled down" for very long!

I miss 'the fun' of dating & im single!

OLD just seems like hard work not fun.
I can't get excited about meeting complete strangers which is basically what OLD is.
I'm usually a nervous wreck.

If I was to meet a man the old fashioned way, eg at work, in a bar, at the gym etc then at least we'd have flirted a bit, I'd know there is a spark, I'd fancy the guy & be looking forward to seeing him!!

So for now I've given up on dating apps & hoping to somehow meet a man out & about.

I’m not sure I ever enjoyed the early days of dating anyway so that is bound to skew my answer but I am so thankful I am happily married because the prospect of dating again really doesn’t appeal at all.

I'm recently divorced and, to be honest, absolutely love dating. I had no idea how happy I would be to be divorced. And with online dating now, there's so so many men.

I remember it being a lot of fun, but it was like a social kaleidoscope when we were younger; you'd get chatting to anyone anywhere and friends of friends, your friends were around.

I don't know what OLD is like, but if I went out for a date now I'd feel slightly grumpy about having to detangle myself from my duvet on the sofa and prepare to go out. Weather this time of year doesn't help.

I asked my DH this but I was fishing for a compliment - he and I agree that we love the certainty of being together and wouldn’t go back to the missing each other, wondering what the other is doing that our dating consisted of. I actually pined a bit when he had to leave

That's cute Queen

I don’t miss it. I miss having date nights with DH I guess, we don’t often get the opportunity anymore for various reasons. I don’t miss dating in general though, I always found it fairly soul destroying.

I don't miss dating! I do miss our marriage "pre-toddler" a bit - when we only had ourselves to please. I have friends in their late 30s who are still dating and it sounds grim! Plus I honestly don't think there's anyone out there that I would enjoy spending time with more than my husband when the toddler is asleep or at nanny and grandads.

I'm single, in my 50's, no sex drive and can't really drink.

But i miss the anticipation of getting ready for a night out and tipsy flirting.

No, not in the slightest
Infact, If my current relationship ended, I'd be content to stay single.
I love my son and partner, but the thought of going through the "trying to impress" phase once again has no appeal whatsoever. Can't be doing with the overblown egos, vain and conceited people.
My idea of a nightmare.

I think online dating can be really painful and anxiety inducing. Maybe dating in real life is easier, don’t know.

Online dating for the most parts sucks... I did eventually meet my current boyfriend through it and the early days of that were a lot of fun but I certainly don't miss the bullshit, the ghosting, the being dicked around and generally lousy behaviour from sub-standard blokes. You got to kiss a lot of frogs and it can get old really quickly.

I think what you probably miss is the thrill of flirting with someone new, the will he/won't he thing.

It's a bit like emotional crack though, highs are high and the lows are dreadful. As long as you're happy in your current relationship I wouldn't think you're missing much.

YABU but not because married people shouldn't feel like this but because dating in 2020 is a fucking shitshow

I miss the dating that I used to do when I was in my twenties and relatively hot. The blokes were queuing up for a date. I had all the power and it was genuinely fun.

These days, I couldn't even be arsed to shave my legs. I imagine dating to be quite different now I'm fat and forty with a kid in tow.

Everyone has more baggage at this age, you have ex wives, kids, debts etc to deal with, sounds like a headache.

I wouldn't say I was happily married but I am married and maybe it's better the devil you know?

I don't think it's natural for us to only fancy one person in our lifetime, I think its perfectly normal to want to meet other people even if you love your partner deeply.

I missed it while I was married to my exh. When we split I realised how awful dating actually is, especially now the majority of people seem to meet online. I couldn't be arsed with it in reality and was glad when I met my DP

I thought this a while ago then I really thought about what it was like - the nerves, the let downs, the waiting for messages, the feeling duped, the worry I wouldn’t meet anyone long term and realised I didn’t miss it one bit.
I do sometimes wish I could repeat the early days with DH as it was a lot of fun.