To miss the fun of dating?

[FirstFlush]

I'm married and we have DC. No problems at present in our marriage, although we have had near split that we decided to work through. That was a few years ago though, and we're fine now.

I find myself missing the thrill of dating. Getting to know someone, the carefree fun dates, getting dressed up, the excitement of it all. Flirting, first kisses, none of the everyday grind etc.

Does anyone else get this? I've enabled voting, though I'd really like to hear your thoughts?

YABU - Happily married people don't think about this
YANBU - Totally understand!

Dating is not fun.

Pretty sure this is why people read Mills and Boon!

I had a while when I wanted to meet someone else, but I realised that actually it was a sign my marriage was unhappy. Now separated and trying to work on being happy alone.

I think YABU in a way, but it's nothing to do with being married. The truth is, when you're single, that dating isn't really that fun and isn't as great as you seem to believe. Women are dating because they want what you have. It's just a case of thinking the grass is greener when it isn't. Half the time it's dressing up to end up at a local Wetherspoons by someone who keeps trying to steer the conversation towards sex.

I don't know. It was such a rollercoaster. Gorgeous at times but sickening too. I loved the thrill and chase of having someone i liked, and I have memories of times that were pure electric but i still don't think I could put myself through it again. Have been convinced for a while that if anything went wrong with my husband i'd stay single..I don't think I could inflict my foibles on anyone else or be doing with anyone else's foibles at this stage. Besides we're so cosy and comfy together and it took such a long time to find him. I don't think I could ever get that lucky again. So no, am in the happy with what you've got camp...

Oh God, no! I've never actually done the whole dating thing as DH and I knew each other anyway so we didn't need to get to know each other as it were. But the thought of it terrifies me. The waiting for messages, trying to second guess the other person, finding out they're dodgy just as you've fell for them. I honestly don't think I'd bother if I was single again.

Oh wow I am single and the one reason I am staying that way is I absolutely hate the early stages of dating!! Would rather never meet anyone again so I can avoid dating.

What seems to be common if ghosting aswell. Sleeping with someone and then them never contacting you again. Yeh what’s not to miss

I miss the early days of dating my dp and the first year of living together was so much fun stuff and sex every night .
But we are now a proper family we still have fun and plenty sex but I do still miss the early days dp says he doesn't miss it and feels really happy and settled which I do too just sometimes miss the excitement.

I loved dating in the early stages (40s divorced) but OLD destroys that joy fairly rapidly.

Constant rejection mixed with abuse and it seems common morals have disappeared. It’s ok to just disappear, use people, send dirty photos, multi date many people and pick your favourite...

Ha ok going out, meeting someone you find a spark with and that first kiss is lovely. But for me cynically not once has it ended well! Would prefer to have someone that loves me and has my back. Don’t undervalue that.

Christ no. But I dated until I was 35 and still go out on dates with my husband now.

You are being very silly. What exactly is it really that you are missing? No. You can't go back to the thrill of those first dates. But you can still go on dates with your Dh.

Are you seriously saying that you want to let him go? The stability of your marriage. To go dating again.

Bet it'd be horrific! Why don't you do a parachute jump or find your thrills else where before making any decisions that you might regret.

How long ago were you dating? App dating is horrific and seems to have spawned a generation of 18 - 35 year old fuckboys.

I can understand missing the early days of dating your husband or partner who you now know loves you and you know it developed into something nice but just wanting to date randomisers again no I don’t get. All my friends struggling with men who treat them bad, use them, ghost them, dating isn’t really fun.

I'm amazed that so many people dislike OLD.
I love it. I'm constantly chatting and flirting with 3 or 4 blokes, get taken out for lunch, dinner, drinks; skip down the street with excitement of a new bloke. And if blokes move on, so what, I don't take it personally, just swipe right on another.

I'm married with dcs and I miss dating. The thrill of getting dressed up, getting to know someone, chatting the night away. I loved dating

I couldn't be arsed if I broke up with DP. So many lairs cheats all the swiping on dating apps.
I'd prefer to be alone. In saying that I was single for 4 years before I got with DP at 27, I have a few years of serial dating under my belt never taking it further during those years.

It’s actually the one reason why im staying single like I said. I actually would hate meeting a different man every week.

Apologies for the delayed reply - have been rather unwell the last few days.

Sounds like dating is a bit of minefield now
Don't people get set up on blind dates anymore? Or meet someone at the pub / party / day out somewhere?

I don't want a divorce, I do love DH. I certainly wouldn't cheat. I was just trying to say that I miss all of the exciting dates etc

Sounds like it’s not the “treat” of going a meal, drinks, theatre, shared activity or whatever that you miss, or “dating” per se, but the feelings during the early stages of a relationship that’s going well with someone you’re into and who is into you.

So this is just a “mating in captivity” challenge.

I miss the excitement of the honeymoon period but not the ghosting and getting stood up!