Am I over-the-top or are these guys just lazy and slobby ?

[Comfyslippers28]

I live in a studio flat within a big house. The other studios are filled by 5 men.
Last week, one of them went out and left the front door WIDE open. Not even talking about just forgetting to lock it, he left it completely wide open, and we live on a busy main road in an urban area.

We had one who got asked to leave because of complaints. He would order takeaways and let them rot in his room, then put rotting chicken carcasses and such in the bin. We had flies for ages, and funnily since he left, they have stopped.

These men who I was told are all 'working professionals' do not know how to recycle. Constant pizza boxes chucked in the main bin, cereal boxes etc., i've had to sort out their rubbish several times.

Next is the shoes. Forever leaving shoes right in front of the door to the main kitchen and garden so that someone has to move them before they can go out. It's just pure laziness. Why not just leave them on the side ?!

Someone else left dirty dishes in the sink for days on end. I have left notes (I know this can seem passive aggressive, but I rarely see the men and don't know who exactly are the main culprits.

Fortunately our agency is quite strict and there are no noisy parties or anything like that.

Is this normal for men in their 20s/30s?

I can't afford to rent a flat alone (i'm single) and this is the closest thing I can get. I have my own bathroom and small kitchenette which is a lifesaver.

I wouldn't go back into a typical houseshare if you paid me.

Stop using the main kitchen and step on their shoes when they leave them in the way?

I only have a microwave in my room so if I want to use the hob etc. I have to use the main kitchen. I can do basic stuff in my room but not really anything that I can't just microwave.

I'd get a large box for the shoes and shove them in it, out of the way. Another for the dirty crockery. These are guys who've always had someone to clear up after them and are assuming someone always will.

That's a good idea about the shoes.

That's very true, it's embarrassing really, 18 year old uni students, ok, verging on 30, no.

Could you change the microwave for one of those microwave/grill/oven with 2 rings on top things?

I'd carefully kick one shoe from each pair out to the garden.

It's a microwave that's provided by the agency, it's all furnished I mean, but I could look at buying a mini oven with rings type thing if it's not too pricy !

@ZacharyQuack 😂

They are slobs and I'm working hard to ensure my DS16 isn't like this HOWEVER we are told in our area we can't recycle pizza boxes.

YANBU however, lazy manchildren

Ok, you will not change their behaviour, no matter how many notes you leave or whatever you do. So all you can do is live your life. Work around the mess. Ignore what you can. Yeah, they’re slobs, but it’s their life and they owe you nothing, let alone have any responsibility to change how they act for you. You won’t teach them. They don’t want to learn. Ignore or move out.

By the way, if you start cleaning or tidying it will become your job and you will end up always doing it. Don’t move or tidy one single thing!

You can get little induction hotplates that plug in - single or double. That may help you.

I used to live in mixed sex hospital residences with male nurses & doctors....
They were awful!!
So messy, they cooked stir fries & curries all the time but never washed up.
They never took out the rubbish. If the bin was full then the rubbish went on the floor.
If they came home drunk they would be really loud & leave their radios on, fall asleep & keep everyone else awake.
In fact two of the men I shared with at various times were functioning alcoholics & therefore in the mornings the toilet would actually have blood in it (from kidney stones / ulcers I assumed) & the bathroom would stink of stale alcohol.
Not to mention the 40 a day smokers and weed smokers who made the whole flat stink.
Yes these were male healthcare professionals.
Oh yes and once I found my bra in the fridge.

Also my sister had two male lodgers, one after the other, both police officers.
Well, she soon got sick of the constant noise, mess, housework not being done, getting woken up in the early hours by drunk men several times a week etc...
She's never had another lodger.

I feel your pain OP. I'm sure there are tidy non-slobby men out there but they must be married or live alone... they certainly don't live in bedsits or flatshares.

At least you don't have to share a toilet...

Single to ring induction hob. Gits in a drawer and , in some ways, safer than an electric hob. Though you do need to buy induction compatable pans.

Yeah pizza boxes are too greasy to recycle

Funnily enough I have just been chatting with a guy on bumble who said can we get a hotel instead of go back to his studio flat with housemates because he's quite messy. Perhaps he's one of your housemates - I'll consider this an early warning!

Same about pizza boxes. Can’t be recycled here

Some of that is slobby and lazy, but you choosing to sort their rubbish out because they've put a pizza box in a bin makes me think WTF. It's not your job to go through the rubbish so why do it?

Like whatareyoucooking, pizza boxes aren't in recycling in our area and we have to wash/rinse all recycling so it may be worth checking if your council actually recycle cardboard covered in food waste.

Does your kitchenette have a sink you can wash up in?

A halogen oven with a fold back lid would be your friend,

I would kick one of the shoes under a chair,cupboard , into the garden etc etc. Every single time. If this doesnt sort it then throw one outside and let it get wet/stolen/trampled on. It throw them in the bin but never admit to it.
If they leave dirty pots dump the washing up bowl on the middle of the work too to make a point.
Do not clean up after them
If it smells then leave a window open especially if they are in and let it go cold.

@comphyslippers28 have you thought of getting a halogeon oven, use mine all the time in favour of main oven.

I'd get something like this and stay away from the shared facilities:

rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.co.uk%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F293234684405

I’ve had success with a scorched earth policy when I last shared with messy men- it only worked because I knew they were actually really nice guys so weren’t going to react dangerously. They were just lazy and didn’t see any consequences.

Dirty anything left anywhere... into a bin bag and left at the side of the room. Shoes in doorways pop them outside or in the bin bag with the plates.
Have your own plates, pans and keep them in your room.

Smile and be chatty when you see them but be absolutely ruthless. It took me two weeks of awkwardness then they never left a sink full of dishes ever again!

Tell your agent about the open door and get a lock on your own rooms pronto.

I'm sure there are tidy non-slobby men out there but they must be married or live alone... they certainly don't live in bedsits or flatshares. For the whole of his uni career, DS shared with a bloke who not only did housework, but enjoyed it so much that he ran a sideline as cleaner for other students.

When they were in student accommodation in the first year, the worst offenders were the girls in the upstairs flat.

When we had our kitchen extended we bought multi cooker and used this for 3 months. It fries, boils and bakes. I barely missed my cooker! You plug it into the normal plug socket:

www.amazon.co.uk/Gourmia-Premium-Programmable-Function-Cooker/dp/B017HX1AEM/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?keywords=multicookers+electric+8+in+1&sprefix=multicooker&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1583444313&sr=8-6