Would you find this rude? (Open plan driveway)

[smokeyfoxtails]

Not an AIBU more ‘would you/wouldn’t you’.

DH has been getting his blood pressure up recently as we’ve moved into a new house with open plan driveways as it’s a new build estate. There is a covenant stopping people from separating them. We’re in a mid Terrace and the deeds show that only one set of neighbours have a right of access over one of our driveways (double drive). Different materials are used on either driveway to differentiate between shared and private and there is a clear boundary line between our private driveway and our neighbour’s. Tarmac is private, bricked is has ‘right of access’ with no boundary line. The right of access is so that the neighbours can get in and out of their cars and they have respected our boundaries so far. Tarmac driveway is the one being used as a regular shortcut.

The other neighbours and their visitors have been constantly walking and driving over our private (tarmac) driveway. There is no real need for them to do so as they have ample space to walk up their own driveway and can easily move their car from the bottom of their drive to get their other one out BUT it won’t bother me until something gets damaged. It’s just time saving on their part. We have CCTV trained on the driveways that record motion so DH has been getting quite het up about it.

They have no legal right of access and the previous owner has confirmed that she never gave permission for them to do so they haven’t ‘gained the right’ iyswim. The house was empty for 4 months before we bought it so I presume they just got used to using our driveways as one of their cars was parked on it when we viewed the property. DH is getting wound up saying it’s rude and disrespectful without asking us as it’s our private property. To me it’s just a driveway and I’ve been trying to find similar MN threads for different perspectives but am struggling. I do think DH needs to calm down a bit until the neighbours are at risk of damaging our property, such as scratching our car with theirs as they squeeze out. The only issue I have with it is privacy as they walk right up past our living room window and often peer in.

Would you find it rude for your neighbours and their visitors to walk/drive all over your private driveway without asking permission? I think it is a little bit disrespectful but not the end of the world!

Perfectly clear diagram. 👍🏼
Definitely a row of planters right down the middle. Nice sturdy ones, made from railway sleepers 😉

Sorry, diagram now appeared. (must control my impatience)

I would hate it too. Agree with the line of planters

So everyone on the cul-de-sac has one private driveway and one shared if that makes sense. Definitely going to invest in some nice plants hopefully they get the message. Will look at that link thank you for the help I couldn’t find much on the subject when I Googled. Like I said I don’t mind much I’d just rather them not make me jump out my skin walking past the window with their wailing children when I’m trying to relax with a after work

”I’m starting to warm to the idea they’re being a bit dick-ish!”

I agree, because of the combination of taking a shortcut and looking through your windows. The shortcut alone wouldn’t bother me, but the two things together suggest to me that boundaries definitely need to be insisted on.

Fab diagam OP

It would wind me up no end but I am petty like that

I think a very civilised neighbourly request is the starting point. Not to walk on your drive and not to block you in. Both completely reasonable requests.

Personally, I really couldn't care less if they were on my driveway provided they're not actually parking on it. But, I know a lot of people feel the same as your DH as some people on our estate have driveways that join together and one of the neighbours is getting very worked up about it.

Moral of the story is dont buy a house with shared access with neighbours on each side if you're going to have an emo fit every time someone corner cuts your little bit

I would be proactive and ask them nicely not to take the shortcut past your window. Explain that anyone walking past will naturally look in and it sometimes gives you a hell of a fright.

99% of people are nice and lovely and will think 'oh, I never thought of that - she's got a point' and say sorry and never do it again.

There are plenty of threads from people who live next door to the 1% - the Broken Britain scum / the underclass / the shit on humanity's shoe.
But chances are your neighbours are just lovely.

I'm with your DH. This is how bad neighbour behaviour starts. They will be parking on your drive next. 'It's only this once', they'll say. Then keep doing it.

Speak to them nicely first, then get some planters (either way).

I couldn’t get worked up about it and I would think someone was being petty if they moaned about me walking across it while walking to my door if I’m honest.

I’d just roll my eyes and think your a pair of grumpy old gits 🙈

Didn’t mean to put an emoji on there 🤦🏼‍♀️

If you mentioned it to me then I wouldn’t do it and wouldn’t even realise that it would piss you off. I would just think you're both miserable.

You have lovely writing, I’m jealous

I'd put a halloween type, scary amimated puppet in your window. The type that moves suddenly on movement, has red eyes that flash and is creepy! I'd add a note underneath 'STOP staring in my window'

In all honesty, I'd just speak to them to start with, then put planters along the drive.

You need to nip this in the bud now. Them driving over the edge of the tarmac will actually wear it away very quickly and then you'll end up with a horrible mess that you'll either need to patch (and will look awful) or it'll cost you a fortune to have to redo the whole thing. Your DH is not being unreasonable.

My parents have a tarmac drive and it looks a real mess, particularly at the edges, where they drive over it. It's a drive so of course that's going to happen but you only want wear and tear from your own car, not other people's!

Can you definitely not separate the drives?

It doesn't just apply to the shared ones does it?

Rude to walk so close to your windows (and on your property!) even if they didn't look in!

I think the shared driveway thing is a bit of a red herring. Get the plants.

They are being disrespectful and I feel for you.

Could you ask them to keep away from the windows “as it’s unnerving For me to see things moving and people outside my window?“ - to prey on their good nature

If not I would try leaving random things about to hinder access temporarily, bags of compost, railway sleepers, wheelbarrow, ongoing project stuff/things I was “unpacking from my car” , stuff for garden projects etc....😉

The diagonal line when empty really wouldn’t bother me at all. But going up round the car when it’s there is just weird and definitely rude.
I’d put a planter of some sort at the house end so that they can’t do that when the car is in place and to keep them away from the window.

Sounds to me like you've both taken all the stress from your last home and moved it with you into this one.

Take down the CCTV and relax. Life is too short to be that hostile all the time.

I had the same situation and it starts to grate on you after a while. Just speak to them and ask them not to walk in front of your window. It's awful feeling you have no privacy in your home.

Why would they walk InfronT of your windows instead of walking up their own drive

Just moved into a new build 4 months ago. We have the exact same problem with our driveway! Our street is all open plan, the gardens are at the same level as the road and there are no kerbs etc. Everyone's driveway just leads off the road (it is paved in a different colour though). We live in the first house on the corner - they are still building in the street so you can only go so far before you have to turn around and come back the same way). So we get 'drive-bys' all the time, people coming to look at the estate, who then, instead of turning around, reverse back up the road and into our driveway to turn around. It happens about 10-15 times a day. I've even got the Royal mail guy parking his van in my drive and then walking off to do his rounds! It is VERY clear that its a private driveway, it leads straight up to our garage door! Some idiots have even damaged our lawn (its on the same level as the road) by driving right across the edge of it trying to turn into our driveway.
I'm SO frustrated by it.

I am confused as to why they are not parking on their own driveway in front of their house if you all have your own AND a shared driveway