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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have I behaved badly

107 replies

mimp · 05/03/2020 15:00

I work for a small company think 5-6 staff. Director has been off for a couple of weeks. Business is slow at the moment. One of the guys just sat around for the two weeks and one day I caught him fast asleep. He didn't even try to look for work do those odd jobs that never get done.
Director is back work still slow and I knew he had to think about letting a couple of people go I told him about this staff member. I feel awful and I don't know why I did it but his behaviour just astonished me. The lack of any effect! He will be let go this week or next I have been told. Feel guilty but it's a bit late for that. I actually think I am a bitch. AIBU ...what would you have done?

OP posts:
eeyore228 · 05/03/2020 16:19

Wow! No wonder workplaces suffer so much. I can't believe how many people seem to excuse and find it unacceptable that this man was reported and that the OP was out of order! Businesses pay people to do a job and I find that more and more take the piss and leave others to pick up the slack. It's not ok to let.colleagues do your job and both get paid the same. This is what helps businesses fail. I have worked with too many who have taken the Mick and left men and other colleagues to bear the brunt. Sometimes enough is enough. If anyone on here owned that business they are outright lying if they said they would be happy paying a wage to someone like that because it's disrespectful and dishonest. No one would want to pay for that.

LellyMcKelly · 05/03/2020 16:21

The director would not be letting him go for having a nap if he was otherwise a great performer.

MagnoliaJustice · 05/03/2020 16:22

This situation was the line manager's, not yours, and it smacks of you throwing him under the bus to save yourself.

Krong · 05/03/2020 16:22

I would never name and shame. I would bring the issues to the attention of your director and offer support with a solution and leave it there... a good boss should know who has time to nap or not.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/03/2020 16:25

I can't believe how many people seem to excuse and find it unacceptable that this man was reported and that the OP was out of order!

She didn't report him to his line manager who was present at the time. She didn't say anything until the director confided in her and she panicked (presumably) and chucked him under the bus.

I kind of get it. You have to protect yourself. Still doesn't make her a good person in this situation

Fralla · 05/03/2020 16:26

Too many lazy cunts in the workplace getting away with it. Good for you.

This!! Well done for telling. There is always things that can be done.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 05/03/2020 16:29

Sod it. He got the chop because he was bone idle.

Why should others potentially get laid off because of a 'don't snitch' mentality? They don't deserve it.

I've been made redundant and I've got through several redundancy consultations. Apart from the need to keep yourself solvent, rather than unemployed (and believe me, I'd lose more sleep over unemployment than guilt), it should be the best workers kept on, which means management knowing who is a lazy fucker.

After all, you/they could have a fantastic work ethic, but if others are keeping secret just how shit somebody is, how is anyone to know you/the others have been picking up the slack?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/03/2020 16:30

In a small company one lazy gobshite can lose everyone's jobs.

I have worked in one and once owned one that were brought to their knees by a single employ not pulling their weight.

I suspect many people calling you a bitch haven't worked in a very small business that is walking a fine financial line
Anyone who has would have wanted to strangle the lazy bastard, as they would be able to identify what was not being done, was being pushed into someone else, the money being wasted going into this paypacket.

Basically, you may be able to hide such behaviour in a large business but it gets very much more personal in a small one!

Alsohuman · 05/03/2020 16:31

What a shit move. You’re right to feel ashamed of yourself.

Duchessofealing · 05/03/2020 16:32

I would tell and have done in the past. It might not directly impact you him doing nothing but it certainly impacts the morale in the team. It’s awful working hard and seeing others being lazy. You did the right thing.

allthedamnvampires · 05/03/2020 16:32

YWNBU. So many holier than thou idiots on here.

Vulpine · 05/03/2020 16:32

Are you the napper?! Hmm

Vulpine · 05/03/2020 16:33

That was to alsohuman

Alsohuman · 05/03/2020 16:34

Nope.

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 05/03/2020 16:38

"You snooze, you lose" 😂. Sums up the situation perfectly.

Jux · 05/03/2020 16:39

I don't blame you, and all things being equal, I would have done the same. Not bothering to bring the post upstairs or make a brew, having been a skiving goodfornothing for years - high time he was dropped.

Daffodil55 · 05/03/2020 16:44

In days gone by when I was an office worker I remember one morning after I had burnt that candle right through the night and gone into work feeling sick with lack of sleep, I pretended I was poring over a work manual and some paperwork etc. but I was really having a little nap with my eyes shut. Head in hands and deep in concentration, no one saw my eyes were shut and I got away with that for a good 30 mins, it refreshed me enough to get through the rest of the day. No other colleagues had a clue as they were getting on with their work.

No I would not snitch the way the OP did but big time and regular skiving needs addressing.

In later years and another office, a colleague was the most dedicated worker at his desk but if the boss went out for a couple of hours this guy was straight onto the internet looking at all kinds of "interesting" things. He was lucky as no work computers were linked up in those days and I guess he was expert at deleting his search history.The boss never found out.

It never occurred to me to dob him in and I still wouldn't do that.

Bloodless · 05/03/2020 16:44

You done the right thing OP. If you were my employee I’d be happy you told me.

What about karma happening to the employee that was happy to take his wage but just sit there and do no work? Appalling behaviour. People should be capable of finding work to do without being micromanaged 🙄

Isthistrueor · 05/03/2020 16:44

YANBU, you caught him asleep at work ffs.

7thlevelofthecandycaneforest · 05/03/2020 16:45

I agree with you completely and would have done the same. I wouldn’t have been able to carry on working whilst he napped though I would have had to say something to him like ‘are you seriously going to sleep whilst we are doing all the work?’.

vikkimoog · 05/03/2020 16:48

I voted wrong.
I put IABU as i read it as WIBU to have been a nasty snitch.
But you were actually asking aibu to feel like a bitch.
So no, YANBU , you were a prize bitch

Dontdisturbmenow · 05/03/2020 16:51

Mmm, you say he sat around. Well, depends what the job involves and whether he was significantly remarking himself from the behaviours of all others. As for the following asleep, again, depends if it was a one off and just dozing for a few seconds or hiding in a cupboard fast asleep for a couple hours.

Sadly, bullying by picking in one person's behaviour when not that at odd with what other colleagues do is not unusual. If that's the case, then yes, you should be ashamed.

However, if the guy was clearly taking the piss when everyone was trying to be productive and showed attitude that he didn't care whilst pretending to be committed to the boss when back, then yes, he brought it on himself.

NoSauce · 05/03/2020 16:55

Bat shit that some of you would turn a blind eye to this.

toomuchtooold · 05/03/2020 16:56

If it had to be someone, it's fairer it's him than one of his colleagues who was actually working.

I've done this - an ex uni colleague who was a total nightmare to work with, he came for an interview at my company and I got asked for feedback. I was honest. He didn't get the job. I don't regret it. They hired someone else who pulled his weight.

CSIblonde · 05/03/2020 16:56

I think you should have stayed out of it. You aren't his line Manager & 'make busy' work in quiet patches only fills a small amount of time in circ's like that. I've been asked to look into a staff member skiving & using v expensive company cars as his own car, uninsured, when he was purely site caretaker. The surplus cars were sold & the guy was warned to get his act together.