I can't park

[Jocasta2018]

I'm not entirely sure if this is in the correct section but I hope it gets some attention. I'm using the App so hopefully the voting won't come on.
I can't park. Not 'oh I'm crap at parking ha ha' but I can't park. When I did my test 30 years ago at 17, I had to learn how to reverse around a corner as part of the test and that was it. I passed first time and my lessons ended. It didn't even occur to anyone that I should learn how to park.
I lived rurally, people had big drives, there were fewer cars on the road. It was was easy to drive into a space as cars were smaller & spaces were bigger.
6 months after my test, I moved to London. I was there for 12 years and didn't need to drive once! Illness then meant I surrendered my licence to the DVLA due to certain medications. I now have my licence back and am driving again but I'm finding it difficult.
I don't drink so am often the designated driver. When we get to a place, I'll swap with friends who then park the car. If I'm on my own, I admit that I've driven up to a place and left if I can't find a space I can get into.
My friends thinks it's hilarious. Some of them learnt to drive a few years after me when you had to park as part of the test and refuse to believe that I only had to reverse around a corner. Others can't believe I learnt to drive but didn't learn how to park.
It's now a big deal. I'm 48 and I'm not even sure I'm of an age when I can learn it even with lessons. After all, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I've tried YouTube videos but I find them really confusing.
Has anyone reached this age and learnt how to park?
I'm sorry to burble on but I had to get someone to park last night and it was as embarrassing as usual.

Honestly? Stop being such a drip and do something about it.

Get lessons, as pp say. It's not a badge of pride OR shame to not know the mechanics of parking, it's just a new skill you need to learn.

Did you know how to wallpaper a wall before you learned?
Or make a cake?
Or speak German?
Or applies to you.

I am exactly the same. Never got the hang of it. Now I don’t need to drive so much as have been retired for some time. My confidence has reduced along with my usage. This thread has inspired me to get back into it as I think of what I was able to do when I was working.

I’m crap at parking too op. I passed my test 10 years ago and still not great at it. Thankfully I don’t live in a busy area so parking isn’t really an issue But I dread going further afield or to the hospital if I can’t park.. I get all anxious and google earth alternatives further away where it’s quieter. I wouldn’t cope if I lived in a city. My driving is great (I think) but my parking skills really let me down! Bizarrely I can usually get out of spaces fine just getting in them!

One skill that's required in parking is reversing whilst turning the steering wheel one way, then changing to the other, and knowing which turn will make the car move in the right direction. My instructor (my dad) got me comfortable with this by reversing in a figure of eight shape!

I can’t park. Wallpaper a room, make a cake or speak German. @BuzzShitbagBobbly I’m proper fucked. 🤣

I find bay parking easier going into the space forwards. It's much easier to get out of a space, so I leave the 'tricky' reversing to that.

I missed out on parallel parking lessons, too. Passed my test in 1983. I have around 50% success rate first time. My 7 seater is a bit big for my needs these days and the turning circle on it is shit, but I really can't justify buying a new, smaller car until this one starts costing me too much money to maintain.

A huge amount of the work for parking is starting from the right place. That's something you need to practise until it becomes automatic. Get lessons to learn it and practise like mad. Supermarkets at night or industrial estates at the weekend are good.

I'm a similar age to you OP, and had exactly the same problem!

We had some building work done on our house last year, so couldn't park outside it for 6 months - I had to parallel park across the road.

The first few weeks were awful, but I improved quite quickly and now can get into such tight spaces that I struggle to get out again!

A car with a reversing beep and camera does help loads though - you can also get cars that do the whole manoeuvre for you (as I'm sure lots of others have mentioned).

Definitely get some lessons but see if you can get someone to recommend a driving instructor. My first driving instructor kept telling me it's just a feeling, I can't teach you to park. I ended up crying in the driving school after a really bad lesson and the boss changed my driving instructor. The new one was brilliant and taught me how to park properly, exactly when to turn the wheel etc.

Parallel parking - I was told to quickly angle the mirror on the pavement side down so that you can see the pavement approaching - this gives you a much better of idea of where you are and when to start turning the wheel.

I can park really well now and it all started off so badly with the first driving instructor.
A small car helps though - I can squeeze into loads of tight spaces in my Corsa. It was much more difficult in my ex's large estate car.

I have a car that does the steering itself when I need to parallel park. I can do it myself, but I enjoy the technology. (And the car does do it better. My skills got rusty after moving to London as I don't need to parallel park at home or at work, and anywhere else I go the options are either a car park or nothing, parallel parking places almost never an option.)

What age were you when you stopped having the capacity to learn new things, OP? I'm a bit concerned as I can see 48 from here and learning is my favourite thing.

I think the main thing is to practice (with a friend, an instructor, or alone in a big space), and to know you absolutely can learn this. If you get yourself convinced you can't learn it, you won't be able to learn it.

Seriously?

Just get some practice. Slowly. And some lessons if you really want to throw money at the problem.

And always reverse in to parking bays. It is by far the safest way to park - which is why many workplaces will only permit reversing in.

You need to practice practice practice.

Have you thought about going to a large supermarket carpark later in the evening when it is near enough empty and practising there?

Also on YouTube there are loads of helpful videos you can watch about parking.

Good luck

I am lousy at kerbside parking and parallel parking. I have an automatic with a reversing camera. It is not the solution but it helps. You can even buy cars with self park features these days. You don't need an instructor. There are good video tutorials on youtube. You can find an empty car park or low-traffic road and practise by yourself.

Oh bless you OP. I was the oldest of my friends and amazingly passed my test really quickly but I was a shit driver! My cheeky friends would take the piss even though I was the only one giving people lifts anywhere! Then I met DH who at the time lived on a very narrow street where cars parked bumper to bumper and I had to get good at parking or never see him. A lot of trial and error ensued. I agree with PPs - get a couple of lessons. Then come back with a diagram of how well you’ve parked your car 😊

Get lessons then practise. It's not a magic trick. You've got some sort of mental block about it and getting others to park for you isn't doing you any good. Focus on how much easier your life will be when you can park where you like. Find somewhere quiet to practise and break it down into chunks. You need to be able to manoeuvre a car anyway so it's all part of that.

Really, you can do it. My parking hasn't always been the best. Then I moved somewhere where I have to parallel park on a narrow road with no pavement and brick walls either side. It's utterly unforgiving and midway you're bound to have traffic coming towards you or behind you that cannot get in until you're in the space. Oh, and it's on a hill, to add to the joy. I learned to do this and whilst I still don't enjoy it, the sense of achievement for something seemingly trivial is massive. And I'm the same age as you.

I agree that reversing cameras are a liability when parking. The only thing they are good for is enable you to get very close to the car behind you when you're already in a space.

My current car was the first with a reversing camera and it took me a while to realise that in most reversing manouvres the camera doesn't tell you enough and is a distraction from the things you should be looking at. You still need to see all the things that you can only see by looking over you shoulders, and if you look at the camera as well you won't be paying enough attention to the things it doesn't cover.

I think my reversing camera increased the danger of reversing for me, until I learned to stop using it most of the time.

I agree that just buying a lesson is the best way forward.
When my DC passed their tests, I insisted they all had a post test lesson on the motorway. Well worth the extra hour.

Definitely take some lessons. Honestly it will make so much difference to your life - I mean you have to park literally every time you use a car! Industrial estates, especially on a weekend, are perfect for practising.

Op-

Firstly you are not an old dog! You are young dog compared to many.

Secondly, you can teach any aged dog new tricks. Our brains retain the ability to form new connections into very old age. It just might take more practice.

PPs advice re finding a good instructor is great!

Good luck!

Get some lessons. You’ll be fine.

You would never be able to park where I live. It's all parallel parking with tiny gaps.

Either go to a quiet car park and try and crack it or get some lessons.

People who can't park and take up multiple spaces drive me to distraction.

Also bear in mind that even people who can park often get it wrong, try a space and find they can't get in it, misjudge, and/or have to drive away and find another space. You don't have to be perfect at it.

I find it very hard to understand that in all this time you’ve never tried to learn.

Have you studied for the theory test or hazard perception test?