To be frightened of aging?

[malificent7]

I work in hospitsls and care homes and the elderly keep telling me not to get old!
Tbh i din't blame them...it scares me the way the body and often mindfall apart.
So how dies one come to terms with getting old and a failing body and also how can we keep healthy in old age?

One does not come to terms with it.

One firstly remembers to be thankful that she ages at all, many sadly never have the chance.

Than one launches a counter attack, adopting healthy habits to stave off physical and mental decline for as long as possible. Regular exercise including cardio (gentle jogging) and resistance (lifting weights), flexibility (yoga etc), healthy diet and maintaining a healthy weight. Make a list of things to learn and work through it. Cultivate an active social life. Drink water, wear sunscreen, take vitamin D in the winter.

Not everyone gets to my age. I am lucky to be alive at all. I will take responsibility for my ageing as much as I can.

There are so many variables my Dad is nearly 78 and very healthy,fit and active and goes cycling etc ,he's my mum,s carer who is also nearly 78:and she's very physically disabled ,she has an inherited condition that has affected her in later life

You see all of the worst in the caring professions. Most people don't end up like that and millions of elderly people are managing very well at home.
You get used to it gradually and your mindset changes the ilder you get.
When I was 20 the thought of being 60 was horrific. Now I'm the working end of 60 I'm not bothered, I have matured mentally and changed my views on lots of things.
I do my best to keep fit and well.

I know how you feel OP. Staying as fit and healthy and as active as you can is all you can do, and hope you don’t develop any conditions that typically affect the elderly. I have to say as well I also feel that friendship and families help. Being socially active. Not only does it prevent loneliness but also engaging in conversation and laughing is so good for mental health.

Well Photo I am old, doesn't really bother me, not much I can do about it anyway, but I don't smoke, drink alcohol and try to be sensible with my diet. I do moderate exercise. I don't really feel my age (pushing 80), I have been well blessed in life.

As early as possible get your health sorted out. There's a thread on here asking if two glasses of wine a night to relax, is bad. When someone suggested meditation instead, it was met with a yawn.

But look at the health, in old age, of cultures that do limit bad food and alcohol and practice things like meditation, yoga, tai chi etc.

I had a relative in his 60's after cancer and a stroke, who has turned his health around by signing up for the NHS triathlons. He's featured on their posters. He has set himself on a path to age well.

I'm also on a vlcd forum and I'm forever telling young women to not do the 600 calories a day diet, for their bone health.

Stay engaged with society and if possible, your community. I think i do that via childcare for my grandchildren. I'm adding in voluntary work after September.

Get your news and opinions from different sources and challenge right wing thinking. Keep your critical thinking skills active.

I used to be anti HRT until I went to a NHS Health Seminar on ageing. It's turned things around for me. So keeping up to date with current knowledge is important.

Always have goals and interests and try to keep flexibility in your thinking.

You don't your blessings and remember the (only) alternative is considerably worse.

You also start to challenge ageist assumptions

Yes, some diseases may be more severe, yes others are just more common as you become older.

But that's not all of life. Though I think this is where self-fulfilling prophecies come in - if you expect to decline, you probably will because that's how you think you ought to be. OTOH, if you expect life to continue to be amazing, you'll probably find it continues to seem like that

I had to ask my mother who has dementia to stop telling me "don't get old" as if I have a feckin choice. It's hard enough seeing her getting frail but to have her telling me not to do something I have no control over drives me mad.

You count your blessings

(sorry)

The best way to be healthy in when older is to give yourself a head start and be healthy when you are younger, i.e. don't smoke, drink moderately, keep to a sensible weight, get the right amount of sleep and exercise, and eat a good diet.
In my head I am around 30, but actually I am over twice that age. I have a few minor problems but life is generally great. I have also developed an appreciation for the little things in life, like the birds singing, some early primroses - yes, I am that mad woman who talks to herself and can be heard muttering 'Oh how lovely' or 'just look at that'; but I have got to an age where I don't care if I am overheard.
My brother had a terrible lifestyle. We all used to joke that he wouldn't make old bones. Well he didn't, and died at 49. I would give anything to have seen him grow old - the alternative doesn't bear thinking about.

You can improve the odds by adopting a healthy lifestyle, but ultimately it is in the lap of the gods when our number is up. It's like being on the motorway and seeing a sign saying that there is a hazard/car crash ahead.

All you can do is change your mindset, so that you live in the present and squeeze the joy out of each day. We all have a lifetime, whether it be long or short, and it is up to us to make the most of it.

Nearly all these 'how to be healthy' tips apply whatever your age.

That's why my first point is to challenge the ageism. Expect that all the activities you enjoy now, you will continue to enjoy.

If you need a lifestyle clean up (eat better, exercise more, be involved in your community) then you need it for now. Longer term spin off is a plus, but not the whole reason - life could all go horribly wrong next year - still worth making changes to improve however much time remains ahead of you

You don’t have a choice. I’m not much enjoying it, 62 this year so hardly old yet and living a healthy lifestyle but definitely noticing the difference. It takes longer to get over things, some bits will never work as well as they did, having to adjust my lifestyle to accommodate the inevitable changes eg eyesight, mild arthritis in one foot. On the up side life is much easier without small children and with all my acquired knowledge; i am semi retired and have plenty of time for my hobbies and interests, the mortgage is paid off and finances are predictable and easier.

That said, I’ve written my Advance Decision and don’t want to live much after 85.

As other posters said, it does help to maintain a healthy weight, don't smoke and drink in moderation. However, even if you follow the rules, it is very much the luck of the draw. I know someone who followed the rules and she died age 42 of cancer. Yet I knew a smoker who was 40 a day and she made it to 94.

I used to be anti HRT until I went to a NHS Health Seminar on ageing. It's turned things around for me. So keeping up to date with current knowledge is important.
I used to be on HRT until I had Breast Cancer. I was told immediately to stop taking it when the BC cells tested positive for Oestrogen and strongly positive for Progesterone.
In hindsight, I wish I'd never taken HRT.

I’m going to try not to be a miserable old fucker so that I gave friends and my family want to see me

So that my friends and family

I don’t want to get old, as in frail and disease ridden.
All those saying the alternative is worse....I really don’t think so.
My view on care homes - is that they are really nothing more than waiting rooms for the graveyard. Yes, that’s is cold, but it’s the bleak truth.
I’m more depressed about being a burden to others than I am at the prospect of dying. With death...it’s game over....goodnight!
Being kept alive in old age scares the hell out of me. I’m on my way to 60 now, so my best years have passed and nothing but misery awaits....for me anyway. I’m fed up of working...absolutely sick of it...it is a complete waste of life.

After watching my mum battle dementia for 10 years and ending her days in a carehome. I have a massive fear it will happen to me.
I would hate dd having to deal with that.
My mum always told us if we ever came into her house and found her dead in her bed NOT to be upset ( at the time i used to think it was a terrible thing to say)🤣🤣.
After watching her decline over the years and eventually not know us she was right.

My lovely Mum (now gone for 20 years) used to tell me not to get old. I used to reply "shall I just die now then".

I don't think anyone longs to get old. All we can do is try our best to keep fit, eat healthily and not dwell on it. We get older from the day we are born. It is inevitable. Worrying about it changes absolutely nothing and may even make things worse.

Nearly everybody wants to live a long life but nobody wants to be old.

I think the only thing you can do is take good care of your mental and fysical wellbeing and hope for the best. And I heard that green tea can help to protect the brain from Alzheimers.

I remember now that there are so called blue zones in some places on earth where people grow very old in good health. Perhaps read into some of their lifestyle choices. I remember Mediterranean diet being one important factor.

All these threads about being healthy and fit are good .However both GC died at 95 No illnesses , having eaten a cooked B/F every morning for 50 odd years ! Not advising anyone to do likewise obv! My DM would also tell me not to "get old " No choice there really!" a positive outlook helps I think ,and my DG used to say she may be old, but didnt want to mix with a lot of "old people "" DPIL the same ,still driving when he was 90 !

I feel exactly the same ParkheadParadise I'm 66 now and very scared of what the future holds for me and my husband.

Lots of good advice on here.

I'm just in my 70s now. I don't drink or smoke. Eat very healthily and try to keep active, both in body and mind. It's really all you can do.

A lot of it is down to genes. I don't expect to live into really old age as I come from a long line of people that tended to die in their 70s possibly early 80s if they were lucky.

I know someone though, who is in the lower half of his 90s now and is still pretty healthy. He's still living in his own home, still tends his garden and walks to get his newspaper each day. His mother lived till almost 102 and died very quickly - her body just sort of shut down, it was a very good way to go.

Keeping your critical thinking 'muscles' healthy, as pp suggested, is very important, that, and not becoming a daily mail reader, or a watcher of rubbish day time television.

Keeping your mind young and open to new ideas will make you willing to do more new things, and learning new things is vital to keeping the mind active.

You can't stop yourself getting old, but you can stop yourself mentally 'sinking' into old age.

Physically, it's not so easy, sometimes our health is out of our hands.