To be frightened of aging?

[malificent7]

I work in hospitsls and care homes and the elderly keep telling me not to get old!
Tbh i din't blame them...it scares me the way the body and often mindfall apart.
So how dies one come to terms with getting old and a failing body and also how can we keep healthy in old age?

What are the alternatives?
Die young or stop worrying about things you have no control to vet.

Live well, exercise, eat healthier, staytrim and active, you’re less likely to suffer in old age if you’re healthy now.

Make sure you don't start to see yourself as a victim. If you age with the thought that 'Oh I'm getting so OLD and ILL and VULNERABLE...' then yes, your dotage will be pretty shit. Life's what you make it after all. Ask for tips from some of the more active elderly people you might meet and I'll bet they tell you it's all about staying active, having a good laugh and using your brain.

OP I just really hope to die young. I hope to retire early and plan to drink a lot.

My mother is 82 and in medical terms considered to be quite well. In real life, she can barely walk ten minutes without being exhausted. She is constantly bored because she is so limited in what she can do.

My father died at 79 and he was lucky in that his daily activities weren’t hit till he got cancer. Out of the two of them, I feel already he’s been the lucky one.

Mums family have a tendency to last till 90, mostly bed bound.

Ideally I’d like to retire at 50, enjoy a few years and any time after that is fine.

The other thing mum has, in her age group, the conversation is all illness and death. Luckily she has younger friends but they are obviously less available because they’re working.

One other thing, you don’t have to take all the pills they give you.

I think mum would stop her heart meds but thinks she can’t leave me.

Oh, and the number of medical appointments my mother has is astonishing. Well, it’s probably normal for her age.

But I’ve spent my life with health issues and really dread how much age will affect them.

My mother is almost 80. She has a very active social life. We have to schedule visits with her to make sure she will home and not off looking at gardens with her friends. My mother is slim and eats well. She was a smoker but quit ten years ago. I can only hope to be in such good shape at her age.

What you do is don’t worry about it, stay as fit and healthy as you can, make the most of life, don’t wish your life away.
My DM has advanced Alzheimer’s and is only 69.

I think weight is definitely a factor. Most of the long living old people I know are slim.

I turned 60 last year, and tbh, I don't really feel any different than I did at 40. I'm not particularly active, but I have recently given up both smoking and alcohol, with a view to staying healthy in the future. I get outside most days, exercising our dogs, but I've never been one for running or jogging. I eat whatever I like (not processed stuff though, because I don't like it), and probably too much of it, as I'm
carrying some excess weight, but meh, it doesn't bother me.

I play computer games, and D&D, my interests are photography and making bath bombs, we paid off our mortgage years ago, and I don't need to work, thank Gawd! My darling Dad died last year at age 91, and consequently we're (that's the husband and me) about to have a bit of an inherited windfall - so plenty of exciting things planned for the future - house renovation, holidays, all the things we couldn't afford until now. Life is good, and I'm not worried about what's to come - we'll either stay healthy or we won't - but if I end up in a care home, just stick a laptop in front of me and I'll happily game myself into oblivion (no pun intended).

I realise how lucky we are not to be beset with health issues - neither of us have done anything to 'earn' that luck - we've both been big drinkers and smokers in the past - but the aforementioned father was drinking white wine on the day he died, and gave up smoking at the age of 90 because he had a short hospital stay and they wouldn't lety him have his cigars (no shit Sherlock!).

No one knows what's to come, but I try to live my life as though I'm immortal - until fate proves otherwise, of course!

It’s hard to predict what will upset you as well. My mother was never vain, but she now finds her appearance very upsetting and depressing.

Ooh! Well, I’m 50 this summer and still feel/act like I’m 27! I was saying to my husband today that I don’t like all this “adulting’” we’ve had to do recently. (Car fixed, dogs to vets etc) I don’t mind it at work because I’m paid for it! My Dad died a few years ago and my Mum had a stroke 10 months after but she has the best and most positive attitude, which really helped her recovery. She got a new boyfriend at the age of 76 and ‘feels like a teenager again!” How fantastic is that! I’m thrilled and slightly jealous!
Live your life, whatever it throws at you . It’s you choice how you react. Easy to say, I know but, where you can, have a laugh and a smile and ..love. :-) (.. or read the Daily Mail. Oh, I do that too sometimes. Wow. People are mean!)
None of us are getting out of here alive.

I'm 32 but have a degenerative genetic condition and I have arthritis and some other issues usually associated with older people. It also affects my memory which scares me a lot. I think if my body is like this now, with bones that apparently look (and definitely feel) like the bones of a 60 year old, what will I be like in 20 years or more time. I've also started to fixate over my face looking young... I have my first wrinkle and I am obsessed with it. I am thinking of Botox which seems ridiculous to me. I know lots of people do it and that's fine but it's not something I ever thought I'd worry about. Now I have this feeling like I need to hold on to my youth on the outside to make up for the inside or something... Sorry that probably doesn't make much sense and the whole post is very me, me, me.

I think I'm the only one who prays for dementia

@Leaannb
Can I ask why?

Leaannb why?
It’s such a cruel disease.

“ I think I'm the only one who prays for dementia”

Um, why? If you have things you need to forget, dementia will probably keep those memories and Chuck the rest.

I’m frightened of being so elderly I’m infirm, I’m also frightened of things like dementia. I’m not frightened of just being old.

YABU either we age or die still young(ish). I’ve known enough people who will not age to prefer age, warts and all. Yes, some aspects are terrifying but still.

I am middle-aged and hopefully have many years ahead of me, but I wanted to comment on the being thankful that you are alive point made above. When I was younger, people my age dying was unusual and felt divorced from my reality. Now I have reached the age where more people in my circle are dying and of natural causes. It really has brought home to me how lucky I am to be the age I am, rather than worry about getting older.

My mother will be 90 in a few months' time. She's in excellent health, has just undergone bowel surgery and is making a slowish but good recovery, is completely fine mentally. Never smoked, drinks rarely, slim and active - walks all over the place. Since my father died two years ago she's reminisced more, but got to grips with internet banking, paying bills, holidaying alone etc very quickly.

Crucially, she doesn't see herself as old. She refers to "elderly people" who are much younger than she is, because they are less active and seem more helpless. She would admit that she's very lucky with her health but also thinks nothing of getting a ladder out to paint a wall (which can be worrying). She does crosswords and plays Words with Friends every day - which I think really helps her cognitive processes.

You just concentrate on enjoying your life, stay busy, stay interested and stay social.

My dad died younger of a terrible disease. It makes me just want to live life to the full.

As per the comment upthread, think anyone who prays for dementia doesn't understand what it brings with it. It's more than a bit of memory loss.

you do what you can to minimise the risks. You ignore any advice that starts with 'I heard' or anything from an unqualified celebrity, A list or Z list.

you set up wills, power of attorney and advance directive. And you join the campaign for assisted dying so that those of us who do get unlucky do not have to suffer.