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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed at colleague re flexible working

104 replies

ThatsNotMyCherry · 04/03/2020 11:42

I’m a parent who has returned to work from maternity leave and I’ve had a flexible working request approved (1 day working from home). I know my boss doesn’t really like it but he’s accepted it. My bosses boss has recently decided to let everyone wfh a few days a week as staff morale is low and a few people have asked for flexible working. A colleague who is a good friend was recently aggressively attacking the idea to a group of us (including our boss) and I felt a bit upset as she knows I do it and would really appreciate more flexibility if it became available. Another colleague who I’m also friends with joined her and starting saying how ‘ridiculous’ people who want to work flexibly are. AIBU to think it’s a bit insensitive?

OP posts:
MrsDrudge · 04/03/2020 11:45

It’s nothing to do with anyone else except you, your boss and line management. If the needs of the company are met by you doing the work at home I don’t see a problem. I think your colleagues are BU.

Original poster
ThatsNotMyCherry · 04/03/2020 11:50

That’s true. I guess it also annoyed me that my boss was there and said nothing. I know he’s never liked it though and that is probably why my colleagues don’t like it either.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 04/03/2020 11:52

So it's being offered to all?

And your friend thinks this is a bad idea?

ChicCroissant · 04/03/2020 11:54

They can have their own opinions on the subject OP, just because it's something they don't want to do doesn't mean it is an attack on you so try not to take it personally.

It can be difficult when morale is low generally, at least the company have noticed and are taking steps to improve it. Who knows, if a lot of people take the option up it may make them rethink.

Original poster
ThatsNotMyCherry · 04/03/2020 11:55

Yes it was requested by junior team members but it’s being offered to all and she thinks it’s a bad idea. My colleagues who are against it and who I’m friendly with are all in the senior team like me.

OP posts:
saraclara · 04/03/2020 11:58

I think they're allowed to express an opinion. It would be ridiculous if workplaces operated on people not expressing an opinion on strategy because a colleague might take offence.

Pumpkinpie1 · 04/03/2020 11:59

I think flexible working actually increases productivity and moral as long as there are rules that are adhered to

foodandwine89 · 04/03/2020 11:59

Your friend sounds like an arsehole and ridiculous. This is quite nasty behaviour. Also, why would he not want more flexibility? what are his reasons?

fluffyrice · 04/03/2020 12:02

In my experience, those managers who oppose flexible working/WfH are generally those who are badly organised and terrible at delegating. A couple of my previous bosses were in the habit of a) needlessly over-promising to customers (eg- we'll do it overnight) and b) not delegating until the 11th hour. Unsurprisingly they were not keen on anyone in the team working reduced hours or from home as this would have made it more likely that their crap management would have become obvious to THEIR bosses.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/03/2020 12:26

TBH I'm surprised they're so against it if it's being offered to everyone, and more to the point if it works for the company

So the obvious question is DOES it work for the company, or is it just something the junior team members quite fancy in lieu of proper child care?

IntermittentParps · 04/03/2020 12:30

Nod and ignore, or get up and walk away if you can/if it becomes hard to take.
They'd piss me off too.

jackparlabane · 04/03/2020 12:39

Working from home does need a bit more effort from managers. On the other hand if it means people stay longer in their roles and they don't need to recruit as much, then that's a big win.

Could you discuss how this could work - it should really help retention of young talented staff as most employers offer it now so don't want to be behind the curve, ensure it says in contracts that when working from home, you can't also be doing childcare, unless in an agreed emergency, suggest monitoring and seeing if sick absence goes down after six months because people can work from home a bit and also avoid infecting everyone else with their cold, etc.

Basically address their concerns - but if they are never going to be happy because their hairdresser's friend's cousin had an employee who took the piss working from home, then just give up and ignore...

user1493413286 · 04/03/2020 12:42

Why would people be against it? I’ve seen it work really well and it does a lot for staff morale and retention. They don’t have to make use of it if they don’t like it

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/03/2020 12:50

I’ve seen it work really well and it does a lot for staff morale and retention

So have I, but I've also seen it turn into an absolute farce when those who've insisted they have proper child care actually have no such thing, and then everyone blames everyone else when the arrangement has to be cancelled

Which is why I asked the reason for the objections, and whether WFH is likely to work for this particular company

Krong · 04/03/2020 12:55

So have I, but I've also seen it turn into an absolute farce when those who've insisted they have proper child care actually have no such thing, and then everyone blames everyone else when the arrangement has to be cancelled

Then it's management handling it badly - it should have to be cancelled for one person, but treated as a privilege that gets revoked when abused.

Krong · 04/03/2020 12:56

*shouldn't

BlingLoving · 04/03/2020 13:00

YABU to think it's insensitive - they're allowed opinions and it sounds like this opinion is about flexibility for everyone.

They ABU because quite honestly, why would you begrudge flexible working instead of embracing it?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/03/2020 13:06

Then it's management handling it badly

Sometimes, yes - but equally it can result from staff being less than forthcoming about home arrangements

I do agree about the "privilege which can be revoked" thing, but single one person out for this and just wait for the screams and timewasting threats about tribunals Sad

annamie · 04/03/2020 13:07

Wfh ‘a few days a weekend ... sounds great, how many days a week? Sounds like people could take advantage so I can see why your friends are annoyed, especially as it’s often parents who are allowed to WFH.

annamie · 04/03/2020 13:07

‘a few days a week’

adaline · 04/03/2020 13:10

Why would people be against it? I’ve seen it work really well and it does a lot for staff morale and retention

Because some people massively take the piss, and if you're surrounded by people who use it as a way to save on childcare or whatever, then it can get annoying.

Of course, it's down to management to police that and deal with it effectively but I can see why some people don't like it.

TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 04/03/2020 13:15

So she shouldn’t have said what she thinks, for fear of offending you?

Popartist · 04/03/2020 13:18

Unfortunately some people are set against flexible working patterns and are unlikely to change their minds. I worked in an organisation with very flexible working until a new CEO came in who systematically made it harder and harder for people to work flexibly. She was big on presentism. I also worked PT for another organisation (the role was advertised as PT and I worked the hours they specified) and received feedback that it was difficult for other colleagues when I wasn't there. Sometimes I think FT workers feel hard done by as they think those of flexible patterns have it easier but it is a real shame as it shuts people out of certain jobs unnecessarily.

Original poster
ThatsNotMyCherry · 04/03/2020 13:20

There are no parents in the team except for me. I have full time childcare arrangements but wfh helps with sharing drop offs and pickups with my DH

OP posts:
JustInCaseCakeHappens · 04/03/2020 13:24

There are allowed to express an opinion, and back it up with facts if they want to stay professional.

I think they are nuts, it has nothing to do with being a parent or not, I love working from home!

Some people just can't, they are staying in their bed too late, not getting dressed, getting distracted by tv, meeting friends for coffee, faffing around, or just using the "work day" as free childcare... these are the ones who spoil it for everybody.

You don't like to wfh? Then .. don't. As long as the offer is the same for every staff member, and you are written on the calendar as wfh (so you don't get forgotten as people get used to seeing you in the office), who cares.