Why do some people feel the need to say they are the best

[Donkeykong20]

BIL always has to say he has the best car, everyone else's car is crap.
His wedding is the best wedding ever, and he got more for less money than anyone else.
He has to tell everyone constantly about his high salary etc etc.

I can't understand why he feels the need to do this constantly . We all have different tastes, so would never pick the same things anyway.

I used to ignore it, but am really annoyed since yesterday because I found out he has been lying about others to make his situation look better.

I just can't understand it and really think I need a smart comment to reply when he next starts talking crap to me

My ex husband was like this. If we went to a friends house and they had a new gadget, he would have the better version within the week. He was constantly in competition with our male friends (although it was mainly with himself as no one really reacted to his games) it was exhausting having to constantly listen to his boasting. I honestly think it was because his penis was on the small side. Not a problem for me but he was always bothered. Maybe that's this guys issue OP 🤔

Inferiority complex.

They're very insecure and need to pull others down to the level they fear they wallow in - so if they fear they will be perceived only good enough for a 5 year old car, they'll have to get a brand new one with bells and whistles JUST so they can prove they're superior.

They're the only ones who care of course and everyone else can see how daft they are. If you pull them up on it you'll be labelled as jealous.

I think it's a case of having a massive chip on their shoulders and so they try to make themselves feel superior. I know someone like this who is not only like this about material things (like holidays) but also always seems to get the best possible treatment for medical issues. So no matter what ailment he has, he will have been seen by the top consultant and given superior treatment to everyone else.

I just feel really sorry for people who are like this. How awful it must be to not be able to find your own internal happiness and instead constantly rely on other people being impressed by your possessions in order to feel good about yourself. I'd hate to be like that.

Perhaps just respond with "that's nice" and internally congratulate yourself that you don't have that urge to impress people and as a result you're probably much happier and much more content than he is? Or if you really can't stand to not comment: "I prefer experiences over possessions, personally".

Because we are

Insecurity.

Insecurity or an ego issue.

It's one thing to acknowledge or be excited that you've got the most up to date item on something you really like (eg one of my friends is like that with cameras because they love photography) and quite another to have the need to talk about how every material possession you have is better than everyone else's.

I think it can stem from having little in way of material things and money early on in life.

We have a friend who talks about money and possessions etc we call him 'Tim top that topper'

I've not heard anyone saying stuff like that ever before. What does he say? Literally things like I earn lots of money? How goes he fit that into the conversation?

Ask him if he's going to Elevenrife on his next holiday

My SIL was like this. Had to be the best at everything, in reality she’s a shit parent who neglect her kids, house and animals and In the end I went NC with her as I couldn’t stand it. People who do this are insecure or trying to hide their real reality.

@Raffles1981 🤣😂😂😂

Insecurity. I agree it sounds weird because people like this come across as supremely arrogant. But its all a cover up for the fact that deep down, in their psyche, they simply dont feel good enough and that people wont like them. To cover this up, they brag and brag and brag, hoping that material possessions will impress people and show them they ARE worthwhile and they are good enough. Its a defence mechanism to protect them against their worst fear which they feel might just be true and that is- they arent actually that likeable, they dont have anything interesting to say and they dont think theyre worthy of love.

When you peel back the layers of the onion, its really quite sad isn't it?

The ppl I know who are like this are completely insecure and haven't had the best upbringing ie parents who have been emotionally vacant.

It's similar to the type of person who recounts tall tales where they were wronged but the put the wrong-doer in their place and everyone in the vacinity gave them a standing ovation.

*but they put

Low self confidence

Husband had a friend like this. His friend from his teens did have a pretty poor family background and was supposedly always the same way - Material things and showing what he had (along with what he said he had but never materialised). He did have some lovely things and I was pleased for him for coming from his background and affording things like a new Mercedes - good for him. But it became blatant that nothing was ever good enough for him or his wife who also saw beauty and happiness in material things like designer bags etc.

They married in an average venue, nothing seemed expensive at their wedding, they lived with her parents (but said they owned a property which was rented out) and all sorts of things were just average. They ended up having twins and sadly split not long afterwards because they were still so worried about what they looked like that, in my eyes, they didn’t care about what the other one actually needed emotionally.

Donald Trump, anyone?

I'm not sure it's entirely down to not having much growing up, Dp grew up in incredible poverty and homelessness but he is the furthest thing from this, charity ships loves a bargain and couldn't care less about the latest doohickey.

I agree it's about insecurity though, always makes me feel sorry for them, can you imagine how it must feel to feel like you are less because someone has a better phone or car? Urgh not a mindset I'd like to live with.

Also incredibly irritating because they have to announce it every two seconds and seems to come hand in hand with needing to tell you why it is the best.

People do it on here all the time. “My DH earns a six figure salary etc etc”

How nice but no one gives a fuck

I’m with @Rosalo — what does he actually say? He literally opens his mouth and says ‘I have the BEST CAR! Hyuck hyuck, your car is CRAP!’ and ‘I earn £200,000 — don’t you wish you were me?’

@Shakermaker8, there’s a huge difference between saying your husband earns six figures on an a thread about social class on an anonymous Internet forum, and your BIL sitting in your kitchen boasting about his salary, wedding and car. No one, as you say, goes a fuck on the internet, and there’s a strong possibility it isn’t true anyway, but surely someone boasting continually to family understands it makes him look pathetic and insecure, and pisses everyone off?

It does. I agree. Anyone who talks about money or material goods in this way is just a bore