Why do some people feel the need to say they are the best

[Donkeykong20]

BIL always has to say he has the best car, everyone else's car is crap.
His wedding is the best wedding ever, and he got more for less money than anyone else.
He has to tell everyone constantly about his high salary etc etc.

I can't understand why he feels the need to do this constantly . We all have different tastes, so would never pick the same things anyway.

I used to ignore it, but am really annoyed since yesterday because I found out he has been lying about others to make his situation look better.

I just can't understand it and really think I need a smart comment to reply when he next starts talking crap to me

I feel like you are describing my sister and my husband's sister. My own sister moved to the States sometime ago and ever since then, all I hear from her is how amazing everything in the States is. When she comes to visit me, apparently, our public toilets are disgusting, it's not convenient not to have a Starbucks on every corner, the shop assistants aren't helpful and rude, blah, blah, blah...

I can't stand it either and always feel the temptation to tell her to f* back off to America if everything is so bloody amazing there!

Don't worry about it. It's just their way of navigating the world. It's not yours. That's fabulous!

They are, absolutely. Which is presumably not their goal in boasting, though. What effect do they think they’re having?

If someone sat in my kitchen and kept telling me his salary and how much his car cost, I’d be much more interested in why he was doing it than in how much he/his car/his wedding cost.

The family I know like that it was instilled in childhood. Their father was materialistic and only gave love/approval if the children were “successful” and needless to say his idea of “success” was £££. They’re all still (in their 30s and 40s) trying time prove they are loveable by showing off how successful they are. It’s horribly sad.

I get that it’s their way of navigating the world — we all have them. I occasionally remind myself in my head that I have a PhD when I’m facing into something intimidating I’m not sure I can manage. But I don’t dance into family gatherings saying ‘I’ve got a PhD, aren’t I just brilliant? You’re probably really thick in comparison!’

Both because it would be untrue and deeply tiresome for other people.

I agree with you actually mingvase I've got no problem giving myself a pat on the back for my achievements especially when I am facing something intimidating, I think it's a good skill to have to recognise to yourself your own achievements.

As you say it's the competitiveness and the need to tell the world that outs these people as insecure. If they think they are that amazing why do they need validation from anywhere else, like you just said....give it to yourself.

@Rosalo

It could be in any context, talking about anything and he finds a way to turn it back to him.
E.g. you'd be having a normal chat about the kids or something in general and he'll say "See my car, it has x and y and z and is way faster than your car and has all the top spec it possibly could"
It's just really bizarre and inappropriate.

O I must ask him if he's going to elevenerife😂😂

Or if someone got something, it would be very common for him to say "That's shit, I have xx and it's way better" but that's only really a matter of taste anyway

I'd say it was most definitely insecurity, but absolutely love the suggestion of the cause being a tiny penis.

Chuckling away to myself like the mature grown up that I am!

Braggarts are the worst - it’s usually either insecurity or having a big ego. Some people are like “look at me, aren’t I fab?” because really they know they’re life isn’t that fab and they need validation, others I think really do think they’re the bees knees!
I have lots of things in life I could boast about/post on social media etc but that isn’t me at all. A friend once told me how modest I am and it was the biggest compliment! I abhor show-offs.

Does he have generally poor social skills? I used to have a colleague who did this on a smaller scale -- she would ask about something random like your phone contract, and then tell you at length why it was crap and bad value compared to hers, ditto your commute or mortgage or whatever.

I found her enormously tiresome, but I genuinely think in her case that she simply had very poor social skills her spoken English was not fluent, either, which may have contributed and just thought these things were appropriate topics of conversation.

While the rest of us heard a dull woman banging on endlessly about how much better her phone/flat/contract/annual leave was than yours, she apparently thought she was engaged in a lovely collegial conversation about something of general interest.