To take teenagers phones off them overnight on school nights?

[sweetkitty]

Said teenagers are 15 and 14yo. On school nights we take their phones off them at bedtime. We actually found out DD1 was sneaking spare phones into her room and using them SIM only so now I unplug the modem and take it to bed with me.

If we don’t they would be on their phones/iPads all night until 2-3am at least. How are they supposed to get up and function at school the next day?

We have a compromise that on holidays/weekends they can have them overnight.

Apparently no one else does this we are far too strict etc etc. From speaking to other parents some take them away some trust them to self regulate. Mine won’t self regulate and will stay up far too long on them.

I know there will be a point 16/18?? when I’ll have to trust them to self regulate as they will be adults and if they stay up too late they will suffer the consequences the next day.

So AIBU?

I say you continue. Mine are just 13 and 11, but I don’t allow phones/PlayStation etc after 6pm (bed at 8 to read), as the research shows blue light affects sleep. As a nation we totally underestimate the effect poor sleep has on all our functions

All phones have to be downstairs by 9pm in our house (incl teens) and they are confiscated for 2 weeks if they are not in their place from then until 7am the next morning. They can then blame me for not being able to "join in" at night - teenagers need someone to blame when explaining stuff to their peer group (much easier than saying they have decided to get some sleep).

The point of self regulating is to... self regulate!

That means getting the balance right between having your phone and getting healthy amounts of sleep.

While ever they are up past midnight on their phone- week days and weekends alike - then they do not have the maturity to self regulate.

So you parent instead and have a phones-out-of-rooms deadline every night.

I have a 15yo DD and 14 yo DS. Phones on charge downstairs as they go up yo bed at 10pm

Mine are 17 and 15 and their phones stay downstairs and they are in bed for 10/10:30pm. Nobody needs Snapchat/Instagram/WhatsApp/Whatever beeping away all night.

Yep, my DS14 has to leave his phone and iPad downstairs charging when he goes up to bed. Stand firm OP.

Absolutely do it here too - mine are 17 and 16 ,😲. I'd expected rebellion by now, particularly from the older one but they've never questioned it! ,🤣

Ours aren’t allowed them. Dds boyfriend (15) has all sort of health problems, exhaustion, poor concentration. Had all sorts of blood tests etc then GP asked about screen situation. His mum finally decided to take some responsibility , took his phone, and guess what? He is miraculously cured.

YANBU and I would do the same if I still had DC that age.

I can imagine they would be pissed off though but too bad

We do too
That thing is dinging into the early hours presumably from friends,he does need it week nights

Doesn’t need it obvs

Yanbu

My son has to bring his phone downstairs at bedtime (10pm) he is 16. We did give him a chance last school year to "self-regulate" but he did not and we caught him on the bed in the early morning hours. He only needs to do this on school nights.

Yes all phones downstairs by 8.30pm. Until they are not going to school in the morning it will continue. Weekends are 10pm.

This is also a fire risk because of someone sneakily charging their phone overnight etc.

You are being a responsible parent.

On the phone obviously, not the bed haha

Yep my boys are 13 and 14. Phones out of their rooms at bedtime - usually 9.30/10.
Doesn't apply at weekends/holidays.
I caught the oldest sneaking an iPad in during the week by just leaving the empty case behind but I got wise to it and swooped

Mine have parental controls on their devices and they stop working at their bedtimes. I can and do also control the home router by MAC address of the various devices that connect, and stop them getting internet during the night

The DC don’t have any reason not to put their phones at the family charging point, and it’s never been a battle as we’ve done it from day 1

I have two DSC and when they're staying with us we have a rule that when they go to bed both have to leave their phones downstairs. Otherwise they are on their phones at all hours of the night, as I've found when they're not with us.
I noticed my DSD was on Instagram at 1.30am the other night, she wasn't under our care. I messaged her to see if she was ok and she replied saying she couldn't sleep (bless her). We had a quick chat and she said she was going to read her book and try and get off to sleep that way.

I have a 15 year old DD. Her phone is left downstairs every night before she goes to bed. Including weekends and school holidays. iPad and laptop also live downstairs. She doesn't need any devices overnight. She struggles to settle down to sleep at night and knows that having any screen in her room would make it worse. She also says she's glad she can't be 'on call' permanently for all the dramaramas teenagers have.She loves her kip.

I've got the phones on a timer, so they automatically switch off 8.30 to 6 30. I can override it if necessary.

I don't feel bad. Phones are addictive and they need their sleep. My kids are still young though

I also have a timer switch off if they use the phones for more than 3 hours, but they've never reached that limit.

Me too! I confiscate all phones, tablets, laptops, console controllers/switch at 8:30 and lock them in my room until 7am. Any sneakiness (eg putting an old/broken phone in the current case) or breaching the rules mean I keep the lot for a week minimum and they get the 'grounded' phone. They hate it!!
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Sorry-- dc are 13/14 and parental controls are useless once they know how to bypass them

Yep, my ds is 12 and screens go off at 8pm and stay downstairs out of his bedroom. If he sneaks on them, I will pack them up and remove them from the house for 2 weeks. He knows this because I have done it. 😁

Yep we do for our 15/16 year olds and ourselves. It will continue through Alevels until they leave.

It always amazes me when parents actually believe their teenagers that they are unreasonable over computers/ phones.
Of course your not, you do what you think is right. And if it's different to other parents or the kids don't like it, then tough.
Your kids your rules.
Whether they see it now or later you are actually doing them a favour by instilling rules.
Always remember that some parents give their kids anything for an easy life. You don't want to be compared to these parents.