To be going to bed straight after the kids every night?

[BabCNesbitt]

Two DCs, youngest has just turned 3. They’re usually in bed by about 8 each night and when DC2 is finally asleep, I get into bed and crash out because I’m exhausted, every bloody night. I get up at 6am and work four days a week, but DH is great and does equal shares of getting the kids ready for school/nursery and ready for bed, and does most of the cooking too.

I went to the GP a few months ago because I was feeling so tired and bleh all the time and apparently blood tests showed that everything was fine but that my iron stores were a bit low (told this by the receptionist over the phone, no figures given). I’ve been taking Holland and Barrett iron supplements since then but I’m still bloody knackered all the time. Is this just normal for a mid-forties woman who gets up at 6am? Or WIBU to pester the GP again for more tests or something like that?

I feel this tired sometimes but I do have severe anaemia. How's your mental health at the moment?

How are your vit D levels? Are your thyroid Hormone levels mid range or borderline?

I would go back to the GP for more tests if you are sleeping that much and feel so exhausted.

You might be feeling exhausted due to lack of self care and putting your needs first. Would also urge you to look at getting some exercise into your week and also look at your diet. If getting out of the house to exercise feels too much, look at starting with yoga at home (Yoga with Adriene on You Tube is brill). I've recently started with Les Mills on Demand and have built in a couple of Bodystep and Dance workouts per week into my schedule.

Do some research into lifestyle medicine, all about changing you routines and habits to make you feel better rather than taking drugs. Dr Chatterjee's advice is brilliant, he has a few books out but you can also access his podcasts for free/on You Tube I think too.

I was doing this for a long while, putting ds down at 7 and then going to bed myself about 8..up at 630..was constantly tired. Changed my sleep pattern so i go to bed about 10, whilst still tired somedays i find the tiredness lifts amd i dont have that feeling of being constantly drained so would agree that perhaps you are getting too much sleep. It does take a while to change your sleep routine but i have found thay im doing a lot better with new routine..

Sorry if someone’s already mentioned it and I’ve missed it, but I’d suggest you get bloods done for your thyroid function. The fuzzy brain, feeling cold and extreme tiredness can be symptoms of under active thyroid.
20 years ago when my dd was about 3, I couldn’t sit down without falling asleep amd for a long time ignored it as being a working mum of a toddler. I had blood tests for and the result was under active thyroid

No idea about thyroid levels or Vit D levels - guess I’ll ask about that.

Sorry but that doesn't sound normal to need 10 hours sleep a night. I'd go back to GP.
It's not a competition but FWIW I have a 5 and almost 2 year old. Both DH and I work full-time and we are up at 5.40am every week day. It can be tiring and constant but completely manageable. We go to bed at 11pm.

My kids have flown the nest, I am mid 50's, I work full time - 40hrs a week and need 9/10hrs sleep a night.

We are all individuals with different needs regards how much sleep we require.

When my kids were younger I would be in bed after they were put to bed - 8.30/9am. My youngest was up at 5.30am.

Op think about how much you do in a day especially working full time, running a house, young dcs .... It all takes it toll.

How do you sleep though ? I mean do you wake up during the night at all.If you do then you wont be getting 10 hours straight IFYSWIM. What about weekends ,do you tend to sleep in at all (not easy but does DH let you have a lie in)This can interfere with sleep patterns through the rest of the week .Also do you drink a lot of coffee/tea during the day, as this can affect Iron levels as well .The hour goes forward soon which means if you could make it to 9 and wake at 7 you may feel a bit better.Young children are tiring and you are working on top as well .Is there a chance of maybe cutting your days to 3 perhaps?

I was like this. Finally diagnosed w vitamin D deficiency (despite always having taken a a multivitamin) as well as anaemia. Dont just accept that "that's the way it is" until your doctor has checked everything.

Perimenopause and busy life sound likely.

But OP, it’s not a good idea to take supplements, especially mineral supplements, without advice from a dietician or a doctor who knows about nutrition I mean a real NHS one, not someone who calls themselves a nutritionist. Taking a supplement of one mineral can unbalance your levels of others.

I’d go back to the GP and ask for maybe hormone tests to see if you’re starting perimenopause.

But tbh, your 6am starts and busy life would wear me out too. You’re wise to go to bed early.

If they haven't tested your thyroid, please go back.
I was diagnosed with Hashimotos which causes under active thyroid, we just had my step daughter to stay on Saturday night and I'm still recovering (it's Tuesday night here) from her keeping us up from 2-5. I feel like I'm jet lagged with brain fog, I function but everything is in go slow.

Agree @letsdolunch321. I’m mid forties as well and work full time with two teens. I’m often in bed at 9 for a 6am start midweek. I find that if I don’t sleep well, eat well, do some exercise I’m not at my best to do my job and manage family tasks. It can be a lot of work and I’ve found as I’ve got older I have to look after myself more with a balanced lifestyle.

Magnesium helped me with sleep, need to give it a couple of weeks to work. I was monitoring mine through Fitbit.

THYROID. You must get it checked. If you cant face the GP then you can do it yourself with Medichecks You need TSH and an thyroid antibody test (the GP will try to get away with just doing the TSH).
Also Vit D, Magnesium, Iron and Ferrous stores and B12.
Then a complete blood count and if you want to be very thorough a glandular fever test
You should insist on getting a written record of the tests and then keep it as having a baseline is really helpful if you ever need the tests again in the future.
If you post your test results on here, there is lots of educated help

You may be perimenopausal. I started at 46 I think, but it can be earlier.

It is exhausting having young children, it won’t be forever OP, do what you need to at the moment.

I'm 31 - no kids yet, but am up at 6am 5 days a week and i'd be in bed by 9pm most evenings in the week! And still I struggle to get up in the mornings haha

Had blood tests etc done as well - but all came back fine!

I can't imagine how much more tired I'd be if I also had children in the mix!!

I've felt like this once before, pre children. I was needing a nap after work to get me through til bedtime 😂 and I went to the GP and had blood tests, they said everything was fine - I went back a couple of weeks later had another blood test done and my vitamin D levels were really low so I was put on supplements and felt better really quickly!!! Turns out the first time they just checked my iron and B12.

Also, could it be the seasonal deficit something or others (if someone could help me with the name 🤦‍♀️) do you feel like this all year round? Or do you feel better in summer?

I’ve been having this, plus have recently developed lactose intolerance. I’ve pretty much been ill since Xmas.

I did that but mine always got up in the night, climbed in bed etc so not unbroken sleep. I'm typically in bed 9 hours now but I do generally wake 1-2 times, at home the dog often wakes me, if I'm at dp's and he wakes it wakes me, the joys of being older - needing the loo in the night! Being a parent is tiring but if you are sleeping 10 hours solid that is concerning, if you have an activity tracker (eg Fitbit ) might be worth monitoring your sleep, you may be very restless

I was exhausted all the time a few years ago. Confident I wasn't anaemic as I could run and cycle but instead of feeling energised by exercise, like I used to, I spent the whole time daydreaming about lying down and sleeping. GP tests didn't show anything but a friend suggested I try Vit D (much larger dose than in a multivitamin) as we live in the NW of UK and studies suggest we're all low. I've been much better since and take it all year round.

Thyroid definitely sounds like a possibility so get it checked but if it shows nothing I'd try the vit D.

@HappySeven did you have colds etc? I might try vit D.

All the symptoms for under active thyroid fit bar gaining weight. I thought weight gain was one of the main symptoms. Does this mean I don’t have a dodgy thyroid?

I think what you’re feeling is just what it’s like to work, raise a family, run a household (even with help from your Dh) have any kind of social/sex life, visiting family, being the family taxi, secretary and everything else.

I never saw 10.00pm when my family were little. I’m now late 50s and think anytime before midnight is early to go to bed.

I think you’re doing the right thing, going to bed as early as you can, hopefully you get at least one day of the the weekend to enjoy a lie in.
This too shall pass, much like night feeds and teething.

Sorry I have no miracle cure, although I did find exercise helped when I was in your shoes, I went to the gym three mornings a week (I still do) and i found the exercise really helped to recharge my batteries which sounds counterintuitive but it still works. I’m lethargic if I miss gym, full of beans when I work out.

Another person saying get your thyroid checked. And get the actual figures, not just 'fine' if that's what the GP tells you. The threshold for normal thyroid numbers in the UK is higher that other countries where a borderline result would be treated.

Re check for thyroid
Under active thyroid makes you feel very tired