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Original poster

Fed up with toddler obsessed with food

58 replies

Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 20:29

Not his fault I know that but I can’t cope anymore now.

3yr old been obsessed with food since about 15 months.

Eats well three wholesome meals and snacks and fruit.

Wherever we are he wants food and begs all day long. If we are at a party he reviews the food and won’t play. Soft play we can’t go anymore as he grabs strangers left overs.

When out at meals will have a tantrum to eat other people’s plates while they are mid meal. Can’t go to most playgroups anymore as they have food out and he just asks for more more more more.

We don’t give sugary snacks as it seems to make things worse. He is on 95th for weight looks slightly chubbier than average but not obese.

Tried giving more protein at snack time (already eats balanced meals not fussy enjoys veg etc) made no difference and possibly worse as just wanted more cheese all the time.

HV said carry on as we are and let him scream once it’s gone but I’m drained now as food is everywhere we go.

OP posts:
Original poster
Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 20:35

First thing in the morning asks for food, tries to snatch brothers food every meal time.

OP posts:
marreb · 02/03/2020 20:38

@passthedyson my girl is 21 months and exactly the same!

Curiosity101 · 02/03/2020 20:38

I'm pretty sure there are genuine medical conditions where people are hungry all the time? I know he's only little but it might be something worth looking into?

If he was just whining / whinging / tantruming whilst you were out and about I'd wonder if it was behavioural. But based on him actually trying to eat other people's food and leftover food it sounds like there could be more going on.

Not sure if it'd mean much but how much milk was he drinking before you weaned him? And did you up his bottle size every time he drained the bottle? Or did you use other cues?

Original poster
Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 20:54

@marreb it’s so tough isn’t it. I’ve never met anyone else with this issue in real life and they all say I’m lucky to have a good eater.

OP posts:
Original poster
Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 20:57

HV said it’s common but I was thinking of going to GP. Not sure if they would do a blood test based on behaviour. He will eventually stop eating when full but takes a huge amount. Wants to keep the food he has left on plate for a while messing around before finally giving up.

Biscuits / cake I’m sure he would never stop. He grabbed handfuls from the tin when out at groups and I had to remove him.

OP posts:
Napqueen1234 · 02/03/2020 20:59

@Passthedyson my DD is 2.5 and exactly the same. Top of the centiles and obsessed with food. Worse as they get older and get invited to toddler parties with buffets as she just hangs around them the whole time. All you can do is distract distract distract, set very clear rules of meal times and not give in inbetween. Have you read the Ellyn Satter approach? A book called ‘managing your child’s weight helping without harming my really helped me. It’s exhausting and makes me want to stay home as it’s easier to manage there.

Wannakisstheteacher · 02/03/2020 21:03

My 6 year old is like this at the moment. It's exhausting. I find my self feeling disgusted by how he wants to eat all of the time. Last night we were having supper - sausage and mash - I had a phonecall, so left the room for about 2 minutes and he ate my entire meal as well as his own by the time I got back. Then about 20 minutes later he was crying saying he was so hungry.

Original poster
Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 21:04

Thanks will look at the book I’ve not heard of it. Yes we stay at home a lot more now as he is not very active either even at the park asks for snack :(
I’m getting worried about nursery and not making friends due to this behaviour it puts other children off playing as he wants their food.
I don’t want him to get an issue over food but I have to say no because it’s excessive.

OP posts:
Tunnocks34 · 02/03/2020 21:05

You would know if he had Prada-Willi syndrome. It isn’t just wanting food and actually that part of the syndrome doesn’t kick in until the child is a toddler - it’s often detected due to poor muscle tone and feeding difficulties in babies so I wouldn’t really concern myself with that.

I would just say to him he can eat what he wants. When he wants as long as it is x,y or z. We do this with our 6 year old whose always starving. So fruit, vege, nuts, he can eat as and when he wants.

What we found was he was saying he was starving because a lot of the time he was hoping for something like a biscuit or he was thirsty and getting confused.

MrsClutterbucksbaby · 02/03/2020 21:09

My 2.5 year is a bit like this too. It can be really embarrassing as as soon as another mum opens a snack for her kid at groups then she's over there begging and she's always first at the snack table and eats everything she can get hold off including the other kids leftovers! The first thing she asks for at someones house is a snack and she will take food off our plates if we let her. I'm sick of people jokingly asking if I feed her at home.

I'm treating it as a behavioural thing at the moment and trying to set clear boundaries with her behaviour around food and distract as much as possible although that rarely works.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/03/2020 21:14

Does he ate anything and everything or is he screaming for junk?

Original poster
Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 21:17

He will eat anything but the biggest tantrums are for junk. Maybe fussy about a handful of things that he will leave. But will also tantrum over fruit and if I say it’s not tea time yet after he’s just finished a snack.
Asks for seconds every meal and pudding. Totally drained now.

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 02/03/2020 21:19

Can you give a run down of a typical days food for him op?

SavoyCabbage · 02/03/2020 21:19

Pick one food, like a banana, and only ever offer him that outside of meals and he has to eat it at the table or somewhere else where he is sitting down.

Don't make him finish the snack and don't talk about it. If he says he is hungry five minutes later, give him another banana.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/03/2020 21:20

I ask because maybe there is a real hunger issue.

My 2.5yr old will always scream for a biscuit or juice or ice cream....pretty normal I’d say. But if he genuinely wolfs down copious amounts of good protein and veg and is still hungry/ combined with not being active I’d be a little worried. How’s his development been overall?

pleasecalmdown · 02/03/2020 21:20

To stop going anywhere because of this it is an over reaction - they're difficult taking out anywhere at this age regardless and at least yours is only asking for food and not rejecting it !

Juanmorebeer · 02/03/2020 21:26

My daughter is like this, she is 8.5 now and it is a nightmare. Honestly she would eat from the moment she wakes until bed if you let her.

She has always been like this since toddler hood.

She has never been overweight however is VERY tall for her age. It has got to the point that I think she is getting slightly 'big' for her frame. Still a healthy weight but I am actively giving lower calorie foods now and limiting sugar massively since Christmas.

For her, I really do think it is often boredom, or thirst. I try to get her to have a drink before she is allowed more food. She mindlessly snacks, now she is older she just helps herself now too so it is much harder to keep an eye on.

I'm telling you this incase others come on to give you good advice then take it and get control of it now, because it makes me miserable. I'm not worried for her health but the tantrums and brattyness over food grinds me down every day.

Original poster
Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 21:35

@Juanmorebeer sorry to hear this. I know that he will be like this for good it’s a total personality thing. Our family are all good eaters but no one has ever been like this from this young. I don’t want to start hiding things or limiting food otherwise worried he will binge eat when older.

OP posts:
Original poster
Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 21:41

Fruit upon waking and coming downstairs, one piece only asks for 2.
Breakfast: wheetabix/ eggs on toast with Avocado / porridge with berries/ Greek yoghurt with nuts and fruit

Snack: cheese and crackers or banana or veg sticks with humous. Always wants more tantrum to have more crackers.

Lunch: anything an adult would eat, stew / mash / rice / curry / chick peas/ pasta bake with veg/ salmon and veg noodles

PM wants fruit and a snack as above.

Dinner; what we have. Today was chicken & veg stew a whole drumstick with sweet potato wedges and spinach had a tantrum for toast. Begged for more food an hour later. Had pudding of banana peanut butter and yoghurt. Wanted more banana said no more after whole one

Has cup of semi skimmed milk also twice a day.

Eating every hour.

OP posts:
whattodo2019 · 02/03/2020 21:46

I would go to your GP and discuss this. It could be something he will grow out of or it could be an over eating disorder.

Original poster
Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 21:47

If we are out he will have packed lunch instead sandwiches crisps fruit veg sticks raisins etc

OP posts:
Nitpickpicnic · 02/03/2020 22:01

That seems an enormous amount of food at that age. Well done you for keeping it so healthy, it’s definitely extra work and stress.

I think you’re right to take him to the GP, and insist on not being fobbed off. Write down the daily/weekly food diary to take with you. It tells the story better than you can, to a science-minded person.

I suspect you’ll need to be firm and persistent, we mums often get patronised over these things. It’s assumed we're fussing over nothing, rather than being intelligent women who know their own kid and have been around others long enough to tell something isn’t right.

For comparison, my kid at that age would have eaten maximum 1/3 of that quantity (of the same things). She was on the ‘birdlike’ side of normal. There’s a wide range of ‘normal’ but the outliers need to be given attention. Good luck with it.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/03/2020 22:02

Does he drink much water?
Not that it would make a huge difference but why not whole milk?

FortheloveofJames · 02/03/2020 22:07

I agree with the above poster that said you’d know if he had Prader-Willi syndrome. It would definitely have been picked up by now due to the low muscle tone and developmental issues it also brings. The need to eat comes later. However, this does sound extreme given what he’s eating on a day to day basis, so I don’t think it could hard to take to the doctors to rule everything out.

If the docs come back that everything is okay, then as you can see a few people already on this thread have already said their children are also the same so it clearly can be stage they go through. Doesn’t make it any easier for you though, it does sound tough. Maybe the docs can point you in the write direction for additional support or go back to the HV and push for more help to deal the behavioural side of it

Constance17 · 02/03/2020 22:23

How much water does he drink? Is he thirsty? Lots of liquid between meals may help.

Is it worth getting him to help with making up his lunch box/ meals, packing it all in a little rucksack. Suggest you also do the same. Visual is there, knowing what has been made/ packed cannot ask for anything else.... wondering if you have open plan living too so lots of time spent in kitchen seeing food and near lots of temptations may get little minds thinking of food....

Must be so difficult, hope you get the help you need