To ask if you enjoy time with your children?

[ShadowMoonlight]

I’ve NC as this is obviously a contentious.

I love my DS (2 1/2) and he brings some fun to my life but mostly I just find it a dredge.

When he was born I found it incredibly hard in a way I didn’t expect. He didn’t like being put down and would cry, which meant someone was always holding him. After 4 months of this we moved to cosleeping until he was 2. As I also breastfed for that amount of time, I had very little sleep.

Now he sleeps (mostly) very well in his bed but I still find him hard work. I actively look forward to work to get away and don’t know what do with him on my days off with him (I work part time).

He’s a sweetie and mostly (!) well behaved but he can be very clingy and I just don’t want to spend time with him and feel terrible about it. And his DF (we’ve very recently separated) is hands on so I’m not with him round the clock but I still don’t find our time together enjoyable. Just more of a chore I need to fulfil. It’s definitely better than it was at the baby stages but I still find it miserable.

Please tell me it becomes better with age! Do you enjoy spending time with your child(ren)? I want to feel that surge or excitement people feel and I just don’t have it.

Some days I love it and others not so much. Depends what's going on in other areas of life and also whether my two are arguing or getting along nicely (3.5 and 5).

One on one time with my 5 year old is especially nice now and I know it'll be that way with 3yo too around that age.

I loved being with mine but I'd never judge people who feel differently.

My husband much preferred it when our son got a bit older. He still put in the hours when he was little though.

Mine is 2.5 and I've spent the whole weekend wondering if I can leave him on the steps of a church in a sealed box for some other sucker to deal with.

Life feels like one very long tantrum interspersed with periods of heavy whining/whinging for snacks/throwing stuff in fits of pique.
I swear he's trying to kill me, why else would anyone be so bloody horrible ?

I'm clutching desperately at the thought that he'll grow out of it but I'm not harbouring much hope.
I think I've birthed a rotter.

So the answer to your question is,
No, not right now.

I think it can also depend on how much time you're spending with your children.

If you work a fair bit then that evening time is really valuable; but if you're with them all day that can make a massive difference.

It does get better with age.Ds is 6 now and I found it was more enjoyable from 4 onwards

I love spending time with ds.

He is six now and I work but I nearly went round the twist as sahm when he was a toddler.

I'd practically throw him at dp when he came home from work.

Hang in there op, small children are hard work, it doesn't exactly get easier, but it becomes a different (more easy for me personally to deal with) sort of difficult.

I have 3 year old twins, it's mostly hellish!

I love them to bits hut they are loud, incredibly loud, they haven't got to grips with listening properly yet, they bicker often, they are constantly noisy and very whiney.

I love them but bloody hell it's tough!

There are many moments of pure joy and there are many, many hours of hard work. It does get easier as they get older. 2 1/2
is so hard, other than the first three months, it's probably the peak of near impossibly hard.

Grit your teeth through the trying/crying times and relish the moments when the sun comes out and they are so cute and perfect that your heart could burst.

I think it’s a good point about getting out. Due to the bad weather we are in more than we are outside and I know we are both happier walking round the local woods or lakes.

It is really reassuring to see that most people feel like this. He is incredibly affectionate but the constant ‘come play mummy’ on our days together is exhausting.

I enjoy mine more and more with age. They can be hard work still but are either teenagers or nearly teens and they can be great fun. Things that made the toddler years bearable:

Going out a lot and giving them a run.
New places one day, old faves the next.
Going out with friends with similar aged kids.
Ignoring the bad praising the good.
Remembering they have emotiins like you. If someone was constantly telling me what I was doing without warning/with reasons I couldn't understand I would get upset and shout.

It gets easier promise!

@Syrinx89
Yeah, yeah. Rub our noses in all your childfree glory!!!

OP, it is boring and, as PP, said 'groundhog' in the early years. For me it got better after aged 7. Now my DD is 10, she's my partner in crime! We travel abroad together, watch movies and stuff our faces on the sofa, read together, go for meals out. It's definitely more enjoyable now. (But, by no means, perfect--I get attitude, arguments and moaning galore but it's manageable).

I adore my babies but found until ages 5/6 yrs, the playing with them an absolute endurance fete. It is boring. A turning point was when I could read stories I enjoyed (e.g Harry Potter) to them and when they went to school and could tell you about things, discuss ideas etc. I think I have enjoyed every age better than the last so far.

I do, didn't so much when they were toddlers.

I enjoy them much more from about age 3/4+, they're just so much more civilised.

Still can be hard work and tedious at times.

I have DS who is nearly 3. I miss him when he’s not around (eg nursery) but as soon as I have him back I crave ‘me’ time.

I play with him but most of the time I don’t enjoy it. I try to encourage solo play but I often feel guilty when I’m doing my own thing.

It’s a mixture of being bored and repetitive and feeling constant guilt when you just want to zone out from toddler play.

I absolutely adore him though and he is just a joy but no, I don’t particularly enjoy role playing with his paw patrol cars. He constantly asks me to play with him though and it is draining.

It gets so much better from age 4 in my opinion.. you can reason with them more for a start, and can actually enjoy normal outings like cinema/swimming/eating out with them without it being a chore. Hang in there!

I dislike babies and toddlers. With every passing year I enjoy/ like my children more. I have always loved them. But as they age I enjoy their company, which, being truely honest, I didn't when they were little little. I enjoy conversation and wit not baby talk and chatter

I really try to make an effort throughout the day to spend at least 30 minutes individual time and a joint game. It is an effort though. I remind myself they are only DC once, I'm conscious I need to lay important foundations it is tiring.
I am bored too, fed up on the constant groundhog day of it all at the moment.

I think it gets better with age. Although MIL says I'm now at the best stage (DC are 12, 10 and 7) and it gets worse when they are teenagers which is slightly worrying because DhH and his siblings were 'good' teenagers who didn't go off the rails and didn't argue lots (unlike me).

So this week for example DS (7) spent the entire time wanting to play either chess or cluedo (a lot more interesting than playing 'shops' like when he was younger) and he did parkrun with DH, DD2 and I had a lovely trip into town together to sort out her WBD costume and she made lunch yesterday and DD1 and I watched the latest Doctor Who together this evening and she put away the supermarket shopping this afternoon. Oh, and the entire family watched 'The Goes Wrong Show'. They are quite happy to not spend time with DH or I for large stretches of the weekend. Preschoolers are very hard work and need a lot of repetition which is very dull but you reap the rewards as they get older. Hang in there!

For the most part I love spending time with my DD. She really is such a sweet little thing and is joy personified most of the time.

There is of course the monotony of parenting that can be challenging and the tantrums/teething etc. which can get exhausting.

I’m in work most days so she’s at nursery so only see her for a few hours a day during the week and do really miss her. Weekends are spent doing activities as staying in the house would drive me mad.

There are times I enjoy it and others when I am wishing away the hours until their bedtime.

Definitely enjoying it more as they get older. I’m just not a baby person and I’m ok with that now but used to wonder what was wrong with me at first.

Kids are hard and all that “cherish every moment” bullshit is through rose tinted hindsight spectacles. When you’re in the trenches doing it, it’s hard.

Glad to have found this thread.

DD is 4 and she's great but I really struggle with playing with her. I don't know why and I hate myself for it... but I will do most anything to avoid playing.. my husband is so much better at it, and I can tell he loves it and so does she... always laughing.
I just wish I could get over myself, sit down and play with her.

Mine are older now. DS1 is 26 and we were a two some for many years so are very close, we go on holidays just us and although he lives 250miles away now we message all the time and always planning the next holiday. Ds 2 and DD are 16 and 12 and are at the age where they don’t really want to spend time with their parents. But they are so easy now, very lucky both very well behaved and don’t give cheek / back chat. When they were babies / toddlers I really enjoyed how they loved spending time with you / cried when you left the room but going on holidays and days out with a toddler was a nightmare. I still have memories of walking round a hotel in Tunisia when DD was 16mths old. It wasn’t a relaxing holiday.

All parents are different, and all children are different, OP.

I thought mine were pretty dull as babies (loved them, obviously - though it took a while to bond with DC1 due to traumatic delivery).

I thought they were magically, supremely, brilliant as toddlers. I used to wish I could bottle Essence of Toddler. I was/am a SAHM and while some minutes used to feel like hours, it was the happiest phase of my life without doubt.

I wonder a bit if it was easier to have two toddlers close in age, rather than just one. I tended to find them more demanding on the rare occasions when I had one of them on their own.

I liked them perfectly well when they were primary school age.

They are now older teenagers, and I am not enjoying this phase. Actually, the oldest has been a perfectly nice teenager (unlike the younger ones), but I still find it all a bit tedious. The only good thing about teenagers is that I can go out without having to take them with me (though the oldest is nearly 18 and he in fact often wants to come with me ).

I miss the bizarre randomness and innocence of them as toddlers.

Other posters would say that teenagers are brilliant, though.

I find them amusing until about 4, then it’s a bit of a grey area for me and now my eldest is approaching teenage years I’m definitely finding her more interesting again.

I struggle with imaginary play/making up stories etc. I’m happy to be silly or dance but do find it difficult to maintain interest. But I have that with adults too

I remember finding both of my children very difficult at times, often when I was tired or had money worries or just felt that I wasn’t doing a good enough job.
We had some wonderful times, some ordinary times and we had lots of fun, but I do remember occasionally just wishing I could walk out of the house and be on my own for a while !
I even on occasion resented their dad for being able to leave for work every morning to spend the day with adults, not toddlers.
Now they are grown up I reminisce fondly and wish I could go back there to fully appreciate every single moment but it just doesn’t work like that because when you are living through it, it’s often bloody hard work and can be exhausting.
I think you should not be so hard on your self and recognise what a great job you are doing, remember nothing last forever so try to hang on to the good bits.