My adult child has been sectioned any advice please

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I would really appreciate some perspectives please.
Please please be kind, I don’t mind hearing I’m wrong but please be kind
I won’t give details because it is not about me per se but my child has been sectioned under s2.
What can I expect since they are over 18.
Are not eating or drinking.
My child has asked me not to visit.
We have an otherwise good relationship no big drama. They moved away and mental health got worse.
Is visitIng more than once a day in hospital too much. I was trying to be supportive and show I care. They don’t want me to. I am torn because of their mental state I would hate for them to feel abandoned. Staff have encouraged me to visit and to take food today but she asked me not to visit.
Any advice please ?

If your child doesn,t want more then once aday then don,t. Can you phone them? Just let them know your their for them. Perhaps this will enable them to get the help/support they need.

I would say stay in contact with your daughter via phone initially. Is it the first section she's been on ? Be aware they can decide to move to s.3 via an assessment again which is up to six months not 28 days.

Ah OP, take a squeeze.

They don't want to see you and that's fine. They need to think of themselves and not your obvious distress or attempts to be normal/jolly.

Do a bag for them with nice treats and things they like to do. Some nice comfortable clothes maybe. Let them lead you. Let them know to ring when they want and maybe ring the ward every couple of days to let them know you're still around.

Your child has asked you to not visit.
What does your child’s doctor want you to do?

@nouef Yes first time
She lives 5 hours away from me. I took a week off work to be with nearby. I feel bad leaving her with no one to visit this week so thought I’d see her whilst I was here because I won’t be for long. I need to get back for work.
But I can see it’s too much, just the staff where saying yes come and see her.

That’s it Cake I don’t know because my child has asked me not to present I don’t know what to expect. The doctor didn’t say. They are having a MDT On Monday but she will say she doesn’t want me there. Fair enough but I thought as the nearest relative I would included ??? Should I expect to be ?

Thank you gamer ... yes I am putting together things to take her.

Thanks for your advice June

I think you should be available, but not push it. Take things to hospital but don’t force her to see you. Send regular texts that don’t demand an answer. Hope she’s on the mend soon

I wouldnt push it. If shes only asked for a weekly visit then I would do what she wished.

I’ve not been sectioned but have had many admissions. I tend to segregate myself at first. It can be just too much to cope with visitors. I don’t ever allow my children to come. Have they been admitted before? Psych wards can be terrifying, noise and generally difficult places so regular texts might well help. Even if you drop off a bag with supplies/food/perhaps some flowers at the ward. Just make sure there’s nothing with cords in (hoody/pyjamas/bag handles).

I would drop by once a day while you’re there, taking some food and maybe some magazines etc. If she doesn’t want to see you then just drop them off and leave without a fuss. Probably she will be willing to see you at some point.

You need to ask the nurses about your attendance at the MDT. Possibly they’ll say not to attend but will want to give you a phone update and hear your views so they can share them with the team. Possibly they will ask you to attend as the nearest relative.

Is your daughter asking to appeal the section?

I’ve been there but with my sister who only had me - no other relative around
She did the same and said I wasn’t to visit - she had several sections and this was most common immediately after a section
I found it very difficult but stayed away - but each time without fail when she was a little better she did ask me to start visiting her again - so my advice is to wait and see.

Regardless of what the doctors advise in my experience it’s not necessarily good to go when you’ve been asked not to - they feel control is being taken away already and this is the one thing they feel they CAN control for now

I wish you all the best OP - it’s such a difficult situation and especially when it’s your child no matter what age

My father was sectioned.

Your child has only just arrived. I reckon give it a couple of days, no pressure from you, and they will be begging for a visit.

A good friend of mine was sectioned recently and didn't want to see people to start with.

I don't know if this helps, but the things she wanted were: knickers, sanitary towels, slippers, shower gel, shampoo, lip balm, hand cream, clean clothes and soft drinks (the unit wouldn't allow cans or glass bottles, so plastic bottles only).

Thank you so much for responding with your views and experiences.
Sleepy
I hope she doesn’t appeal, can this be blocked ?
I see what you are saying smiler... I will be 5 hours away when I go back to work and thought I’d try whilst I was here. But it’s too much for her, I see that now.
History . Beautiful and testing thank you.

I was sectioned 2 years ago and really upset my family as I didn't want them to visit. We are very close but I found it really hard to have visitors in there. It's a very bizarre feeling. Message and gifts/cards from friends and family meant so much to me but other people being there physically was very hard. Keep reminding her that you love her and will help however she needs you to. Sorry you're in this situation OP. It was hard being the person sectioned but it's only now I can see how terribly hard it must have been for everyone on the outside too x

Couldn't read & not post - really feel for you in this situation. I can understand being torn between being there and them requesting you're not. How awful. As other PPs have said - a bag with essentials and maybe some nice things (favourite scent hand cream, soft tissues, favourite sweatshirt, book). Hope things go well at her meeting tomorrow.

The distance is such an issue - I can see that when you have work and your life so far away it’s even more difficult
My advice would be to try to take it a day at a time - when you return to work try not to worry about what you will do when she needs you and wants you and you are at work. Try to cross that bridge on the day she asks for you. It’s possible you’ll be able to see clearer by then.

Talk to your managers. Depending on your financial position maybe each Monday on unpaid leave for a few weeks to allow a long weekend? Or depending on your job is remote working possible for a few days?

I know it’s not sustainable to do a 10 hour round trip every weekend but again try only to think of the next one you’re planning - not beyond that
For now remember they’re in the best place and hopefully getting the help they need
I wish you both well

That must be incredibly distressing for you. Try not to take it personally. Could you send her letters and once every few days send something nice for her - nothing expensive, but just nice toiletries or a jumper or something like that? Something to say you love her and miss her.

My son was sectioned as a child so different but I agree to respect their wishes as far as not doing harm. So keep contact but let visits slide for a while - make sure they are always an option

Looks like good advice here. I can only offer thoughts and best wishes to you both

She's just had her freedom taken away, refusing visits is about the only control she has over her own life right now. We all need to feel we have some control over our lives.

Big hugs OP. I'd listen to her and not visit and tell her to call if she needs anything.

Hi OP

Sorry to hear about your family member and the difficult situation you are in.

It might be helpful to have a look at the 'Factsheets' section of the Rethink website (rethink.org) to familiarise yourself with your rights as Nearest Relative and the S.2 (including timescales, what treatment is/is not permitted under this Section and the appeals/Tribunal process if you are concerned about this)

It is worth pointing out that being Nearest Relative does not give you automatic rights to have information about your family member's care shared with you/be included in ward meetings. It is of course best practice to involve family/support networks as much as possible in a person's care/treatment but this is balanced with the patient's views/choice (if they are assessed to have the mental capacity to make this decision...and sometimes even if they are not).

Hugs to you both.