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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kids birthday party, part two

31 replies

hibijibi15 · 29/02/2020 13:44

AIBU regretting saying yes to a party invitation for my son who is four when I don't know the kids' parents as their son is new to school? I just don't want him to go any more. I shouldn't have said yes. I don't know them from Adam, surely you don't just leave your four year old at someones house you don't know!

Any opinions to offer, just to allow me to check whether I am being unreasonable in my thoughts? Would you eave your child there?

OP posts:

LittleRa · 29/02/2020 13:48

Age 4? Are you sure you’re meant to drop off and leave? In my experience parties at that age the parents stay too.

EssentialHummus · 29/02/2020 13:49

At four I imagine some / all parents will stay, surely?

MaidofKent78 · 29/02/2020 13:50

Just home from a 4 year old's party. No one left their children.

frogsbreath · 29/02/2020 13:52

The kid's parents are trying to help him make friends in his new school, and possibly meet other parents as at that age parents will stay with their kids.

Nowayorhighway · 29/02/2020 13:52

This is weird as fuck. I don’t know any of the school parents at all but I have dropped my DC off at parties before and never even thought twice about it. Granted, they are older than four but at four you can stay at the party and maybe get to know the parents?

Reginabambina · 29/02/2020 13:53

At four your stay.

10FrozenFingers · 29/02/2020 13:54

Drop and leave is the norm here, unless hosts ask you to stay.

OhCaptain · 29/02/2020 13:55

If you’re worried just stay with him.

Lenny1980 · 29/02/2020 13:58

If he’s new to school it would be a shame if no one bothered because they don’t know the parents. Poor kid.

Original poster

hibijibi15 · 29/02/2020 14:00

At four do you think?

OP posts:

SummerHouse · 29/02/2020 14:00

What's part 1?

OhCaptain · 29/02/2020 14:02

At four do we think what?!

WhoLettheCatOut · 29/02/2020 14:04

At 4 you will be expected to stay, good opportunity to get to know the parents!

Nanny0gg · 29/02/2020 14:08

So the parents think it would be a good idea to have a birthday party so their son can mix with his class and they can see the kids and get to know some of the parents

And you get to stay and get to know them

And you don't think it might be a bit unkind not to go when you've already said yes?

Original poster

hibijibi15 · 29/02/2020 14:08

I don't know how to reply to individual comments, I only signed up yesterday. I wasn't sure what the parents expected me to do. I wouldn't say that 'this is as weird as ...' It is the first party we have been invited to so I've no idea what the norms are. Now that people are saying it is normal to stay with them of course it makes sense and I feel relieved. I am perfectly happy for him to go if I can stay with him. Yes, the parents want to make sure he has friends and get to know people, that's why I initially said yes and of course it would be devastating if no one went!

Thanks everyone for the input x

OP posts:

MrsTWH · 29/02/2020 14:10

I would stay with him at 4. Does the invite specifically say to drop and run? I wouldn’t be happy if it did.

However YABU to not let your son go to a party just because the other child is new to the school. How else are they meant to get to know anybody? Is your school very cliquey?

Original poster

hibijibi15 · 29/02/2020 14:12

Lenny I didn't mean I wasn't going to bother because I don't know the parents, I just meant I didn't want to leave him there, without me!

Nanny, don't worry about me being mean. Of course I'm going if I can stay.

OP posts:

Original poster

hibijibi15 · 29/02/2020 14:14

Amazed this has been taken the wrong way. OF COURSE I am not saying I don't want him to go because I don't know the parents or the kid, just that I wasn't comfortable if I was expected to leave him.
Is my post THAT unclear?

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 29/02/2020 14:17

Is my post THAT unclear?

A little bit.

Stop worrying. You'll find out once you get to know other parents and the types of parties, when it'll be drop off and when to stay.

But at 4/5 definitely stay.

Original poster

hibijibi15 · 29/02/2020 14:19

Yes my post is unclear in fact. I wrote it in a rush as life is very hectic and still have chemo brain.

I only meant I didn't want him to go if I was expected to leave him there. As for the rest, being mean, being cliquey, etc, that's not me. Feel like I've thrown myself to the wolves, will be very very careful in future. This has helped in some ways but just made me stressed in others. Thanks for the sane replies

OP posts:

BackforGood · 29/02/2020 14:19

Another who wants to know what 'Part one' was ?

SummerHouse · 29/02/2020 14:20

The post wasn't totally clear but you have fully explained it now. It's just that some people only read the opening post or commented before you explained.

SummerHouse · 29/02/2020 14:23

Hope you go and you and your son have a lovely time.

Please don't be stressed by any comments.

Howmanysleepsnow · 29/02/2020 14:24

@hibijibi15 yes, posting in AIBU is a bit like being thrown to the wolves! Try posting in Chat next time, it’s less judgmental there.

And, yes, staying is normal at parties at home until around 6, elsewhere until around 8 or 9.

OhCaptain · 29/02/2020 14:28

Nobody was judgemental based off the dearth of info!

@hibijibi15 have they said they want kids to be left there?

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