I’ve NC as people know me here in real life and out of respect to my partner.
We’ve been together for 2 years and this is the fourth time he’s heading down a deep dark hole of depression - these phases usually last 2-3 months.
All the signs are there this week; he’s taken it out on me telling me how I’m failure etc. He’s starting smoking a hell more weed and lying about it, moaning about his new job/life/home 24/7, flaking on all plans and generally being in a sulk. He’s also making a lot of rash decisions I.e. brand new car on finance that he can’t afford and now he’s totally skint (and now slow to put his hand in his pocket for anything we need in life). Last time this happened on the way home from work he picked up a puppy without consulting me.
Last night I generally suggested that he goes to the GP/therapy as I don’t want to loose him down the hole for a couple of months and I’m worried about him. He says he doesn’t want to see anyone and that he just needs me to be more supportive of him (I think he wants to quit his job again and my magic money tree of money has ran out), he says that he needs me to act normal as me being worried is making him more negative. Tbh I don’t have the time or effort to be wrapping him up in cotton wool again/entertainer/full time adult in this relationship. He just gets very obsessive, insecure and stressed with when he’s down this hole.
I’m not sure what I’m asking as there’s no way I’d leave someone over depression, and I will be supportive as there’s no way I’d live with the alternative.
The last time this was happening my mum has terminal cancer and he asked me to be his rock. So not only was I having to deal with that, helping family with my younger siblings/taxi driver to college/life etc and generally my whole world been tipped upside down ‘I needed to be his rock’ and lending him money (which I didn’t have, and could have been better supporting my parents). I’m now helping out my elderly Nan as this is the third child she’s lost.
I’m quite a strong person but I can’t deal with being dragged down to this hole for two months. If anyone has some practical advice to potentially preventing him going down the hole that would be great.