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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate being home alone

39 replies

aw1212 · 28/02/2020 22:59

I should love being home alone. I want to love the peace and enjoy doing what I want and relaxing but I HATE it. I absolutely can't relax whatsoever, I'm on edge 24/7 thinking there is somebody in my house, I don't sleep well and I'm checking all the time if doors are locked etc.

Partner isn't away a lot but when he is it's for long periods of time so I'm going to have to get used to it.

How can I stop living in fear all the time? Sad

OP posts:
attatiti · 28/02/2020 23:01

How often does someone try to get into your house when DP is there?

The frequency is likely to be exactly the same when he’s not. Think of it like that.

Original poster
aw1212 · 28/02/2020 23:03

@attatiti I do try to think like that but it never works for me Sad

OP posts:
DawnAnn · 28/02/2020 23:09

I don't really mind when my DH is away. However I have noticed that I hear/notice more noises when I am trying to drift off to sleep (as I don't have DH's snoring to drown them out!). I pop the radio on when I go to sleep and it really does help x

PumpkinP · 28/02/2020 23:10

I’m a single parent so home alone everyday , I hate it. People seem to go on about how much they love living alone but im the same as you op.

Darbs76 · 28/02/2020 23:12

Why not get a burglar alarm? I sleep much better knowing it’s on half house at night

Tatiebee97 · 28/02/2020 23:16

I live with my parents but I have a 4 month old. Every month they go away for a weekend and I kid you not I can't even shower I keep hearing noises. When the heatings on the floor boards creek upstairs I know this I've lived in this house 22 years 😂 but I still to this day when I'm on my own fully shit myself I even go to bed and leave my bedroom light on and something on the door handle 😂 you would never of guessed I lived on my own at one point

ErrrNo · 28/02/2020 23:22

I think the key to relaxing is to find what your worries are and to have a plan if they occur?
Might make you feel better?

I love very rurally, nearest neighbour isn't on shouting distance and I'm alone with 3 dc

But I do feel more settled knowing I have a plan on place for worst case scenarios

cheeseislife8 · 28/02/2020 23:23

My DH works shit hours and I'm pretty often sleeping in an empty house. I lived alone before I met him and never really noticed but now I'm hyper aware of every little sound. Things that would be normal house noises when he's here suddenly become burglars/murderers/every horror film I've ever watched even though he would be useless if we ever were burgled

I put the TV or radio on at all times for background noise and try to fall asleep with a radio on, like PP. Hope it helps!

anon2020202020 · 28/02/2020 23:36

I feel the exact same op. I'm so exhausted but I can't sleep because I hear things. I know the dogs would bark and I have an alarm and live next to w main road so very minute chance of someone picking my house.

But I'm alone with 2 children and everything's a bit scarier in the dark.

Yesmate · 28/02/2020 23:40

Get an alarm. Set it religiously every time you go out. You know then when you get in and lock the door behind you that no one is in there because the alarm would have gone off. Part set it at night so it’s covered for downstairs doors and windows but you can move freely upstairs. I’ve just set mine as I’m off to bed. It’s just me and DS all the time so I like to have that extra bit of comfort.

Frazzledmum123 · 28/02/2020 23:47

Sorry but I'm the complete opposite! I love my dh and 3 kids more than anything, they are my world, but its bliss the very rare times I am home alone, I absolutely love the peace! Wouldn't like it full time though admittedly

ByeMF · 28/02/2020 23:49

This isn't typical thinking for someine living alone. You need to identify and address what's causing the underlying anxiety.

Atilathehunter · 28/02/2020 23:51

I love being home alone, absolutely love it.
On the rare occasions I’m home alone at night I have the alarm on and all the lights downstairs.

Original poster
aw1212 · 28/02/2020 23:52

I don't know what's causing this anxiety.. it's started in the last couple of months and has progressively gotten worse

OP posts:
Rosebel · 29/02/2020 00:01

I enjoy being home alone in the day but I hate it overnight. I always hear more noises so I always leave the radio or tv on. Got to a honest though and say I only sleep properly when my husband is back home.

Original poster
aw1212 · 29/02/2020 00:21

@Rosebel This is exactly how I feel

OP posts:
PixieDustt · 29/02/2020 00:41

I don't like it over night but in the day I'm at home by myself well with DS as on maternity.
You can hear every noise at night and this wind doesn't help!

PixieDustt · 29/02/2020 00:42

I thought I heard someone try the door yesterday at about 7pm but I think it was DS's bath seat falling off the side of the bath. But I convinced myself for about 4 hours it was someone trying the door!

Mummyshark2018 · 29/02/2020 00:50

When I moved in with my then dp, Before I had a child i was like you and hated being at home alone. Was very scared. But I grew up in a busy big household so it was strange to me. Now I have a dc and a dog it helps when dh works away.

Divebar · 29/02/2020 00:54

I used to love living alone but I couldn’t sleep if my bedroom door was ajar. Once I got wooden floors I used to leave empty glass bottles upside down next to doors so that if anybody came through the noise would wake me. Thankfully no one ever did.

Topseyt · 29/02/2020 01:04

I'm another who enjoys it during the day but not at night.

At night I just feel much more vulnerable, and every sound carries and seems exaggerated in a way that just doesn't happen in the day. I get what you mean.

I would often have the TV or radio on for background noise even if I am not really watching or listening.

Fluffybutter · 29/02/2020 02:36

My dh goes away once or twice a week and has done for a couple of years and I still don’t sleep well now.
I’m not as bad with checking doors/windows but I always think I can hear noises or I wake up at odd times sweating .
No excuse tonight though , he’s here and I’m still bloody wide awake and nowhere near tired Sad

knightlight · 29/02/2020 02:46

I'd be the same.

Quite recently my mother was home alone and my dad was on a business trip and two men were trying the front door handle and reaching their arms into the letter box to see if there were keys inside the door!

I know it's rare but it does happen.

ColourMyDreams · 29/02/2020 03:17

One of my daughters is often home alone due to her husband going away with his employment.
She leaves a lamp and the TV on in the lounge overnight, as though she is still up.
Basically, leaves it as it is when she goes to bed.
Maybe you could consider doing that OP?

Selmababies · 29/02/2020 03:19

I have a locking bedroom door. Not a yale lock type of thing, just a door handle with a key keyhole icorparated into it. I find it very reassuring if i'm feeling jumpy about strange noises.

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