To hate being home alone

[aw1212]

I should love being home alone. I want to love the peace and enjoy doing what I want and relaxing but I HATE it. I absolutely can't relax whatsoever, I'm on edge 24/7 thinking there is somebody in my house, I don't sleep well and I'm checking all the time if doors are locked etc.

Partner isn't away a lot but when he is it's for long periods of time so I'm going to have to get used to it.

How can I stop living in fear all the time?

Meant to add, maybe you might feel more secure with a lock on your internal or bedroom doors.

@Selmababies Snap 🙂

Hi OP,

I used to be just the same and I still am on occasion but I feel much safer now we have CCTV outside our house and camera's inside by the front and back door. This probably sounds like overkill but it makes me feel safe when I'm alone and DH too.

I / we can look at the cameras any time and also set it so that if there is any activity detected it can send alerts to our mobiles.
We also have good security in terms of multi point locking doors and windows. We always leave a few lights on inside and we have outside lights and the side gate is always locked.

I would suggest you look at general security in and around the home. This should make you feel physically safer.
Then if you continue to feel anxious can you try and think back to what might have started this? Are you anxious about any other issues? Maybe look at trying some counselling to help with the anxiety.

Another thought, are there things playing on your mind due to TV programmes you are watching or books you are reading? It might sound obvious but this often sets me off with my mind racing about what could happen.
For example I can't watch horror movies and I avoid certain TV series because I know they will scare me witless.

I hope your anxiety settles down soon, I know only too well how debilitating it can be.

Yes, I agree with the above posts. We now have a bedroom door which locks and when DH is away I feel much safer on my own with the bedroom door locked.

I feel the same way.
When I'm home alone at night I check the whole house, closets, under the bed..
When my DD3.5 tells me she's scared during bedtime ( and does every night) I just want to say "me too!"

I watch too many real life murder shows.

Well there are four of us in the house, so it doesn't happen, but I could handle it with no problems. Before I was married I lived on my own and loved it.

Can you step up security - make sure your doors and windows are strong/lockable, fit an alarm and put it on half house at night. Think about any area you worry about and fix it so you can feel more at ease?

After my DH died I became hyper-alert about security, though had never been lax before. I live alone in very "naice" Melbourne suburb, where burglaries will be daytime, not night, or does that become housebreaking? It's statistically very small but the fear was there.

I have deadlocks on all exterior doors and high security screen doors. The latter sound ridiculous but look fine, very strong, very unobtrusive.

I sleep with the bedroom door open unless it's winter, so I hear everything that's happening in the house, though this isn't why I do it, I just prefer it. This allows the dog to hurl himself off my bed to bark furiously at whatever. Usually a possum walking over the roof. He is a good watch dog.

My house is haunted so I completely understand OP.

When I'm going to be home alone at night, I make sure to close every curtain tight. There's one door with a window and no curtain, so I use magnetic clips to hang a sheet over that. It looks a little odd, but I feel so much safer knowing that no-one can be watching me from outside.

My dogs would alert me to the slightest sounds, but they are also the type to sometimes bark at nothing, so they're a mixed blessing!

I keep my phone close to me on nights alone, avoid anything spooky (books, films, tv), and try to stick to my usual routines as much as possible.

YABU. Enjoy the peace

Get some cats, then whenever you hear weird noises you’ll know it’s just them destroying everything you own

Wildthyme - that’s pretty rude, not a very nice person.