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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your ‘arrggghhh why didn’t I say something?!’ moments that still annoy you?

67 replies

Booboopdeboop · 28/02/2020 12:00

I have one that to this day still make me rage when I think about them!

Two years ago I went to the GP for a repeat prescription. All routine but they wanted to check my blood pressure, weight etc before they would issue me with another prescription. My usual GP wasn’t available so I went with whoever was free on my day off.

Different GP (who I had not met before) weighed me and said ‘Your weight is fine but...’ (pause whilst he looked me up and down) ‘... you know, summer IS coming’.

I was early 30s, average size 12, ran about 20 miles a week. The GP was a middle-aged scruff bag with food on his tie and a beer belly. I literally was so gobsmacked I just sat there whilst he wrote out my prescription and handed it to me. How dare he say something so rude and demeaning!? It still boils my piss when I think of it now, but what makes me even more cross is that I didn’t challenge him on it, or complain to the practice manager!

In my job I am used to standing up to people and being assertive, so why words failed me on this occasion I have no idea!

Please share with me your horror stories so I don’t feel so bad about mine!

OP posts:
Flutteringsatlast · 28/02/2020 12:04

NHS breast check up last year.
Undressed in the changing area. Slipped the gown open at the machine.
Operator commented it must be cold outside...
Very unprofessional imo..
Was called back and never went.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 28/02/2020 12:06

I once took a couple of boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts over to MIL's house as she was having a get together. A couple of hours into the day I took one and as I took a bite MIL said loudly "oooh I'm not sure you should be having one of those, not with your hips".

I wish, wish, wish I'd told her to shove her comments up her arse - she was so unkind so many times about my body, my career, my cooking, my parenting. It took me years to stand up to her and tell her I don't give a shit.

ClaudiaNaughton · 28/02/2020 12:07

About 30 years ago I saw a lorry driver beating his dog parked in a busy street in his cab. I still feel so angry that I didn’t accost him. It was sickening and I was aghast.

PETRONELLAS · 28/02/2020 12:07

Got tutted at by the self service person in fucking Lidl because I’d moved from a broken till. I said ‘sorry to have upset you’ but really wish I’d have discussed the eye roll and the tut. I know it brings out the dregs of society but I was being v civilised.

pooopypants · 28/02/2020 12:07

I went to the GP for some medication that had been recommended to me following s private consultation. The GP refused the medication, told me that, despite me being hardly able to walk and exhausted from little sleep "well if someone can take you to the gym and help you onto the treadmill, you take it from there". I'd struggled to even make it into the surgery and she wanted me to get onto a treadmill!

DesdamonasHandkerchief · 28/02/2020 12:10

Were you called back because they needed to retake the mammogram Flutter? If so you should book yourself in for a retest ASAP, it may have not been a clear image or they may have found something suspect.
I'm sure you wouldn't have a similarly unprofessional nurse I have an annual check due to family history and have never had any unprofessional comments. Despite being flat as an ironing board!

Flutteringsatlast · 28/02/2020 12:14

ClaudiaNoughton I saw a man last year beating his ddog in the street. Got pictures. Rang the police. They never even got back to me...I confronted him - and his wife. She justified it as being a rescue dog and they were advised to hit it if it attacked another ddog - which had just happened..
Kept the pictures incase I ever see him again.
Oh and I rang every rescue in a 50 mile radias and sent pics. Nobody recognised the poor ddog or its abusers.
Wish I had contacted a paper on reflection...

RhymingRabbit3 · 28/02/2020 12:18

It's just a dog, not a ddog

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 28/02/2020 12:19

I'm sure there are loads, but my most recent one was yesterday and it was more, 'Should I have said more?' I was walking DDog and saw two boys aged around 12 standing on a bridge, lowering a long string of attached recycling bags into the water. When they saw me they hesitated, and I said to them, 'I hope you're going to put those in the bin when you're finished, don't just dump them in the river.' One of them came out with something nonsensical about how it wasn't him, he'd just found them. I said, 'Well you've got them now, so can you put them in the bin after?'

Left it at that. Came back that way after the dog walk and yep, in the river. All sorts of wildlife around and I've even seen otters in that river once. Little shits. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, but now I wish I'd just taken the bags off them.

CouscousEvaporator · 28/02/2020 12:20

When I was 15 or so I was walking back to the train in the dark with a group of friends at about 6pm, and this man had his partner pinned by her throat against a wall. She was crying, he was extremely aggressive.
I shuffled past, thought “what am I doing?” And looked back to see if I could help, but they were then kissing. All my friends said to leave it alone. I often think what would have happened if I/we had said something. I hope she’s ok now.

It was a real eye opening moment.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 28/02/2020 12:20

Rhyming x-post....Grin

JoJothesquirrel · 28/02/2020 12:22

I went for a smear at the sexual health clinic. They went through the how many people have you slept with etc etc and I was honest. Then into stirrups and I winced as she literally pushed my knees apart. She said “wouldn’t think you’d be shy after what you’ve just told me” while she rested her head on my inner thigh. Wish I’d asked her who she thought she was and why she was doing that job if she was so judgemental.

Flutteringsatlast · 28/02/2020 12:24

Dear dog is well recognised on here!!
If you love dogs!

Flutteringsatlast · 28/02/2020 12:25

If you love a ddog it's never just a ddog either...

TheresNothingIWantMore · 28/02/2020 12:26

Mine is kind of from the opposite side!

I was in the supermarket and accidentally tapped something on my phone in my pocket so it started playing music. I got it out and started to try to turn it off, but it was freezing and not letting me stop the music (probably took a few seconds but felt like ages!) I tutted at the phone just as employee crossed my path. She apologised and just too late I realised she thought I was tutting at her!

I felt so bad I wished I'd gone to apologise and explained! I looked like the sort of asshole who plays music out loud while walking around the supermarket and then tuts at anyone who happens to need the same piece of floor space at the same time!

81Byerley · 28/02/2020 12:30

@Flutteringsatlast yes, but I think she meant it obviously wasn't a dear dog to it's abusive owner!

Flutteringsatlast · 28/02/2020 12:33

Ah sorry - emotional as had my precious ddog pts this week...
Remembering that poor ddog was not pleasant...

EyeChangedMyName · 28/02/2020 12:35

Name changed because this anecdote is so bizarre, anyone I've ever told it to would recognise me...

A few days after having my first child, I was struggling with learning to breastfeed, and feeling generally overwhelmed, anaemic and mad.

My overbearing MIL, who is into natural health and had an eye condition at the time, approached me with a small dish as I tried to feed my child, and asked me to express some milk into it so she could bathe her eye.

I bloody well did it, and I still kick myself.

mrsBtheparker · 28/02/2020 12:37

Many, many years ago we were going into a shopping centre and a couple of boys were spraying silly string on the walls, everyone walked by, tutting but saying nothing. For some reason I put on my very best teacher voice and said, Stop doing that and wipe it off, and they did, I was so impressed with myself!

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 28/02/2020 12:41

Fluttering Flowers

Birdnerd · 28/02/2020 12:43

When ex dp's mum said "well at his age he will just get something else that will kill him" deadpan serious face and no other comments. When I was happily saying my ddad was having last round of chemo. He couldn't see what a nasty thing that was to say about someone else's parent.

Notso · 28/02/2020 12:44

I was harangued by the health visitor to wean DC1. It was when 4-6 months was advised but there was a lot of talk of waiting until 6 months but she was a few weeks before 4 months. I had PND and was young so getting regular home visits. I didn't think DD was ready but HV was really pushing it so I started.
Then had a visit from another HV as mine was on leave. She asked about weaning information and I said I'd started and she went on a massive rant about how I'd damaged my baby and how stupid I was.
I really wished I'd said it was the other HV who forced it and I didn't feel it was right but instead I just cried.

The Bounty woman who came round after DC2 was born. He was 9lb 5oz with a massive head,
Bounty woman "poor thing, you must've had a few stitches"
Me" No I didn't need any luckily"
Bounty woman "Christ, you must've been round the block a few times"
She then proceeded to swing my sleeping newborn through the air to wake him for a photo. I was too gobsmacked to say anything.

Midwife taking blood from my newborn, he was screaming and I was saying "shhh" and stroking his face, not as a be quiet but just to try and comfort him,
she said "he's not going to shh you silly girl, it's really hurting him"
Again I just cried.

The midwives who laughed at me when I got to hospital after giving birth at home unassisted as they wouldn't listen when I said I was in labour. I was in shock and they were making jokes. WTF.

notalwaysalondoner · 28/02/2020 12:50

I was in Mozambique for work and saw some fishermen dragging in a huge half alive turtle on a deserted beach. I did actually say something, but they asked me to pay them for the turtle for them to release it. I just walked away - I now often think about how I could have at least negotiated with them. I know it probably wouldn’t have made a difference and also as a lone female on a quiet beach it wouldn’t be sensible to have gone and got a load of money, but I do think about it often and feel very guilty.

Original poster
Booboopdeboop · 28/02/2020 12:58

@Notso I’m Shock at the last bit. Utterly disgraceful that they behaved like that!

OP posts:
Rumnraisin · 28/02/2020 13:08

Breast-feeding room on maternity ward - I was really struggling and trying to do my best not to cry. Nasty midwife turns to me and says in abrupt voice “wear is your nursing bra?”, me in meek voice “sorry I forgot to bring it”. Also said the same to other woman. She then went on to tell me that “women need to understand that breasts aren’t just for men, they are to feed your baby with now” !!!. I actually nodded. Same one told me off for going to the loo when my baby started crying. I was terrified of going as the first time after c-section and all I could hear was her horrible booming voice saying “what is going on here” to the whole ward. 10 years on and it makes my blood boil - how fucking dare she, the evil bitch.