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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go off someone who doesn't flush after themselves

66 replies

Deadcatbounce · 27/02/2020 12:29

Finding myself grossed out by this.

Spent the weekend with a new guy at his place , Saturday morning I went into his bathroom to find fresh pebbledashing so I tipped a load of bleach down there, Sunday morning a turd and toilet paper.

Aibu to be totally grossed out and gone right off him

OP posts:
Topseyt · 27/02/2020 13:42

He sounds disgusting. Like a toddler expecting mummy to flush it for him. The whole place must stink surely, if he virtually never flushes.

I am not in the "never flush at night" camp, or the camp that doesn't flush away a wee, only poo. Just flush it and get rid of it. Don't leave it there for others to find. Leave the toilet as you would wish to find it.

I wonder if this guy's former wife left him because of some of his disgusting habits?

ImpossibleGirl · 27/02/2020 13:44

@katy
An ex of mine used to say "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down" 🤢🤮
Growing up, this is what we had - but it was drought conditions and massive water restrictions, so flushing after a wee was considered to be massively wasteful.

Living in London now, whether or not water restrictions are in place over summer, everyone flushes for everything.

I understand both angles (flush a wee or not) in every aspect (public/friends family/ private) and find it really hard to plant a foot heavily in either camp..

Serendipity79 · 27/02/2020 13:50

its a deal breaker for me if someone cant clean up their own waste. Ewwwww. As a pp said, if he isn't flushing then is he washing his hands? My 4 and 6 year old have better toilet habits than this....

Just imagine living together and having to go round after him cleaning up :(

JRUIN · 27/02/2020 13:51

That's disgusting! I can't believe someone would not bother flushing a shit away anytime, let alone when they're supposed to be impressing a new partner. Disrespectful pig!

Original poster
Deadcatbounce · 27/02/2020 13:53

I should have said something on the sat morning when the toilet sides were plastered, Sunday however I was just o God o God and left after breakfast which as i said I didn't eat...wish now in had said are you in a water conservation area or something to let him know not acceptable to leave a shit filled bowl but never happened to me before and I just wanted to go

OP posts:
Blackandgreenteas · 27/02/2020 13:55

I think wee is ok within reason, because we’re supposed to conserve water. But not multiple wees, and never pop.

Disgusting!

Nothing2doooooo · 27/02/2020 13:59

I would wonder what his general hygiene is like. Quite sure he doesn't properly wipe his arse afterwards.

If it was new, I would be disgusted enough to never return.... to him.

But depending on what this guy is like and how well we're getting along, I personally am not averse to 'educating' people (even grown ups). Some just never got a chance.
I might stay and tell him about the unflushed toilets and other things (in a completely non preachy way). But if my attempt at 'helping' isn't clearly welcome and implemented, then off I go. Hygiene is big deal breaker.

EverythingChanges321 · 27/02/2020 14:04

I don’t flush after a wee usually but always flush after a poo.
I wash my hands every time but try not to waste water by letting the tap run unnecessarily.

However, at the start of a new relationship I’d be super hygienic and probably wouldn’t even fart in front of someone so I suspect he’s just a lazy sod and I think you need to ditch him.

Original poster
Deadcatbounce · 27/02/2020 14:05

I've gone and left , he was married for 20 years so should know better, if he doesn't then I'm not wasting my time teaching him something my 5 year old nephew knows !

Just wondered if in was too naice to dump.no pun intended over this but I now think no most women wouldn't accept it in the supposed honey moon period

OP posts:
Muckycat · 27/02/2020 19:35

Did you tell him why, OP? You'd be doing him a favour if you did.

Glitterb · 27/02/2020 19:41

I dumped someone for this once, it gave me the ‘ick’

We went and stayed in a lovely hotel in London, within 5 mins he went in and left skiddys and a poo floating, for the rest of the weekend I was graced with more and more skids....

Ozziewozzie · 27/02/2020 19:47

I’d be grossed out too yet saying that, my ex h would always leave a clean toilet yet would shower or bath all week and literally fart every 30 minutes as loud as he possibly could. I’m unsure which I’d prefer Confused

Ozziewozzie · 27/02/2020 19:48

Would not shower or bath ^

Lamplighter234 · 27/02/2020 19:52

It’s extremely grim, I have the ick for you 🤢 .

mnthrowaway202020 · 27/02/2020 19:52

Filthy bottom barrel man, I don’t even know you OP but I am confident that you can do better than him!

So as it’s his own place, does he just piss all over the seat and then happily sit down on it later on? His personal hygiene is non existent

mnthrowaway202020 · 27/02/2020 19:55

I think wee is ok within reason, because we’re supposed to conserve water. But not multiple wees,

I’m confused. If it’s not supposed to hold multiple wees, doesn’t that mean that you flush after each time?

bluenoir · 27/02/2020 19:57

Are you dating my son?

He's 5. Because I'm assuming adult men flush the loo 🤢

Ponoka7 · 27/02/2020 20:06

He could be on his best behaviour but is testing your boundaries. Just think how bad it could get.

hidinginthenightgarden · 27/02/2020 20:14

In his defence...Only a little bit... I flush after the toilet but for some reason it often floats and won't go down!!! I don't know why but it makes me really self conscious. I have previously walked away after flushing only for DH to find it later Blush.

letsdolunch321 · 27/02/2020 20:18

If that is his bathroom etiquette, I dread to think what his general hygiene is like 😳

RedPanda2 · 27/02/2020 20:20

Ewww! Kids who don't flush make me feel ick so an adult not doing it is downright gross and disrespectful. I hope you don't get a UTI from him not washing his hands

DrManhattan · 27/02/2020 20:34

Omg
Are you gonna give him some feedback ? On why hes dumped (sorry)

He sounds gross and lazy. Both are massive turn offs imo.

Thurmanmurman · 27/02/2020 20:37

Maybe he was proud of it and wanted to show it off? Seriously though that's disgusting.

Runmybathforme · 27/02/2020 20:39

Oh Christ no ! Dirty bastard. Bet his bum is disgusting, he must stink.

Original poster
Deadcatbounce · 27/02/2020 20:45

No i didnt give feedback, I think it's a given soneone flushes their shit!!!

Thinking about it, he didn't shower on the Saturday I was there , and I left Sunday morning and he went straight to a family do

So gross, can I catch a uti? Now I don't think he washeshis hands either and I'm cringing

OP posts:
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