husband being a dick

[sanswit]

My husband went to drop our dd at her childminders this morning and have stayed in to get our DS dressed for school.

When he left, as I alway do, I locked the door behind him and started getting DS dressed.

He came back from the CM (I saw him walking ho the path and walked towards the door) and because the door was locked he started hammering the door and rattling the letterbox repeatedly.

I opened the door and and asked why he couldn’t just have chapped? He then started having a go that I was being a headcase for locking the door when he’d just popped out for 10 minutes.

A barney ensued because I wouldn’t back down that locking the door is good practice (we have friends whose how was nearly broken into after her husband left for work and she was getting the children breakfast. The only thing that prevented it was a chain on the front door)

He just kept telling me I was nuts and that I shouldn’t have locked the door. I’m not proud to say I hissed that he was a fucking aggressive weirdo idiot which flamed it more.

Wibu to lock the door or was he being unreasonable?

My DH religiously locks the door after he leaves early in the morning. I find it irritating sometimes as we live rurally but I also like that he wants DD and I to be safe.

he’s being stupid

Always locked here. Used to have a house with alarms on them so you'd hear them being opened.

Have three big dogs. Anyone walking in would get a bit of a fright... But I don't want the dogs to be able to jump up and open the doors either.

For me it depends where you live. London? Sure door should defo be locked. Somewhere quieter? Maybe not.

My DH locks the door habitually, even if he knows I just went down to check the letter box 2 minutes down the road. It drives me bloody batty! But then again, we have an outer door with a code lock, and an inner door (which is the one he locks). So I do understand your DH's irritation, but he doesn't need to batter the letterbox flap surely. Just a quick "don't lock the door I'll be back in 10" on the way out should have done the trick? You both sound slightly unreasonable to me, but it's nothing a calm conversation won't fix.

I cannot believe how quickly minor things on MN escalate. I still maintain that calling someone a fucking aggressive weirdo idiot is very aggressive. I don't think I have ever talked to anyone quite so aggressively

If there's a door and there's a key - I'll lock it. Always. And I don't care, if anyone thinks I'm being paranoid. I suffer from PTSD after a violent attack after which I was left to die, so I would feel very anxious with an open door. And even without PTSD I don't think I'm being over the top. I had a man trying my door handle to see if it was open couple of times. He wasn't a delivery guy or anything (not that I think it would be ok for a delivery man to do this). He was probably going for the purse or whatnot, which I don't care much about, but even if it sounds over the top: THERE ARE violent criminals breaking into homes and doing bad things to people inside. There were cases like this. I know it's rare, but why risk it, if you can prevent it by simply turning the key in the lock?

I once was at my parent's house, alone. I walked in just to grab something, for less than a min, so didn't lock the door. Ran upstairs, grabbed my stuff and went back. There were two men, standing in the hall. Turned out, they were handymen/builders or something and were there to do their work. They saw an opened door and walked in. They said they shouted 'hello', but I didn't hear it. My parents knew about them, but forgot to tell me. The feeling when I saw two big strangers (dressed in black, by the way) INSIDE the house, my blood ran cold.

My boyfriend is an ex-forces tough guy. Not in a dickish way, but I guess he sometimes feels he's invincible or something. So he finds me locking the doors for every 5 mins anyone's out a bit funny, but he understands why I do it, and is kind about it. It took a while for him to break his habit to NOT lock the doors (he pretty much never did, except for nighttime), but he did it.

YANBU, OP. In my view. Your husband is.