Sorry - it's a hen do one

[HattieMid2]

Due to get married at the end of this year, hen do planned for the summer. My bridesmaids have planned it, nothing too extravagant, a weekend away (not abroad), plenty of notice. Everyone I wanted to invite said that they would love to come, would defo be there, etc etc.
However, they have now ALL cancelled now that it's time to book.

My main issue is that none of them have approached me to tell me that they can't make it. I have heard this through my bridesmaids, who have reluctantly told me as we now need to rearrange everything as there will only be the five of us together for the weekend.
Two of the people that have cancelled are my SILs who I have seen several times over the last few days and neither has mentioned it.

AIBU to be absolutely gutted? I am very lucky to have amazing friends who will plan a lovely celebration, but they don't live near me so I will be travelling alone on the morning of my hen do to meet them, which stings a bit. 10 of my friends/family have cancelled ☹️

I didn't realise they went back that far. I got married in 1970 and they were regarded as a relatively modern thing, certainly my mother and aunts hadn't had them. Then it was normally an evening out, a meal and a few drinks. That was it.

I'm sorry you feel let down by your friends OP, it's shitty that they didn't tell you personally but I can imagine they might have felt awkward backing out.

It can get really expensive and it's not always possible to go but it would be nice for them to be honest with you.

As for the general conversation about having a hen do, I'm constantly confused by the attitudes on here.

I'm wondering why it seems so different to my friendship group. I love my friends and will frankly celebrate the opening of an envelope with them if they wanted to organise a party.

It might be different for a friend of a friend but even then, if I liked the bride and could make it, I probably would go.

People on here are so sniffy about stuff like this and I really don't get it. I don't understand why other posters don't appear to be happy for their friends and loved ones or actually like spending time with them?

Honestly, weddings, birthday parties, hen dos, baby showers are all horrific occasions to be avoided and sniped about apparently.

I love them all. 👍

Because the ones we read about on here tend to be expensive and extravagant trips abroad, and is something a lot of cash strapped people can't afford.

I didn’t go to BF hen do because the MOH made such a song and dance about it, picked a weekend I couldn’t do easily and it was expensive. She was bloody rude too and I just didn’t want to go to something she’d organised.
I did tell BF myself though. I was a yes I. Theory but when the details became clear it was a no way...

I had a crappy hen do. Neither of my bridesmaids bothered, non of my friends from uni came despite me holding it in the city we studied in and many still lived in or near. No work colleagues came. All I did was came to a local city (short train ride for all apart from one bridesmaid) and had a meal and a few drinks. There was me, my mum, my aunty, my cousin and my mums cousin.

We came home earlyish as another cousin said she couldn't afford the train but would meet us us in our home town for a few drinks. I wanted to stay out longer but was told by my aunty and cousin it wasn't fair as other cousin was waiting for us - while on train home she texted to say she didn't feel like going out. I think I was home by 9pm 😕

My hen do was a night out with mates in the town we all live in. It was fab. Everyone came.

Just forget them and have a great time.

Just to say I agree that if I couldn't make a hen do I would contact the organisers who invited me, not the bride, in case I put my foot in it (as wouldn't know how much she knew about it).

Anyway sounds like you have a great plan B, OP.