to think it isn't normal behaviour for a 4 year old it's naughty!

[Needtochangemymindset]

Had a hard day today with my 4 almost 5 year old. Im usually good at keeping it together but I ended up shouting several times. Each time she was asked to do something e.g. colouring at the table not on the sofa she shouted 'no I won't at me' and when I eventually lost my temper she put her hands over her ears, mimicked me and then either stuck out her tongue or blew raspberries at me.

DH says normal I say needs firmer discipline.

Please help!

Yes for normal behaviour
No for needs firmer discipline

Normal, rude, needs fixing.

My daughter has just turned four and she is full of attitude and cheek with me.
“What did you just say.”
“I only answer to your nice voice Mummy”
“You are making me very mad right now”

And my personal favourite “You listen to me I am in charge”

I shit you not.
She is regularly praised at nursery, ballet, parties, play dates etc for her recall, concentration, impeccable manners and ability to share and listen.

Seems I get the naughty side. She has the temerity to put her younger and older brothers on her make believe time outs steps for being naughty but not herself .

The thing that works best with her is ignoring her outbursts and verbal warfare but then following through with consequences eg no crayons or songs for half an hour, no milk in her unicorn cup, no story . I also sing the reasons why to her she seems to get it more, I blame Disney for this, groan,

I find her behaviour much more challenging and embedded then her brothers she also seems to have an elephantine memory

Neither of mine did this, thank god, I would have been useless at dealing with it.
Quite surprised at the “ it’s normal” consensus. Maybe my kids are repressed? I don’t think I had the energy to repress them.

stophuggingme I think we have very similar children.

I think it depends partly on childs temperament and a parents parenting style Ohyes. If they clash and you get into a regular tug of war power struggle that type of behaviour intensifies...

My nearly 5 year old has been rather annoying lately. Selective hearing and also trying to answer back/defiance. Chatting with other mums at the school it seems normal boundary pushing behaviour which in our home would normally result in the loss of some sort of privilege

I genuinely think bedtime should be sacred though and never lose stories or loss of connection at bedtime. And if you ise punishments dont make them go onto the next day as the child wont see the connection at all.
Start each day with a fresh start and a postivie connection.

Same @hawkmoth - omg finally, some time to enjoy some peace and quiet from the endless questions. The questions. I did a little dance when the mimic apps and voice activation were released haha. Volume locked and a set of headphones, at times became an absolute everything. Ask Siri as many questions as you want. Go ahead, repeat everything lol.

@stophuggingme I had one of those as well, apart from the singing that is. But at the same time had one that was an horror in school but an absolute delight elsewhere. In the end home-schooled, after trying a few different options.

Children are on this earth to test the patience of those around them. We all do it at some stage of our lives from what I've seen.

Normal for some, i have 4 dc and 1 of them is like this. Some test boundaries more than others

A part of my chronic sleeping issues are down to using bedtime as a 'punishment' and 'reward'. Most of the time I went to bed confused about what I had done. I was an inquisitive child (still am) and it would go through my mind trying to work it all out. Other times I would know, but it didn't make sense as it was silly little things. And again, I would at times stay awake thinking about these things.

And the longer this kind of thing happened, it was hard to break the not thinking cycle to go to sleep. And on and on and on.

I'm not saying this happens to everyone. Just be aware. It was obvious something was wrong with my sleep, but the bedroom punishment still stood. And all these years later I have never been able to harm a regular sleep pattern. Well unless I want to feel like a zombie when awake.

(((Ffs))) I can imagine thats difficult. I dont think parents see the long term consequences of their actions sometimes when trying to gain control in the moment.