DS is 9 and autistic. He's been at two mainstream schools both of which failed him terribly and has now started at a small specialist school. He's only doing 3 afternoons (1.30-3.30pm) a week and there is no indication that this will change any time soon. This school is literally the only school within 50 miles and 3 local authority areas that was a) suitable for an extremely bright and academically able child but who has violent and challenging behaviour and who can't cope in a mainstream school and b) actually had a place for him.
It's been 2 years since he was at school full time and I'm just at fucking breaking point. He's lovely and very chatty and bright but I just need a break. I work from home, which I don't want to give up, so on the 2 days he is home all day I have to work while he plays and watched TV on his own etc. The 3 days he is at school, we try and do stuff in the mornings and then it's a 30 minute drive so I just have to sit and wait in the car while he's there as there's no point coming home again. Sometimes I whizz to Tesco to get shopping in etc but he is not there long enough for me to get to a decent sized town and back so mostly I just sit and dick around on MN while I wait for him.
We live somewhere rural and poor, so there just aren't lots of things to do. The library is hardly open, there isn't a museum for 25 miles, local home ed groups are mostly for younger children and full of mums who are somewhat sniffy about the fact I would rather DS was in school! And lots of their meets are in the afternoons anyway, when I'm ferrying DS to his 2 hours of education.
His world is so small and boring and I'm devastated for him. His dad isn't around (long story) so I'm all he has, my family are useless and I'm low contact with them. He's so so so clever and desperate to learn and make friends and there is just nothing for him. I'd move to somewhere with more options, but I have 2 older DC in crucial years of secondary education so that's not realistic for another 3 years or so.
I feel terrible even saying this but I'm so fed up of him being at home so much. I adore him but I am worn out, I have no patience for yet another fucking role play board game, I just want the mental break that dropping him at school at 9am and knowing that was me free until 3pm would give me.
There is literally no service to help me btw so whilst I'm open to suggestions, I don't think there is anything to be done. He sleeps at night so I don't get respite or a disability social worker etc! As apparently that's all the break I need. It just makes me so fucking angry that DS isn't getting what he is legally entitled to and that basically, nobody gives a shit 