AIBU to feel more ambitious than ever as I approach my fifties?

[froggyfire]

Does anyone else feel like this? I had a career change in my thirties then spent ten years having babies (and also not having babies - several horrible losses really knocked me sideways a few years ago and definitely took my attention away from career/work). So I am about ten years into a job that for the most part I love and it has been ticking over during this time but at a fairly slow pace, partly because I have taken the main carer role while my DH has progressed his career and accelerated.

As I approach my fifties and the kids are a bit older, I feel more ambitious than ever - I have a real sense of time running out while also wanting to achieve so much more.

Does/did anyone else feel like this? I don't know why but it feels odd, a little out of step, as though many people my age have achieved their ambitions and are now chilling out a bit or something. I don't know whether I feel like this because 'older' women are often fairly invisible or even absent in many workplaces. I don't know, I also feel a bit embarrassed that I have not been more successful already.

I would be really interested to hear from other people in a similar (or indeed different!) place.

Didn't mean to include a voting button in there!

I think it sounds rather brilliant actually. People find their mojo at different ages. Mary Wesley didn’t publish her first novel til in her 70s I believe. KOKO!

OP, I am similar!
I had a change of career focus about 10 years ago (primary school aged DC). I've been promoted twice in the last 4 years and now in senior role earning double what I was a decade ago, but more importantly, high levels of challenge and responsibility.
(Am now 51)

Me too, late 40’s high earning pre kids. Then SAHM , back to work 3 years ago in part time proper job, now just need the next step up again.

I don’t have experience personally but I think it sounds great and best of luck to you!

Not there yet but delighted to hear it as my mid 40s are a disaster zone!
Good for you op.

Yes, I feel like this, too. My 30s were mostly taken up with being broke and my parents dieing. Plus I resent being managed by men who are crap at it.

I did too OP. The realisation that time was running out to give myself some financial security. -

Did get promoted but it hasn't helped massively.

I am in the exact opposite position! I was very ambitious, always looking to go up in the organisation until the perimenopause hit me about 6 years ago. Since then, I haven't a restorative night sleep and can only manage to get through each day just about making it to Friday.

It's brilliant to hear that it is possible to reach 50 and feeling so energetic. Definitely make the most of it. Organisations need people like you, cumulating experience and wisdom, but will still some mental energy and enthusiasm. Go for it!

I’m the same OP. Going through a long drawn out divorce and massively conscious that I am the only person providing anything for my kid and it’s made me almost neurotically ambitious, like I can’t afford to stop or I won’t be able to feed my child.

I am absolutely phobic of having to rely on anyone else for money and have no expectations that I will inherit any so feel I have to. There’s also the added satisfaction I get from knowing I am twice as good at my job as the blokes in my office even though I am a single mum and they all have sahm wives. Wanting to show you are better than blokes is a huge incentive to me.

And aside from wanting more sleep, I love it. Don’t have to take anyone else’s career goals into account. I work for myself and my kid and am accountable to myself. It’s brilliant and I have no intention of slowing down.

Yeah why not. Go for it. I’m 43 and lately I’ve been really thinking I’m in the second part of my career now, and after a decade of ill health (still there but I’m managing it) now my children come home from school alone I’m now pushing for a promotion. Good luck!

I don't feel like you in my 50s but fair play to you. YANBU as long as you don't expect everyone to feel the same way.

I’ve always been rather ambitious but it’s only now in my late 30s that I’ve sorted out my mental health enough to apply the ambition. I’m studying alongside a full time job and absolutely loving it. Took a couple of third year undergrad modules to regain my mojo and feel comfortable enough to do a Masters this Autumn.

I think you’re never too old to evolve!

I do! My career has really taken off in my 50s and I can't imagine ever stopping. (Bit bemused a lot of my friends are retiring!) Child rearing very much restricted my options in my 30s and 40s and I'm now free to be me.

There is so much I still want to achieve that I've been motivated to do more to keep healthy.

YANBU

In my 50's and just starting. I am creating my own business, applying for funding and managing my project , writing a book of my life, scripts for my business, and children's books.
I was a sahm for 30 years.

I did - my advice would be to grab it now with both hands and make it happen.

Lovely inspiring thread. Currently PT due to young DC but I hope this is me in 10 years !!!

totally the same - 55 and still climbing the ladder - since I turned 50 I have tripled my salary with some role changes and I feel mad I did not have the confidence to do this earlier. I don't feel 55 - probably look it - and my ambition is the strongest it has ever been as I have experience and confidence and attitude to back it up - determined to finish career on totally high

I'm 58 and I'm probably about to be ageism full in the face but I've no intention of letting that get in the way.of things. I don't have p

I'm not there yet, but it sounds fantastic, but please don't feel embarrassed that you haven't achieved more already; you absolutely have by the sounds of it. Work isn't the be all and end all of measuring success, but having a new lease of ambition sounds great, good luck OP.

I had a high flying career in my 20s & 30s, went back to work when my DD was 4 months old and then freelanced for a while. I took a different role in the same industry on a very safe path while my DD was at school, but always worked flexibly. A couple of years ago my company restructured and suddenly everyone else in my team was working in the same flexible way as me. Everyone has had their contracts standardised and I have received around a 60% payrise for essentially doing the same job. My DD has grown up and is independent, so I can travel for work & grab a few more opportunities, without begrudgingly anything because I'm paid on an equal footing. It's great!

I'm mid-fifties. Children grown up and making their own way in the world, mortgage paid (lucky us, I know). Peri-menopause has removed any hormones that made me soft-hearted and mushy. I now see work situations so much more clear eyed, and approach them fairly and don't avoid tackling them in case someone may be upset. Had more promotions and opportunities in past 5 years, than the previous 25. I sound like a monster or perhaps like a man?!

This thread is exactly what I needed to read! I am mid 40s and trying to up my game and change industries and role. Kids growing up. I am ready for the next part of my life to start!!

I'm so pleased that I never neglected my career. I'm not being disrespectful of their choices, but other mums I know went down the route of becoming more & more part-time, working say 15 hours a week, taking off as much time in school holidays as possible and avoiding training opportunities. Now they are going to find it so much harder if they decide to get back on the career ladder, especially if they suddenly have to top up student finance. Make the most of your drive & determination OP.

Yep. In 54 and switched to a startup from corporate world 2 years ago. It's brilliant, hard work and so much fun. I don't give a shit about promotion anymore, just doing the stuff I'm good at and avoiding the politics which bore me to tears. I was only saying the other day that the only regret I have re this latest job move is that I only have 5 or so years to enjoy it and earn from it , rather than 20 or so that I'd like (I won't work forever as I have personal stuff to do and can't fit it all in if I stay working at this pace)

I've always worked full time though even when the kids were little. I regret that a bit as I missed out a lot, but many of my ante natal friends who didn't have to work ended up on anti depressants as they were so fed up and confined being at home.

Like everything it's a balance and we don't always get it right.

But yes, 50s are proving to offer freedom and confidence, and quite a few wrinkles which I'm trying to embrace. . I'm in the Helen Mirren school of ageing "my advice to my younger self would be to tell more people to fuck off, more often" . Yep, great advice Helen