Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

mental health discrimination

59 replies

APerson · 26/02/2020 09:20

I am on sick leave from work. I have anxiety and stress due to bullying and discrimination which I have a grievance against my manager about.

My GP has encouraged me to do as much as possible to keep my mind active and to distract myself. So I have been going to the gym, walks with my dog and I have started a Psychology course online. I also told work OH when I was referred and OH also agreed it would help with my MH. I told my HR manager who also said the course sounded interesting. I am using my own money.

Now my line manager is complaining that I shouldn't be studying if I am off work sick with stress.

Is this discrimination? I am saying it is but now HR (the same HR who said it was okay) are saying "why do you think it is discrimination"?

I got the okay from GP and OH, and also HR but now its a problem? I'm trying to keep my mind distracted and aid my recovery.

OP posts:
Gingernaut · 26/02/2020 09:23

Not discrimination, however it does sound like it's an extension of the bullying (possibly harassment) you've gone off sick about.

Talk to your OH about what your line manager said.

YakkityYakYakYak · 26/02/2020 09:27

I think it’s reasonable for you let HR team to ask why you think this is discrimination. If you think that it is you should be able to explain why. The same goes for your wider grievance, if you are claiming bullying and discrimination it’s fair for the HR team or investigators to explore with you why you feel like this.

YakkityYakYakYak · 26/02/2020 09:28

Sorry typo - ‘your’ HR team not ‘you let’

73Sunglasslover · 26/02/2020 09:48

I don't see this as discrimination but I also don't see it as reasonable. You need to do something to reduce your stress levels and are taking sensible steps to do so.

PurpleDaisies · 26/02/2020 09:50

Discrimination means something specific. This doesn’t sound like it but they shouldn’t be contacting you on sick leave to tell you off about activities your doctor has told you to do.

MrsPinkCock · 26/02/2020 09:52

No, it isn’t discrimination.

It also doesn’t appear that HR have a problem with it?

Gingernaut · 26/02/2020 09:54

HR don't have a problem with, but the line manager does.

The OP needs to complain about the LM's comments.

GinDrinker00 · 26/02/2020 09:55

Your line manager probably sees it in the way of your to stressed to work, so why are you adding extra stress to your plate doing a study course. Doesn’t sound like HR have a issue with it and it’s not discrimination your line manager is just a bullying dick. You don’t need to tell them what you’re doing while off sick, so maybe just keep quiet and try not to have contact with the manager for now.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 26/02/2020 10:01

why don't you just look for another job?

if you are well enough for the gym and studying, you are well enough for work. Your place is toxic for you, just find another one. That would be the most sensible thing to do!

If you are on full pay, you are taking the piss. If you are on statutory sick pay, which is not much, you'd be better off working elsewhere anyway.

RB68 · 26/02/2020 10:18

Boss is assuming its general stress rather than specific to the work place - its like saying if you are ill you should be in bed - no hanging out the washing etc. Life goes on, I would have no guilt about the studying at all - its something you want to do and contains no element that is stressful FOR YOU. I would just reiterate the stress is around the work situation and grievance issues that are logged

HaddawayAndShite · 26/02/2020 10:22

Not discrimination, however it does sound like it's an extension of the bullying (possibly harassment) you've gone off sick about.
This. Are HR aware of the bullying and is anything being done about it?

Honestly, another one advocating looking for another job. I had to leave my last job for similar reasons and it’s 100% made me a happier person. I was stressed about money and out of work for several months but honestly, it was worth it not to be crying and suicidal every day.

Original poster
APerson · 26/02/2020 10:58

I'm looking for another job but no luck yet which is making me depressed too.

My line managers (more than one) are cunts and I'm going through the grievance process and I have a union rep.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 26/02/2020 11:11

If your GP would agree that your course, is a form of therapy or aids your recovery, then it could be discrimination.
Because they wouldn't argue with you having to go for walks, or swimming if you had a broken bone.

Elle7rose · 26/02/2020 14:22

Yes it could be discrimination if it is completed as a form of therapy e.g. 'Behavioural Activation'.

You could briefly explain that you are doing the course on guidance of your GP, as part of a recovery process and that the requirements of the course are radically different from the requirements of your work.

Olliephaunt4eyes · 26/02/2020 14:24

if you are well enough for the gym and studying, you are well enough for work.

That's really not how it works.

BeNiceToYourSister · 26/02/2020 21:09

if you are well enough for the gym and studying, you are well enough for work.

Unfortunately I see this kind of attitude a lot at work. It is ENTIRELY possible to be driven to depression/anxiety by adverse circumstances (e.g. being bullied at work) and still be able to function in other areas outside that environment. Why on earth should OP have to find a new job because her manager can’t act reasonably? The onus should be on the company to stamp out bullying behaviour. Finding a job at the right level/right hours, etc isn’t exactly easy these days!

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 26/02/2020 23:20

if you are well enough for the gym and studying, you are well enough for work.

Absolute bollocks. I'm also currently signed of with depression, stress and anxiety following a number of bereavements. My work began to suffer before I had a breakdown. Poor concentration, no appetite, having to frequently go to the toilets to cry, IBS, chronic insomnia, bad memory and more.

Since being signed off, my insomnia is still horrendous. I fall asleep at 5am and either get a couple of hours, or sleep until lunchtime. I'm so exhausted by being up all night that I sleep through three alarms at 7am, so how I'm going to get back to a sleep rhythm before I return to work is beyond me.

My GP and counsellor have both said while I'm off to ensure I don't stay indoors for days on end, but to get out the house, force myself to do hobbies, go shopping and meet up with friends. Which I've been doing, where possible.

My work's occupational health assessor had also deemed me currently unfit for work, with a phased return when I do go back. They too said to make sure I get out as much as I'm comfortable with.

@APerson - OP you do best for you.

Original poster
APerson · 27/02/2020 06:42

Finding a job at the right level/right hours, etc isn’t exactly easy these days!

exactly the scenario I'm facing :(

HR have told me they are looking into this further so that is good news at least.

OP posts:
bingbangbing · 27/02/2020 06:59

I'm in almost the same situation. Shit isn't it.

Very relieved to see @justincasecakehappens being roundly refuted!

erinaceus · 27/02/2020 06:59

I recommend strictly discussing your fitness for work with OH. Your LM is out of order to make these statements though many do.

How did your LM get to know what you were up to when on sick leave? In hindsight I wish I had been more cagey about my health with my LM and let all communication go via official channels e.g. complied with OH; the implication that I ought to pull my socks up rather undid me in the end and I complained RE discrimination. My situation was a bit less complicated as I was not off work due to work pressure/bullying per se, the MH stuff was more my side.

HR intervened as my LM was in the wrong, I managed to avoid a formal grievance and settled the matter informally but would have gone through a formal grievance process if I had to. I have resigned my role and am (as others have suggested) going to see if I can figure out a working pattern that fits better with my MH needs. (Wish me luck with that (!))

HeartWreckage · 27/02/2020 07:10

if you are well enough for the gym and studying, you are well enough for work

Wow, just when you think all the mental health campaigns might be having an impact on the overwhelming ignorance out there.......

curlsnotfrizz · 27/02/2020 08:08

you can only be discriminated against on the basis of being treated differently on the basis of certain protected characteristics (sex, religion, disability, marital status, pregnancy). Having a sick note for stress and anxiety doesn't fall under it but it might be an extension of the bullying.

Original poster
APerson · 27/02/2020 10:11

I'm not entirely sure how he found out but he did. I'm really very careful about what I do online (SM all set to private) and struggle to go outside because a, I don't feel like it and b, I'm afraid of being seen and someone going Hmm which ended up happening anyway!

OP posts:
erinaceus · 27/02/2020 13:02

Yes my MH problems reach the level of disability which is why I was able to talk about discrimination, this does not apply to shorter term periods of illness, I agree.

Pukkatea · 27/02/2020 13:31

Your HR aren't asking to be upsetting but because discrimination from your line manager would be a different thing that they would have to deal with with specific procedures, so they would want to start off by gathering evidence of what discrimination you think is occurring. If it doesn't fall under the definition they can then advise you of this. They're just ticking their boxes and investigating a complaint, not telling you you're a problem.

Swipe left for the next trending thread