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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

mental health discrimination

59 replies

APerson · 26/02/2020 09:20

I am on sick leave from work. I have anxiety and stress due to bullying and discrimination which I have a grievance against my manager about.

My GP has encouraged me to do as much as possible to keep my mind active and to distract myself. So I have been going to the gym, walks with my dog and I have started a Psychology course online. I also told work OH when I was referred and OH also agreed it would help with my MH. I told my HR manager who also said the course sounded interesting. I am using my own money.

Now my line manager is complaining that I shouldn't be studying if I am off work sick with stress.

Is this discrimination? I am saying it is but now HR (the same HR who said it was okay) are saying "why do you think it is discrimination"?

I got the okay from GP and OH, and also HR but now its a problem? I'm trying to keep my mind distracted and aid my recovery.

OP posts:
JustInCaseCakeHappens · 27/02/2020 13:50

HeartWreckage
it's true though!

Original poster
APerson · 27/02/2020 15:20

@JustInCaseCakeHappens

Please share your medical qualifications with the thread before claiming its true though

If you have no medical qualifications to share then kindly fuck off to the far side of fuck

OP posts:
LakieLady · 27/02/2020 15:25

For depression, study and exercise can often be quite therapeutic. Your manager is an arse, OP.

Vulpine · 27/02/2020 15:25

So theyre all 'cunts' - niceHmm

Original poster
APerson · 27/02/2020 16:15

@Vulpine

You have no idea, and I've kept the majority of it off this thread for privacy reasons

OP posts:
JustInCaseCakeHappens · 27/02/2020 18:26

then kindly fuck off to the far side of fuck
do people still use that ridiculous expression?

You can't have it both ways APerson, simple as that. To summarize it short and sweet.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 27/02/2020 18:27

b, I'm afraid of being seen

which exactly proves the point!

bingbangbing · 27/02/2020 18:28

@JustInCaseCakeHappens

Why are you spilling this utter bilge?

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 27/02/2020 18:32

the fact that you disagree with me doesn't mean I am wrong 🤷
I don't even need to swear or insult posters to express it, there's really no need to get irate in a discussion.

bingbangbing · 27/02/2020 18:36

No, the fact that you're clearly on a wind up trip makes you wrong.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 27/02/2020 18:43

I know for some posters calling "troll" or "wind up" everyone disagrees with them is a game. If you are trying to stop the discussion, it doesn't work.

Again, you can't have it both ways. Unlike you bingbangbing I am not going into a fight, I am just stating facts. You can try to derail the issue as much as you want, it doesn't change these facts. It is doing people who are genuinely unwell a huge disfavour, that's what is most annoying.

SignOnTheWindow · 27/02/2020 18:43

JustInCaseCakeHappens clearly knows next to nothing about the depression and its effective treatment.

@bingbangbing I think you're absolutely right about this poster being on a wind up trip.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 27/02/2020 18:44

Oh, I just remember you from another thread, I leave you to it Grin

bingbangbing · 27/02/2020 18:45

Think they're probably of the 'pull yourself together' variety.

Why is MN full of passive aggressive bullshit at the moment?

iklboo · 27/02/2020 18:46

People with mental health problems are genuinely unwell.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 27/02/2020 18:47

well, when MNHQ has to delete some posts from a goady poster, it shows where the wind up comes from, that's all we need to know.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 27/02/2020 18:48

People with mental health problems are genuinely unwell.
Absolutely!

But either you are unwell or you are not , and abusing the system is unhelpful, that was my point.

bingbangbing · 27/02/2020 18:49

You have a point?

Care to elaborate?

SignOnTheWindow · 27/02/2020 18:54

The OP is not 'abusing the system'. This is exactly the kind of thing that the many people involved in my care encouraged me to do when I was recovering after my MH crisis.

iklboo · 27/02/2020 19:20

A mental illness isn't like its portrayed on tv. There's not necessarily lying in a darkened room under the blankets, staggering around in scruffy clothes, tearing your hair, drooling and crying. Medical professionals encourage sufferers to do stuff that takes their mind off their worries and major triggers. For OP her major trigger is the bullying & harassment at work.

It doesn't mean OP is swinging the lead, taking the piss or any other trite metaphor.

Byllis · 27/02/2020 21:16

Why do people persist in thinking that ill = lying in bed, unable to do anything. Makes sense if you have the flu, but getting out and being active part of the recovery for anxiety and depression!

For all the awareness raising, I think actual awareness of MH issues is poor. Many people have their preconceived ideas about MH and they aren't going to change them easily.

I totally get why studying would be therapeutic. And I don't think there is a GP or therapist in existence who wouldn't recommend exercise!

Olliephaunt4eyes · 28/02/2020 16:44

The last time I was off work sick due to MH I went to the gym regularly as exercise is an important part of distracting myself and getting myself focused on real life. I read a lot of books, and could have studied.

I was also periodically hearing voices, hallucinating and saying very odd things to people. I was 100% not fit nor appropriate for the workplace. Despite what some commentators on this thread think.

Vulpine · 28/02/2020 16:52

So being depressed means calling people cunts and telling posters to fuck off

Original poster
APerson · 29/02/2020 07:09

I got some good news late last night from my union rep that my manager is going to be disciplined. Not sure about the grievance outcome but union rep says its looking positive.

OP posts:
Jimmers · 29/02/2020 08:19

That’s good news, @APerson. Hopefully you’ll be on road to recovery soon. Sounds like you’re heeding advice from the professionals regarding self-care. Well done on that - it’s difficult to do when suffering from MH.

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