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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Food Shaming

49 replies

WTAFFF · 25/02/2020 16:53

I’m pretty angry right now. My DP has critiqued everything I have eaten today.

From ‘how much of that are you going to have eat?’ to ‘you’re not having a second can of Diet Coke are you?!’

This irrationally annoys me. I’ve lost ten Kgs recently and am heading in a really good direction.

But his input is not helpful and I feel like he is attempting to shame me. When I asked why he felt it necessary to try to prevent me from having a second can of Diet Coke (these are small cans and we have 24 for £5 from the local discount store) he said he was attempting to help me budget. So it’s not even about the health impacts of fizzy drinks.

Also, after he questioned me about how much of a particular food I was planning on eating, he then took it off me and ate double the amount I had.

AIBU to be annoyed by this? Does anyone else have this?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 25/02/2020 16:54

Just tell him you’re the boss of your body and eating and to piss off. No one’s ever done this to me. I’d eat them.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 25/02/2020 16:59

God I hate this kind of thing!

Just tell him your an adult, and will eat and drink whatever the hell you like....

Original poster
WTAFFF · 25/02/2020 18:11

I’m pleased it’s not just me that’s irritated by this then!

OP posts:
PrincessHoneysuckle · 25/02/2020 18:13

Hes either jealous of your weight loss or thinks hes trying to help you by reminding you of what you ate eating/drinking.Either way is annoying af.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 25/02/2020 18:13

That would drive me mad, I'd tell him to piss off in no uncertain terms!

ShagMeRiggins · 25/02/2020 18:16

Is he at an ideal weight and great with budgets? Hmm

Doesn’t matter—he needs to stay out of it or state what he’s really trying to say—but I’m being nosy.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 25/02/2020 18:16

Hell no , that sort of behaviour is incredibly infantilising and I refuse to stand for it.

Unless there is a massive drip feed where you spent last months mortgage payment on small diet coke cans I would call him out on it

" you are not trying to help, you are trying to be superior. I am neither a child or horribly unreliable so by trying to decide my budget by restricting what I eat says more about your need to control and be superior than it does about me. I am warning you this is not ok"

Or alternatively " who the hell do you think you are speaking to me like that?"

My favourite is the second obviously

Dp doesn't do this on the grounds he doesn't think I'm a child , and would prefer not to be kicked out of the house , but my exmil did....until I started at comment one , led to comment 2 and she learnt her lesson (I mean to be fair she did a huge amount more on separate issues and got banned from my house but at least she learnt that particular lesson quickly).

Sonichu · 25/02/2020 18:17

Look him dead in the eye and down the can in one.

NailsNeedDoing · 25/02/2020 18:19

Was he like this before you started to lose weight?

Userpompom · 25/02/2020 18:19

Even if he's the perfect weight it's still totally unacceptable. Is he normally such a dick?

Shinyletsbebadguys · 25/02/2020 18:20

Can I also just say that it would be a cold day in hell before I allowed DP to "take" anything let alone food or drink off of me.

I've lost just under 8 stone in the last year but neither before , when I was obese, or now would he ever have confiscated anything from me (possibly as he would still lose a hand trying even after the weight loss)

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 25/02/2020 18:20

Look him dead in the eye and down the can in one. Then belch "Fuuuuuck you" Grin

Original poster
WTAFFF · 25/02/2020 18:31

He’s a bit overweight but not noticeably so. He’s always been the type to offer unsolicited advice about various subjects.

I like the idea of downing the can in one!

OP posts:
AriadnesFilament · 25/02/2020 18:32

Do it to him

HaddawayAndShite · 25/02/2020 18:34

I would have chugged the can without breaking eye contact, then burped in his face, then opened another and gave him the finger.
Is he this controlling in other areas? It's a red flag for me for sure.

Thurmanmurman · 25/02/2020 18:36

Eat him

alfagirl73 · 25/02/2020 18:38

He took the food off you?! Were you done with it or did he do it like he was confiscating it from you? Like he decided you had had enough?! Assuming I hadn't ejected him from the premises he'd be getting read the riot act if that was me. How dare he?! I say go for a 3rd can of coke and let him know in no uncertain terms that commenting on your food/drink is not acceptable and not up for discussion either! Btw well done on your amazing weight loss! :-) xx

Original poster
WTAFFF · 25/02/2020 18:38

I asked him how low an opinion he had about my intelligence if he thought I wasn’t capable of realising how many cans were left and making a decision accordingly.

Apparently he was just trying to help.

OP posts:
JingsMahBucket · 25/02/2020 18:39

@Thurmanmurman the praying mantis advice columnist!! 😂

Original poster
WTAFFF · 25/02/2020 18:40

I was done with it, as he had spoilt my enjoyment of it. Perhaps that was his aim.

OP posts:
PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 25/02/2020 18:40

Unless there is a massive drip feed where you spent last months mortgage payment on small diet coke cans

That made me spit out my tea!

Original poster
WTAFFF · 25/02/2020 18:41

😂😂 I definitely didn’t spend last months mortgage payment on Diet Coke cans!!

OP posts:
MrMeSeeks · 25/02/2020 18:41

No as i would kill anyone who attempted to tell me what i could and could not eat and drink

alfagirl73 · 25/02/2020 18:42

Argh I can't stand people who say they're "just trying to help" when actually they're being rude, condescending, insulting and basically need to mind their own business.

ALongHardWinter · 25/02/2020 18:44

He took it off you? If my Dp had tried that with me he'd have ended up wearing it!

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