To think my toddler is just being stubborn with words?!

[MotherToAStubbornOne]

My 21 month old is weird when it comes to talking. For background she babbles in her own language non stop but still isn’t talking. She can say things like Daddy, Eat, Bye, Night, More, Ball, Doggy... she has maybe 10/15 words that she’s uses semi regularly. However she goes some days without saying more then 2 or 3 ‘real’ words. I’ve recently started to teach her some sign language and that’s helped her pick up some more words such as Eat and More as mentioned above. She does the sign language for drink but she says ‘weeee’ instead..

Anyway, the thing that I’m finding frustrating is that she says new words once or twice and then never again. For instance yesterday Waffle the dog was on and she said ‘Waffle’ about 3 times and then refused to say it again. And today she said ‘sticker’ whilst we were looking at some stickers but again, she refuses to say it again. She probably has about 50 words that she has said/used to say but won’t anymore. Sometimes she says a word clearly and then when she tries again it comes out all weird like ‘thank you’ for instance. Oh and recently (about a month ago actually) she had a day where she picked up 5 or 6 new words in one day but she’s gone backwards again since then.

Has anyone else experienced this? I know kids all talk at their own pace but it’s frustrating when I know she can say a lot more than she is. She gets so annoyed when I don’t understand her babbling too so it’s not like she doesn’t want to be able to communicate!

Sorry if that’s long winded, I’m not the best writer.

One of my other children was very independent too. His first “sentence” was “ Dooit masel” ( I can do it myself ).

Awwh that’s so cute!

She is very determined (maybe that’s a better word to use in place of stubborn) and spent 20 mins solid one evening learning how to put her socks on by herself. Now she spends all day taking them off and putting them back on again

Thanks again for the helpful advice @Double3xposure

@Lweji I don’t correct her words. If I know what she means I go along with it. For example if she says “mah you” instead of “thank you” I don’t correct her.

I used the word stubborn because she can be stubborn in lots of ways. I don’t think my OP described the situation very well either. As I said, I’m not very good with words (or explaining myself all in one go). And it’s hard when people are judging you based on a short paragraph

You in particular have made incorrect assumptions!!!

Determination is a very good character trait to have in life. It doesn’t make for the easiest toddler to parent but you have to take a long term view .

In that case I repeat - chose your control battles carefully.

Only chose those you can win.

You can never win - what they say, what goes into or out of their body ( food, poop, pee) , what they do at nursery or school.

@Double3xposure Yes it’s definitely a good trait for her to have!

And you’re right about what we can’t control... except food to a certain extent! My nephew will only eat rubbish freezer food so I try not to offer anything like that. Just incase she refuses to eat anything else

I would get her on the list for speech and language therapy and a hearing test just to check if there is a reason she is so behind eg glue ear or something easily fixed.

She sounds like DS and a lot of other kids that age. DS helpfully says "yes" or "no" if we ask him if he can say a particular word. It feels like they aren't advancing, but then you realise that 5 or 6 more words have slid into regular usage and he's randomly saying purple again when he points at a purple truck after not saying it for months. It's quite natural to be trying to communicate with your toddler, and for 21 months she really isn't behind because she's trying to communicate and using some words as well as understanding you, so unless there's anything else worrying you just keep on and see where she gets to by the 27 month check. Maybe join a mums group with other toddlers, they tend to be more helpful than AIBU and know what real toddlers are like at these ages.

She’s still very little - it’ll almost certainly come in her own good time.

Unless there are SEN, I wouldn’t bother with sign language - it takes away the incentive to speak.

FWIW, the speech of my 3 Gdcs exploded not long after they were 2.
OTOH a BiL apparently barely uttered until he was 3 (MiL told me she’d been getting very worried) but once he started, it came out in whole, correct sentences. He’d just been taking it all in and biding his time. He eventually went on to win a scholarship to Cambridge.

Hello! She is now 5 and talks circles around us. Once she turned 2 her speech snowballed. I now have a 14 month old who has a lot of words already and signs to go along with some words like ‘more’ and ‘daa doo’ (thank you). So she’s quite different from her big sis as she mimics absolutely everything!

What a great update @MotherToAStubbornOne . And congratulations on your second child - are they as stubborn as number one? 😀

@Double3xposure

Haha no she isn’t actually, not so far anyway. He sister is a stubborn as ever though! She still does everything in her own time and her own way. It’s very hard to get her to do her reading practice and if she gets something wrong she will argue its actually correct!!😅but she is also very determined which I love about her. It’s interesting to see
their personalities form so young!

I agree, it’s fascinating how different they can be, even from babies.
IME stubborn is very wearing when they are toddlers and small children but quite a good thing when they are teens, as they are less likely to be led astray or fall in with the wrong crowd.

Also less likely to be dependent on social media etc for approval or desperate to be in with the cools kids in high school.

Glad to hear that DD1 is talking up a storm, she is probably the reason that Dd2 is talking so quickly, to keep up.