How much does the wealth of the bridal couple affect your wedding present gift

[AnnDaloozier]

going to a wedding if an older couple. In UK but needs a flight, hotel etc. Fair enough.
Then I look at the gift list. No gifts - just donations to honeymoon. This also fine. BUT they’re loaded. Really loads of spare money

How can I donate without looking stingy. How much would you donate?.
WIBU to not donate?! 😱

The wealth of the couple doesn’t affect how much I give them as a present. What affects how much I give is how close we are, how much it has cost to attend the wedding and how much is in my current account.

If you can’t afford to get them a present (donation) with the cost of flights and hotel, then get them a card. Otherwise, put what you feel appropriate in based on the other factors. It doesn’t matter that ‘they’re loaded’, it’s a gift.

Wealth doesn't affect any gift I give.
If you're worried about them thinking you're stingy I'd consider whether you're close enough to bother going to the effort of attending.

I don't understand why people waste so much time and effort on people they hardly know.

The wealth doesn’t affect anything I give. I give what I want and what I can afford

Maybe they've spent all their money on the wedding, or maybe they just don't need any stuff.

It wouldn't make a difference to how much I gave as a gift because you never really know someone else's financial situation

A £20 note in a card is my standard for everyone except niece and nephew who'll get £100.

How do you know?
So many people claim intimate knowledge of other people's finances. Yet I, for instance, never disclose how much I have in the bank to anyone, and I don't know anyone who does.
And appearances can be very deceiving
People have debt, they lease fancy cars, and sometimes they lie about how much they earn

Their wealth wouldn't influence how much I give .

I know some MNers disagree wholeheartedly, but I'm from the old fashioned school that the present should cover the dinner prices, so if my DH and I attend a wedding, gift price would be at least £80, that would increase based on closeness to the couple. Over £100 for close friends. However, the marrying couple's wealth I would see as irrelevant.

Guys guys! I like them. I know what jobs they have that’s how I know they’re loaded.

How much am I giving

So? £100? Still seems a pittance some how

I think £100 is ok especially as you have travel costs. I had guests giving me £100 for the honeymoon and some a lot more, and some guests (with travel costs) made small thoughtful gifts. It really doesn’t matter that much to the couple I think.

They probably just didn’t want their house to fill up with more stuff.

It doesn't at all: the wealth of me is a much more pertinent factor

I don't see why you wouldn't donate at all but it's not a problem at all to make a donation of around the cost of a gift you'd take (if there were a list).

Enjoy the day

Don't be daft, OP. £100 Is bloody generous.

All equal and the same to me: 10 /- and a nice message for everyone.

I try to cover what it must have cost for them to invite me and DP, so around £100, or £200 if closer family

So? £100? Still seems a pittance some how

Oh, £100 is plenty, plenty, plenty. I suspect that many offerings will be less. Don't overstretch yourself. Give willingly what you can and enjoy it all.

£100 is plenty.

I've given currency before as in dollars and said have 'dinner on us' to celebrate.

Never feels right actually paying towards a holiday.

And I think it makes a massive difference if they are wealthy and established

Old school here too. Cover your plate with £50 on top. Otherwise- if you know where they are going on holiday their destination currency.

I don’t think the ‘cover your plate’ rule works most of the time now. Or I certainly couldn’t afford to cover my plate and add £50. Our wedding was £46.50pp (4 years ago) and that was in a budget hotel, up north, in the off-season. I’ve been to weddings and the cost pp would have been £70-80. For DH and I to attend, that would have been £140-160 (without the additional £50) and maybe £210 with (I’d round down to £200). There is no way I can afford £200 plus the costs of attending the wedding.

OP, I think £100 is plenty but it depends slightly on your circle. The usual in my circle for close friends is £50-£100, depending on what you can afford.

£20 in a nice card unless relatives.
Don't feel stingy as we're at the lots of weddings age and most of our friends gave us £20/give others £20...it seems the standard here (millenials! lots of friends were students/in bad jobs till late 20s)

Ooh dinner a great line

Thank you everyone. I’ll dither between 50-100

50 is fine Op

£50 is my standard amount (gift card, I don't do cash) unless very close family if I've travelled