To have 3 children in one room?

[bandasilver]

Hiya, long time lurker but first time poster. I currently live in a very small 2 bed terrace council house. I am currently bidding to get a 3 bed, but as I have a living room and dining room they class that as what could be used as bedrooms and also say DC3 can stay in my room until they’re 5, so I am very low priority (completely fine with this, others are in much more need than me).

DC3 is at an age now where I am not getting much sleep with me next to her, she is currently in a cot in my room. I am considering moving her in with her siblings who are DD ages 4 and DS aged 3. Their room is massive, they currently have a bunk bed in there plus a double set of drawers and a cupboard that is used as a wardrobe. There is more than enough space for a cot, still with plenty of floor space, although the DC don’t use their room to play.

I have considered getting a sofa bed but at the minute I don’t have the money to do that, it also means I have to sleep in the living room, where the front door opens right into it. I’m a really light sleeper so if someone walks past the house/a car drives past I will wake up. I could also have a bed in the dining room which currently has a small dining table but is used mainly as a playroom. However, that leads right into the stairs and the kitchen.

This isn’t what I want long-term, and hopefully witching the next 5 years I will be able to afford to rent or a council house will have come through. I’m completely prepared to be told IABU, and if that’s the case I will just grin and bear it and sleep in the dining room. But to me it seems like a better solution to put all 3 in together in the big room, only for sleeping. They can still have a playroom. My big 2 sleep well together and have both said they don’t mind sharing with little one.

So AIBU to put all 3 in the same room and keep my bedroom until they get older?

Sounds completely sensible.

Why on earth wouldn't you?

You will attract the vitriol of some posters who believe the parent should have the biggest bedroom, smugly renamed the "master bedroom"

but back in the real world, nothing wrong with sharing. You can't pull bedrooms out of thin air. The arrangement won't work so well when they are older, but younger siblings tend to love sleepovers and sharing rooms.

I can't see a single objection. There is nothing wrong with three children sharing a room that is large enough to accommodate them.

There’s no rule that says it’s ok for 2 children to share a room but not 3, especially if there’s room. Seems like the most sensible option to me if you’re sure the baby won’t disturb the older two or vice versa.

Of course it’s ok. They are only babies, not a problem at all

My only concern with your set up would be once DC3 is old enough to get in and out of bed/cot and could potentially climb up the bunk beds - but that would be something for you to address at a later date.

If the three sleep well together in one room and you get more sleep by yourself in another room, it makes perfect sense to have that setup.

Of course it's fine. What's the difference with 2 sharing and 3 sharing. They are still very young. Go for it.

Sounds like the best solution especially if they have room to play downstairs

Thanks all, seems I was just being silly. I just didn’t want people to think I cared more about my space that the DC’s. It definitely won’t last forever, and if god forbid I can’t manage to rent or get a bigger house then I will just set a bed up downstairs for me and move DS into the smaller room and the girls can share the big one.

@WinterCat you make a good point about the bunk bed and DC3 climbing up it. It’s only one of them short bunk beds which makes me worry less, but they’re always supervised other than bed time. And usually when they wake up they just come into my room, so hopefully that continues

Id do exactly the same.

I think it’s absolutely fine. Growing up I had a friend who shared a room with her 3 sisters. They had a bigger room than their parents and had 2 sets of bunk beds. I remember going round as a teenager and it was a lovely room. The girls were all different ages, but didn’t seem to mind at all (at least they never made it known if they did). The 3rd bedroom was a tiny box room and was given to the eldest of the 5 girls. I think what you’re suggesting is sensible.

I don’t get why you wouldn’t use the dining room? You are lucky to have one. In my area that would be classed as a bedroom so you wouldn’t be overcrowded (though I think that’s what you said in your post aswell?)

As long as you don't think it would impact your other kids' sleep schedules, I'd say that's absolutely fine. I also assume that they go to bed at roughly the same time and you go to bed later, which means that putting them in the same room makes more sense than sleeping with you.

I'd not sleep downstairs unless you have to. Space during the day is more important than sleeping space, as long as everyone has room to sleep.

@PumpkinP yep, because of the dining room we aren’t overcrowded. I have stated that. I wouldn’t like to use it as I don’t really like not being on the same door as them whilst they’re little and also the stairs lead straight into the dining room and so does the kitchen, so we will be walking past my room all the time and it could be a hinderance to have a bed there. It isn’t like we can just shut a door and forget about it. It is also the DC’s playroom and I think the reason they sleep so well is because they don’t play in their room, so I’d rather not put their toys in with them as I think it would stop them sleeping through.

Obviously though, if it doesn’t work out, or as the DC get bigger and need their own space then I will move into the dining room.

I think I will try DC3 sharing and see how it goes.

@Nancydrawn I don’t think it would affect the other DC. Maybe for the first couple of nights because of the excitement, but after they get used to it I can imagine they’d settle well. They’re all very deep sleepers and they know that when the light goes off that it’s time to sleep. I haven’t had any trouble with the older 2, they just go straight to sleepz. They all go to bed at the same time

I have done this in the past - 3 girls, fairly close in age, bunks and a single bed. Worked pretty well apart from the occasional territorial dispute!

If they each have a safe sleeping space then of course you're not unreasonable to have three in a room. It seems incredibly sensible to me!

It's not something I would do though I'm not sure quite why as two of mine would like to share. That said I think it'll be fine given they're still young and have a playroom. I think the playroom makes all the difference in this case as the DC just require a bed and clothes in their room for now. My DC never attempted to climb out their cot so you could be lucky on that front too.

When we had three kids, we had to have them all in the same room because they cried if separated! They would all end up in the same bed if we put them in separate rooms, at least they stayed in their own beds this way.

You can only work with what you have. I just told my story because it sometimes works well for the kids and even if they don't like it as much as mine did, it isn't the end of the world.

I think that's fine.
Fingers crossed a house comes up for you soon

Don't even contemplate a sofa bed downstairs for your self you need your own bedroom. The three of them in one room is fine. I grew up in a large family and at one time there was three of us in one bed! Didn't do me any harm

We have all our three together. It's fine 😊

Thank you all! You’ve made me feel so much better. I’ll put DD’s cot in the big ones room over the weekend, so if it doesn’t go to plan it won’t affect how tired they are for school. I will come back and update you all with how it went

I have 3 boys all in the same room,its the master bedroom.My other son has his own room and we sleep downstairs.Its fine to do this.

I would do as you suggest, I would want to be near the dcs at night, and being in a separate room you can read in bed, listen to music, watch TV etc.

You have the toys in one area where you can supervise them so it works fine for you as a family atm