To have 3 children in one room?

[bandasilver]

Hiya, long time lurker but first time poster. I currently live in a very small 2 bed terrace council house. I am currently bidding to get a 3 bed, but as I have a living room and dining room they class that as what could be used as bedrooms and also say DC3 can stay in my room until they’re 5, so I am very low priority (completely fine with this, others are in much more need than me).

DC3 is at an age now where I am not getting much sleep with me next to her, she is currently in a cot in my room. I am considering moving her in with her siblings who are DD ages 4 and DS aged 3. Their room is massive, they currently have a bunk bed in there plus a double set of drawers and a cupboard that is used as a wardrobe. There is more than enough space for a cot, still with plenty of floor space, although the DC don’t use their room to play.

I have considered getting a sofa bed but at the minute I don’t have the money to do that, it also means I have to sleep in the living room, where the front door opens right into it. I’m a really light sleeper so if someone walks past the house/a car drives past I will wake up. I could also have a bed in the dining room which currently has a small dining table but is used mainly as a playroom. However, that leads right into the stairs and the kitchen.

This isn’t what I want long-term, and hopefully witching the next 5 years I will be able to afford to rent or a council house will have come through. I’m completely prepared to be told IABU, and if that’s the case I will just grin and bear it and sleep in the dining room. But to me it seems like a better solution to put all 3 in together in the big room, only for sleeping. They can still have a playroom. My big 2 sleep well together and have both said they don’t mind sharing with little one.

So AIBU to put all 3 in the same room and keep my bedroom until they get older?

We have all our three together. It's fine 😊

I had all 3 in together for about 3 years. They loved sharing but DC3 did climb up into the bunk and sleep with DC1 quite often. DC1 got his own box room age 8. It did smell a bit stale sometimes in the morning if the windows were tightly closed so needed to be well ventilated. I could lock the windows slightly ajar which helped.

I have my 3 girls all sharing a room and they always have done since quite small. In fact we have only recently got rid of the triple bunk bed we had for them.
They have the largest bedroom and there are the usual sibling squabbles but mostly it works well. They have space downstairs for homework and for hair and make up (they are teens now).

In your case OP it sounds a very sensible solution, plus you will be upstairs sleeping which I think is better while they are small and may need you in the night.

It's fairly recent that kids having their own rooms became a thing.

I grew up as one of seven in a 3 bedroom house. I share a room (2 bunks) with 3 brothers until I was 9 - and my eldest brother was by then 17. At that stage mum and dad did go in the smallest room (in bunks ) little brother 4 went in with the boys and I moved with my 2 sisters into the second bedroom - also in bunks.

My ex was one of 10 in a 3 bed and 6 girls slept in a double bunk.

Certainly not saying that anyone should do that now - or even that it was great then

It seems perfectly sensible to me, and is exactly what I’d do in your situation. Also agree with the poster who said that downstairs daytime space is more important than sleeping space so in your position I’d keep the dining room as it is too. your 3 are close in age and are so little, it’s not as if you’ve got one playing computer games or wanting to do homework in there while the others need to sleep.

I have 2, and 1 on the way, and my 2 boys each have their own bedroom (bunk beds in each room) but 99% of the time they choose to sleep in the same room together - usually the bigger room but they sometimes choose the smaller room. It’s nice for little kids. When the baby comes they’re going to properly share so that the smallest room becomes the cot room - and I do have spare bedrooms but on another floor and I too would like to be on the same floor as them at their age, so even though I have the space for them to have their own rooms, they’re going to room together for a bit until they’re older. It’s not always best to fan everyone out into different sleeping spaces - it depends what works for you as a family and your plan sounds optimal for the spaces you have.

They can't expect you to use a room as a bedroom unless it is a properly enclosed private room. The dining room doesn't sound like it is. Is the living room completely enclosed with a normal door to it? Like a parlour type second reception room?

And even then there is precedent in English law that they still can't expect you to use a non-bedroom unless that is its long-established use.

So I would draw a plan of your house (including room measurements), and seek advice from Shelter on how many bedrooms you are legally considered to have, and you may turn out to be more overcrowded than the council thinks you are, which would give you higher priority for rehousing.

Also, are you on the Homeswapper website? You might find a mutual exchange that way.

@rosiejaune the living room is properly enclosed but the front door goes into the living room and leads right onto the street. I will try and push to be further up the priority list, but last time I asked they said DC3 is able to stay with me until she’s 5 so I’m not overcrowded. I don’t know if that is right or not.

I am on homeswapper but haven’t had much attention, my area isn’t extremely sought after and most people with a 3 bed aren’t looking to downsize.

Please excuse my awful drawing and handwriting but this is to give you an idea of the layout of the house. The drawing of the kids bedroom gives you an idea of how much floor space and room they still have, even with all 3 there. It’s bloody huge.

Your councils website will have their allocations policy and it’s different for every council. Mine allows 4 to a 1 bed before it’s “overcrowded” and 5 to a 2 bed so still wouldn’t be overcrowded, despite what pp says every council sets their own rules. Check your councils website.

I have 3 in a 2 bed and my 3 share, they all get on fine

I would just turn dining room into your bedroom, why wouldn't you? I wouldn't even bother applying for a 3 bedroom house, tbf you already have one!

At least you have a house................

Until fairly recently dc often shared rooms even in stately homes etc.
I really wouldn't worry about it OP. You have got the space you have.

YABU to have had another child when you don’t have room/finance to support yourself. People need to plan ahead!

But Yanbu to put them in together as long as DC3 won’t disturb them for school. Plenty of kids share when they are young are it’s all fine.

@callmeadoctor when did OP say she didn’t? She’s already said she’s going to make do with the space she has and is happy being low priority

@ButtonandPickle19 I don’t know about OP’s circumstances but when I fell pregnant with my 3rd my circumstances changed drastically and that is why we ended up with the place that we have. I think it’s a bit unhelpful to comment and potentially make OP feel bad when her child is already here

Why do you not get much sleep with her in with you? If she is up a lot in the night or is a noisy sleeper, won't that keep your other two awake?

I believe from when we renovated a house a room can be classed as a bedroom if it is above a set size and accessed from a communal area. You have mixed sex children though so eventually you will be higher priority due to actually requiring 3 beds.

Definitely put the kids in one room. A playroom is a godsend if you can get one. Means they don't have to have loads of stuff in their bedrooms.

It's ok for now because they're all so little and so close in age, especially as they also have a playroom. My 3 used to love to be allowed to share in school holidays until the eldest was 9 or so, and until around then it doesn't really matter for boy and girl young siblings to share.

Long term the girls will need to share the big room and your son have the dining room or the room you're in now and you the dining room. You obviously can't leave boys and girls sharing once any of them start puberty.

Sounds sensible to me!

I lived in a house like that (layout wise, with the exception that the bathroom was off the corridor at the top of the stairs not accessed through a bedroom) as a student and we had the dining room as a bedroom. 3 (young) adults lived there and the one with the big upstairs room paid slightly more rent (was the only one with room for a double bed plus wardrobe, drawers and desk - the other two of us only had room for a single bed, a desk and a wardrobe, no separate drawers, and that's how the house came furnished as student let's have to have a desk in each room).

It's definitely big enough for a parent and three children, but if you're still there in five years time you'll need to use the dining/ playroom as a bedroom for either your son or yourself.

No issue at that age, my eldest three shared until DC1 was six. I had another bedroom for him but they all liked sharing so had the huge master bedroom which worked well for us.

I have two 15 year olds and a 10 year old in together.

It's hell TBH but nothing I can do