I am resentful in helping my husband’s scouts activities

[Confuse2012]

My husband is a group scouts leader and he looks after the beavers, cubs and scouts. He is super dedicated and passionate about it and the children enjoy it too. However, I have never been passionate about it all, I help him with the admins, cooking for camps, help out with the occasion events but I have told him I do it because of my love for him and the children, nothing else. He just asked me to help out with a latest event (sleepover) because they are a leader short. He said the reason is because I forgot to give him a one of the child’s form before they organised the leaders. I said no as l really do not enjoy doing the sleepover and we had a row ( not the first time about the scout stuff) I said why is it ok that none of the other leaders partners help out and they are all fine with it but he makes me feel like a utter scum for not helping him! He’s really pissed off with me but I feel that I need to stand up to myself and not feel guilty by not help him? Am I being unreasonable though?

He sounds like a volatile, stroppy teen. Not a mature, caring man. He needs to grow up rapid style.

Clearly you’ve spoiled his plans by daring to have thoughts for a life of your own.

He’s being unreasonable. You’ve been so good to help him for so long the only thing I can fault you for is not giving him prior warning that you were jacking it in? Or perhaps you did and he didn’t listen.
He relied on you and took you for granted. So it’s been a real shock that you’re pulling back.

But he needs to stop throwing his toys out of the pram or he will shortly realise his washings, cooking, dishes, ironing, housework etc is no longer being done either.....If you’re still with him and not away badger spotting in America. I’d avoid Japan for a while. Don’t forget to pack your musical instrument (I can’t spell ha ha)!

I'm a Brown Owl and my husband doesnt get involved at all. I think he once delivered some stuff to our Brownie hall for a meeting when I was ill and he has occasionally picked up something from the shops when he was going there anyway. I would never ask him to help out with a trip or sleepover!

My goodness, he sounds deeply unpleasant OP.

You have your hands full there.

It reads like everything has to be his way or he becomes abusive bully.

Mind yourself OP.
I hope you have support IRL.

Is he always a controlling bastard when he doesn't get his own way or is it just related to the scouts? I cannot believe he slept in the spare room because he asked you a favour and you said no. Sounds like you are not allowed your own life

He’s actually a nice and kind person but get caught up with his emotion when its related to something he’s ridiculously love doing! He’s an amazing dad, always help out with the evening routines and much more calm and patient with the kid than me, I have hardly any! Don’t get me wrong, he can be a total arse sometimes and same for me , I can be a real grumpy bitch. Don’t worry, I don’t take shit from him most of the time. It just this one occasion, I really need to know have I actually been unreasonable for not helping him in this ‘crisis’. I am glad that most of you amazing people have said that l am not, it makes me feel better and not feel guilty like before. Love to you all xxx

His hobby
Not yours

My dp loves to fish, i dont, im allergic to seafood
I refuse to deal with his fishing stuff, he leaves it lying round, i box it and put it in the shed
I dont clean kitchen after he gutted and filleted, he has too
I dont rinse fishing rods, i dont put line on rods or tie hooks

Dp actually wanted dd to join scouts, i laughed and said so what, you will go on the overnight camp when they call for parent helpers? He said no, thats what you would do, i laughed, no dear, i wouldnt even sign dd up to it in the first place with such a high parent involvement wanted, also she like me is a glamper, not a camper.

You are most definitely not unreasonable.

Do not take back the admin!

If I were you, I would immediately initiate the admin of finding your own admin replacement.