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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I might be over scheduling my 8 year old?

121 replies

WhenYouveAFirstInEnglish · 24/02/2020 16:01

He does climbing on a Monday, nothing on Tuesday (but often has a play date), Wednesday school football (until 415), Thursday drama (until 415) then Cubs 645-815, Friday club football training, Saturday religion school from 945-1 and Sunday club football match.

He loves all the activities although football is the passion, never complains about going, and when left to his own devices gravitates towards the switch or TV if he can’t go outside to play football. He’s not great at entertaining himself without screens although I do schedule in unscheduled screen free time in the holidays if that makes sense!!

It’s all fine, it works for us but I can’t shake the feeling it’s a bit much. Cubs is the latest thing he’s asked to do and I’ve a feeling it just might tip over the edge into too much?

Thanks

OP posts:
RedSheep73 · 24/02/2020 16:04

Every one's different, and that would be way too much for me and my kids, but I'm sure he'll tell you when he's had enough of something. But when do you get time to do your thing? It can't all be about ferrying him about.

LizzieMacQueen · 24/02/2020 16:16

That's not too bad in terms of late nights. Have you got other kids? I'd worry more if they were being dragged along to every drop off and pick up TBH.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 24/02/2020 16:17

DD (also 8) has
Monday Zumba at school (until 4pm)
Tuesday Cubs
Wednesday nothing
Thursday Swimming
Friday nothing
Saturday Skiing (although this will switch to every other week from April, but DH has found climbing to fill the time)
Sunday nothing

It's just right for her. Cubs is brilliant by the way, they learn some great skills there. It does involve weekends though as well.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 24/02/2020 16:22

As long as he's happy ,he's fine.

I would be more concerned that he needs screens to entertain himself. If he didn't have access to them, he would find something else to do!

mummyof2boys30 · 24/02/2020 16:29

Ds7
Youth club Monday evening
Nothing tuesday
Nothing wedneaday
Youth club after school club thursday
Boys brigade Thursday evening
Swimming Saturday but just with parents

Franticbutterfly · 24/02/2020 16:33

That would be far too much for us (we are all homebodies), ours do no more than one weekday activity and one weekend activity.

Pollyputthepizzaon · 24/02/2020 16:35

Sounds fine to me and similar to us. You know yourself if he’s happy.

mumto2teenagers · 24/02/2020 16:35

It sounds okay to me as long as he enjoys them.

Porcupineinwaiting · 24/02/2020 16:36

Mine have always been (to my mind) totally over-scheduled. As a child I did nothing except swimming lessons. I would have been happy if mine did nothing but swimming lessons. Instead its piano/cornet practice/band/scouts/danxe/ theatre club. But they thrive on it - and it does make it easier to let them flop on the Playstation in their "free" freetime.

If it is working, I wouldn't worry about it.

MissConductUS · 24/02/2020 16:39

I think it's okay now but you may have to cut back as he gets older and the school work becomes more demanding.

thehorseandhisboy · 24/02/2020 16:45

If there isn't much travelling involved then it sounds fairly average for a lot of KS2 children tbh.

For some children this would be too much, for some not enough. If you son doesn't complain about going and enjoys it, then sounds like you've got a good balance tbh.

Original poster
WhenYouveAFirstInEnglish · 24/02/2020 16:46

@RedSheep73 that’s sweet thanks! Mondays can be a bit mad but tues, wed and thurs are fine - freej154 othall and drama are just a letter pick up from school, which is a sixty second walk. Cubs is a short walk to the hut. Fridays I share with another parent and weekend DH is around.

I do have a DS who is 4 (and I’ve already started with him! He does playball Monday afternoons and swimming....)

This is definitely something in me that compels me to sign them up for all this - DS1 asks to go and I NEVER think, ooh better not, he will get burnout.

OP posts:
Brevityisthesoulofwit · 24/02/2020 16:49

Are you me?!

I’m exactly the same. There are things I want DD to do (swimming for example) but whatever she want to do I figure it out somehow.

Latest thing is cross country 🤷🏻‍♀️

Main issue is scheduling homework and brownie badges in!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 24/02/2020 16:51

It seems like quite a lot, but its varied and if the dc is happy, then I would go with it. My DS had martial arts twice a week, and cadets twice a week, and that was it, but we both worked full time and DH worked funny shifts so it would have been very tricky to get more on the schedule. If it had worked for our family and DS had wanted to do something else, we would have happily agreed.

Rezie · 24/02/2020 16:53

A lot of times im worried about kids since they have so many activities (I'm a leader in activity club). But these end so early so it should be fine and if he seems happy then it's all good

Shopkinsdoll · 24/02/2020 17:54

My son 9
Monday bagpipes
Tuesday boys brigade
Wednesday nothing ,
Thursday bagpipes
Fri swimming lesson
Nothing weekend

AriadnesFilament · 24/02/2020 17:55

I think it’s too much

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 24/02/2020 17:58

Around here kids finish schools at 3pm! Shock
There's more than enough time to do one club a day after school.

If they were finishing at 5 or 6, it would get too much.

RiftGibbon · 24/02/2020 18:01

My DC aged 9
Monday -karate early evening
Tuesday - drama straight after school, youth club early evening
Weds -cookery club after school
Thursday - gymnastics after school
Friday - karate early evening, then swimming

We usually agree that if there is a club DC wants to go, there has to be the commitment for one term (however long s term is for the specific club). If after that it's no longer enjoyed, it can be dropped.

Squashpocket · 24/02/2020 18:01

My parents scheduled me into loads of after school and weekend activities until I was a teenager and could look after myself. I was fine with it at the time, but in hindsight I didn't end up spending much quality time with them as a child. In fact I think they were avoiding spending time with me.

mantarays · 24/02/2020 18:06

It would be too much for me.

Purplequalitystreet · 24/02/2020 18:06

My only concern is that there is no time left over for family days out. Do you still do those?

mantarays · 24/02/2020 18:08

Around here kids finish schools at 3pm! shock
There's more than enough time to do one club a day after school.

That’s still quite a long extension to every school day. When do they get to just relax at home?

HillAreas · 24/02/2020 18:10

It’s quite a lot but it won’t last forever. As he gets older he will realise he’s perhaps missing out on other things because of his schedule as well as increasing demands of schoolwork so may choose his favourite activities and drop the others in his own time.
A similar schedule is already taking its toll on my 8 year old DSD, although she’s home late from her weekday activities (after 8pm) so at least your DS has some wind down time. DSD keeps asking to do things when we have her and we have to say no because there just isn’t time with all her scheduled activities. She gets upset/disappointed but she chooses to continue the activities so she needs to attend 🤷‍♀️

Didiplanthis · 24/02/2020 18:13

My dd does far too much but dance has taken over and I don't know how to cut back as she competes now so has to train. Shes good at it and enjoys it but I'm struggling to fit it round other dc. I wish we hadnt started really .