To think I might be over scheduling my 8 year old?

[WhenYouveAFirstInEnglish]

He does climbing on a Monday, nothing on Tuesday (but often has a play date), Wednesday school football (until 415), Thursday drama (until 415) then Cubs 645-815, Friday club football training, Saturday religion school from 945-1 and Sunday club football match.

He loves all the activities although football is the passion, never complains about going, and when left to his own devices gravitates towards the switch or TV if he can’t go outside to play football. He’s not great at entertaining himself without screens although I do schedule in unscheduled screen free time in the holidays if that makes sense!!

It’s all fine, it works for us but I can’t shake the feeling it’s a bit much. Cubs is the latest thing he’s asked to do and I’ve a feeling it just might tip over the edge into too much?

Thanks

Sosososotired... 😆.... did you start out thinking it was 1/2 an hour ballet once a week as well ?

I think that’s a good point Sharky. DS will need to decide next year between running and swimming as he won’t be able to compete at Senior school level without upping his hours in his chosen sport - which means the other will need to go.

For now, he’s enjoying both and working out for himself which he prefers and wants to concentrate on. Or maybe he will want to do something completely different, which is also fine - provided it’s not girls and Fortnite

Personally I'm happy to prioritise my kids hobbies as at that age they are still determining what suits them and it is the perfect age to start/try out. As they get older they will focus on what really interests them. If I was to restrict my kids to say 1-2 things or even 3, they may lose out on that.
I can easily go back on hobbies I used to have as a child (badminton, table tennis, horse riding, judo etc), it's much easier than trying new hobbies.
I do judo myself so it's a family thing I suppose and i'd like to go back to horse riding at some point. I also take piano lessons too.

Edwinbear.. my DB thought that until my DN took up triathlon...

It’s better than being infront of a screen. The value in unscheduled time is in learning to entertain themselves, develop their imaginations etc. If he’s just going to watch tv and isn’t complaining or tired i would leave well enough alone.

Dd is 8 and has

Mon - mosaics after school until 4.20 and pony xlub badge training 5.30-6.30

Tuesday shooting - 6.30-7.30

Wed - nothing

Thursday - hockey after school until 4.20

Friday nothing

Sunday - park run or competing (tetrathlon)

In between this she has to ride her ponies and does the odd wed / fri / sat riding lessons but not a weekly thing.

She really needs swimming lessons for tetrathlon and to do more running but its hard to fit it in while still giving her days off!

I think it sets a weird precedent that they are the most important person in the house.

where on earth do you get that from?

Kids do clubs and sports, parents do hobbies and sport. What's the issue?

I do prioritise my children between 3pm and 8pm. Even with several activities each they still have lots of time to get bored.

I just have my fingers crossed they don't end up both getting really good at different things and I'm having to get them to opposite sides of town at the same time.

edwin
I'm a teacher and quite fed up with teaching worn out children. This thread explains a lot.
Where is homework/reading etc in all this?
I teach loads of kids that are good at sport but are barely literate.

DS1 (9) DS2 (6)
Mon: swimming lessons 30 mins out 3:30-7 due to poor class timings and travel. Casual swim in between.
Tues: DS2 football A/S, Beavers, DS1 Cubs
Wed: night in. Possibly A/S sports club for DS2 depending on what's on offer that term.
Thurs: DS1 STEAM Club A/S. They tend to get lugged out to my Brownies, but can skulk in a corner, join in or possibly be picked up early.
Fri: Karate
Sat: option to do 5k parkrun in the summer
Sun: 2k junior parkrun.

It makes a difference that school and many of the activities are within a 5 minute walk from home. They don't sleep before 9pm and always needed less sleep than average. They need to regularly burn energy and still seem to have plenty of time to vegetate in front of screens, and entertain themselves around tech curfews.

DS2 has more energy to burn than DS1 and is more enthusiastic about sports. DS1 favours some time to unwind and refresh between school and activities. The activities are fairly casual and uncompetitive and cover a broad range of skills, particularly for DS1 who has dyspraxia and ASD so finds scouting and individual sports valuable for social confidence, fitness and gross motor control.

Where is homework/reading etc in all this?
I teach loads of kids that are good at sport but are barely literate.

My kids finish school at 3pm . There's more than enough time for after school sport then quiet time at home. Primary school kids are far too young to be sitting all day studying. They do better if they have a break running around - or whatever sport they do.

I would be very worried if their only activity was reading books between 3:30 and 8pm...

My 8 yr OLd has just stopped beavers as he didn’t want to move up to cubs which has given us an evening back

Monday
Football training
Tuesday
Nothing (but at after school club up to 6pm)
Wednesday
Indoor Football training
Thursday
Nothing
Friday
Football training
Saturday
Nothing
Sunday
Football matches

He’s desperate to pick up cricket but the local clubs training clashes with football

He also wants to do guitar lessons

I think it sounds fine. If he’s happy I’d stick with it. My 7 year old does -
Monday nothing (we do homework)
Tuesday football training
Wednesday athletics (school club)
Thursday swimming lesson
Friday nothing
Saturday football match
Sunday rugby (either training or match)

Are you seriously lecturing a teacher about how much time kids should read just?
I see kids every day that are exhausted. This amount of activity is not needed and is a relatively new thing. I played sport at county level but it was not as full on as all this. Besides who does all the ferrying around? Don't people have jobs?

Sounds fine to me. I have always worked full time and managed to juggle so DC could try whatever activities they liked. When I was a child my parents were very unwilling to facilitate clubs... and there was only so much hanging about the park getting bored that a child can do. I think its much better now children are more supervised and can do activities where they challenge themselves but in a safe environment.

@Mrskeats well he’s just passed his entrance exam for Senior school where it was 413 kids sat for 130 places so he’s not suffering academically either.

Wow some kids are so busy! I think it depends if the activity is instead of wraparound childcare.

Dd is 8

Monday, Tues, Wed childcare til 5.30

Thursday I pick her up from school at 3.20. She used to have choir and brownies but dropped both. She just wants to go home

Friday - I do school pick up and we take her little sister to dance

Sat - swimming am

She does piano lessons at school though, so swimming and piano, that's all. And it's still a struggle to get reading and small amount of homework done!

We still have plenty of time for reading.

Fortunately the DC's school is relatively sensible about homework quantity. DS1 gets far more out of an hour of Karate than an hour of bickering and cajoling to to a "20 minute" homework task based on the assumption that he was neurotypical without multiple SpLDs. Thank goodness he doesn't go to a school that favours homework more strongly and sets work more appropriate to y8 than y4 which only consolidates privilage anyway.

He's just had a year off PE lessons as they were sacrificed to fit in the 30 minute school swimming lessons, so it's pretty important that he's done more than 30 minutes of physical activity per week, in the last year particularly with his development issues. Without regular activities froma young age, he'd have much more difficulty with gross motor control than he does, and school would never have taught him to swim in one year.

School is very valuable, but it's not a complete education.

DS age 10
Monday - nothing (at childminder till 6pm)
Tuesday - football training 6-7pm
Wednesday - childminder till 4.50pm then drum lesson from 5 - 5.30
Thursday - nothing (at childminder till 6pm)
Friday - nothing
Saturday - usually a football match
Sunday - nothing

This is perfect for us. I work full time and am a single parent.
Because schools so little sport and music now I think we want our children to have these opportunities if possible.

He did try Scouts but didn't take to it. I was disappointed because I think it's great but also a bit relieved because of the weekend activities he would have missed due to football (his absolute passion).

I think having things both weekend days tips it into too much

That would be way too much for me. My friend is running herself ragged as she feels like her kids might be missing out and if x person is doing dancing, her kids need to it, even if that means 2 lots of dance in one evening, so straight from work collecting kids, dropping off, late home etc. I think kids need to know they can’t have and do everything. Up to the parent though

I’d stop thinking about his schedule and start thinking about why you’re not confident enough to not be asking!
It’s too much for one child, easily could add more for another, but a third child it’s just right. You’re the only one on this thread who knows your child and how he’s getting on with it.

Looking at your schedule again, for me, Wed and Thu wouldn’t even register as “doing something”. After school activity until 16:15? At that age, mine - like countless others - were in after school club until 18:00.

Personally I think it's too much.

He's having all decisions made for him on how he spends his time and what he does during these activities. When does he get to exercise his own decision making and problem solving and making things happen by himself?

He can't have much time in free play either which is important socially.

And it doesn't sound like you get much family time either.

All of the above are more important than doing loads of activities IMO.

I was a heavily scheduled child (out of choice, I enjoyed them) and as an adult I struggle to make decisions and have poor intrinsic motivation, and don't have a particularly close relationship with my parents. I barely remember spending much time with them past age 10.

I think generally we also struggle as a society to just "be" in the present moment, hence the obsession with mindfulness, meditation apps and yoga trying to claw some of this back. And I think our over scheduling habits make this harder, for both parents and children.

I would really question why you are so keen to encourage this.

My DD 6
Monday - 3.45-4.30 singing (ready for a dance show) this is only late feb - Late June
Tuesday - modern dance 4.45-5.15 (sometimes an extra hour if getting ready for the dance show)
Wednesday- rainbows 4-5
Thursday - Ballet 4.15-4.45
Friday (finish school at 2.15) swimming 6.30-7

Some weeks it feels a lot as I work shifts full time and DH is full.time too but we usual manage ok and it's all very local which is lucky as I dont drive. The only thing I insist upon is swimming the rest is DD. She has lots of time at weekends and before school/after school for free play and downtime.