My Boyfriend wants a baby and I don't.

[burlesquexo]

Long story but
Basically I had a baby 4 years ago with my ex partner wasn't an amazing relationship I was Young 19 and it was abusive.
I at the time didn't want a baby but I went through with it with pride and do my very best at 24. I now am with a new guy he's lovely and sweet I'm always very careful as I don't want to have another baby but I'm his mind he really wants one. Well I'm currently 5 days late on my period and all negative tests he has all of a sudden become happy thinking I could be I've made it clear no I don't want one and he's now become moody with me and said it hurts because you can have a baby with your ex but not me?
Am I being spiteful by saying no or is he being unreasonable? Thanks 😊

at the time didn't want a baby but I went through with it with pride and do my very best at 24.

So what will you do this time, if you are PG again and don't want to be? Because in my experience people who genuinely don't want to be PG don't have the baby. Unless they didn't find out until really late.

How are your:
Finances
Housing
Jobs
Long term plans

Baby should be waaay down your list.

He sounds like a bloody child.

sounds like he wants you to produce a baby to prove something about himself compared to your ex. That is not a basis to procreate. Thats the beginnings of a possessive and jealous behaviour.

I don't think he necessarily sounds abusive (that word can be overused on here) but he is certainly being an idiot. He is entitled to want a baby and to say so but not to pressure you or sulk about it. You said contraception and tracking app, I think the apps are notoriously unreliable so I hope you are using a method that is entirely in your control and not something he can sabotage.

"He is entitled to want a baby"

Not after 12 months he isn't. It's not a bloody cat!

OP, you know exactly how hard it is to have a child young.

You sound very sensible.

He sounds like a petulant twat, who wants a toy 'cos someone else had one.

It is NOT your job to produce a baby to make him feel better about his manhood.

Screw that. And he's now moody because he's not getting what he wants.

Sounds to me like he is showing you EXACTLY who he is.

Run for the hills.

Did he offer marriage BEFORE baby ... ?

Why would any woman without independent income throughout pregnancy and mat leave be prepared to do this without it ?

If he is really that keen on a future he would propose ... and in time babies would come when you are ready..

Suggest that and watch him run for the hills...

"He is entitled to want a baby"

No he's not!

Nobody is "entitled" to a baby.

He doesn't posses a uterus so he doesn't get a choice. His problem and not yours - stick to your guns.

He’s entitled to want a baby.

That’s not the same thing as entitled to have a baby.

I didn't say he is entitled to have a baby. I said he is entitled to tell his partner he wants a baby. Just as she is entitled to say no. His feelings are valid, his actions aren't.

Thank you, but I finally came on my period today, Woohoo! I also had a massive talk with him again about it all and the way he was acting and he was really apologetic and said that I was right (I mean I knew that anyway 😂) and he's left me alone now lol

he's now become moody with me and said it hurts because you can have a baby with your ex but not me?

DO NOT HAVE A BABY WITH THIS SULKING MANCHILD.
A baby is not a packet of sweets to be handed out, not a salve to cure hurt feelings, & not a device for a man to use in order to compete with other men.

The fact that you feel the need to ask whether you are being "spiteful" to him simply for not wishing to procreate is worrying OP.
Does he have form for believing his wishes outweigh yours?
How often does his display "moodiness"?

He just feels insecure and threatened by my child's dad as it seems.
Oh, ditch the twat.
He shouldn't even be allowed a puppy.
It's not all about him.

That’s a relief. You need to take his behaviour more seriously though.

He doesn't want a baby.

He wants to get your pregnant - pissing over his territory and all that.

Ok, he's apologised, but don't forget this. In fact - have a real good think about whether you want him in your life. A man too immature not to feel 'threatened' about the fact that your child has a dad is really not ideal stepfather material.

It doesn't matter if he 'holds it in' or ides it - if he feels negatively towards your child's dad simply for existing, then that isn't good for your child to grow up with. It WILL affect them. Secondly, that flash of how he really feels tells you so much - that he's pretty misogynist, he sees you as 'his' and that things you do somehow 'reflect' on him... even massive life decisions like having a child. All bad bad bad news.

Don't ever have a child with this guy.
Keep him at arm's length.
Have a think about whether he's what your child deserves.

“My Boyfriend wants a baby and I don't”

The end. No need to explain. That’s the end of it and he needs to appreciate that. If he wants a baby more than he wants a relationship with you then he needs to think things through but none of that is your problem. Don’t want a baby? No one should force your hand.

As long as you've always made it clear to him that you don't want another baby then I don't think you're being unreasonable. It's your body and your choice

Tbf maa1992 it should be pretty clear anyway if they've only been together 12 months.