To think you get less sociable as you get older?

[littleblackdress04]

Or is it just me?! I am 46 and find that I much prefer to be at home reading rather than going out. And that these days I prefer daytime socialising to nighttime! I reckon I see a friend about once a week in various contexts- might be going for a run with a friend, a coffee, sometimes early evening tea in the pub etc, catching up at a kids swimming lesson etc. I don’t go out drinking like I used to, partly because I love my bed and like to be home by 10 - I would such a granny!!
I just like my own company more these days and with the combination of full time work and kids, also like being at home!

Aibu? Anyone else like this or am I just getting old? Sometimes I see people on social media still out at night clubs and it’s terrifying 👵🏻

I am 43 nearly and I think this age is awesome but knackering.

We often still have kids to look after, our parents are starting to need us a bit more (mine have both had periods of being really ill recently) they don't have partners and I live nearest! Working full time too etc etc its just exhausting. This time of year I'm a fan of just being at home.

I go out more in the summer but I think life is just so full on these days if I get time I want to relax at home! You're not alone.

Yep, I’m the same. I’m 43, mother of 3, been a parent since I was 16 and I was always looking forward to a time when I could go out without a babysitter, or just go for a drink after work. That time has arrived, kids 15 (nearly 16) and 12, so can stay home alone in the evening if need be. Only now I can’t be bothered, love going to bed early to watch TV. Can’t think of anything worse than going to a nightclub

I'm the same but 31 🤣 started moving towards hermit life late 20s

@Monstermissy36 it’s reassuring that it’s not just me. You are right about the time of year too- I think I am more sociable in the summer for sure

No. I’m more sociable in my fifties as no worries about the children and more money. My husband is probably less sociable though.

@Cherry I wonder if I will become more sociable again once the kids are older- I have friends whose kids have left home and are back partying again and going to gigs etc!

Yanbu. I look back on the years, pre-children, when I was out all the time and barely recognise myself. Nowadays I'm happy to go out a couple of times a month!

Early 30’s and full on hermit mode activated 😂

i found my early 30’s sociable as it was very easy to make friends when my DC we’re young at toddler groups etc. Then things slowed down a bit between mid 30’s and mid 40’s as life was so busy and it’s easy to get in a bit of a rut. Then from mid 40’s onwards (I’m 51 now) I’ve been very sociable. I like to meet up with other couples at the weekend or have them over. I do at least one social thing with one of my friends every week such as a meal, shopping, cinema.
I also spend a lot of my time just with my DH and also enjoy my own company.
For me things definitely picked up when my DC became mid teens/young adults.

I’m 50 and my DC are 29 & 30, so plenty old enough to be left alone but I am definitely less sociable than I was. Tbh though a part of that is the fact I’m a smoker. I think why go out for coffee when I have a nice coffee machine at home and can have a cigarette with my coffee. Or why spend £7 on a glass of wine in a pub, when I can buy a bottle for that and drink at home and not have to stand in the wind and rain to smoke. So I can’t lie and say it’s not a factor. I am also less tolerant of people though. I can’t really be doing with small talk anymore, it bores me.

@Lippy1234 I think my issue might also be that I am way more sociable generally than my partner so I tend to just do stuff on my own with friends. I think I still do stuff once a week for sure- just not really as a couple which could become an issue going forward!

I'm 46, 3 kids and definitely like to be home in my bed by 12mn at the latest on a night out . In my 20's I was out 4 or 5 nights a weeks, having a ball, but I think it's all phases .
My mother, who's is nearly 70, goes out a lot and stays later than I would. I'm wondering will it go full cycle, and by the time my kids are all grown up, will I get my social life back again and actually enjoy it ?

I'm happier with a take away and a bottle of wine than I am on a night out, now I know that sounds sad !

Saw this in a gift shop yesterday...

‘When I was young I used to sneak out of bed to go to parties ..

Now, I sneak out of parties to go to bed...’

This is how I feel.

I never was. As an older mum in the playground, I faked approachability and friendliness. It was easier that way and being older, I didn't set much store by any reactions. Made a couple of friends that way of the same disposition.

I've always been introverted. When I was younger, I succumbed to peer/ societal pressure to go out clubbing and drinking but I didn't really enjoy it much. As I got older, i think i just found the strength of character to be who I am and to think that being introverted and not liking going out is OK!!!
I 'm 53 now. I like and need my friends. I like coffees and lunches but not going out out!
I do like soup though.... I think that is a real indicator of ageing!!!

Also in gift shop,

‘ I was born to be wild....

....as long as it’s not after 9.00pm...’

So me.

I’m mid 30s and much prefer staying in! I think it’s because I’ve got a nice house and garden now rather than a cramped student flat, so I can roam around without feeling shut in!

Also I find going out with my 5 yr old exhausting as she takes so long to get ready, tantrums, fussing etc so I prefer staying in. We go out more in summer when there’s less coats, gloves,scarves, hats etc to carry.

I’m in bed by 9pm most nights as I have to get up at 5am to get ready for work and nursery, and we’re still in that routine by the weekend!

Me too I'm early 40s , my and dh went to the pub last night for the first time this year . A drunk was talking to me and it wasn't particularly enjoyable so we had a couple of drinks then went home . I can have a drink at home in my pjs . I admit it's nice to do my hair put a bit of make up on and put something nice on but that's it unless it's a occasion or meeting up with a friend not really keen on going out .

littleblackdress04 Is it an issue though if you enjoy each other’s company? I found as my DC got older my DH has to make a bit of an effort to find stuff we had in common out of the house. He was really into walking so I made an effort to join him on walks and now love it. I really like the cinema so he goes with me nearly every week.

@lippy1234 that’s a good idea actually- he’s not comfortable in groups really so maybe we just need a shared hobby!

Same age as you here. I'm more or less the same.

I do like going out for a meal but no later than 8 (prefer earlier) so I'm back by 10ish and if someone suggests the pub for a drink I come out in hives!!

I go to the occasional gig and am always overjoyed when they're on an early curfew! I don't like standing at said gig anymore and will always book seats if I can even though it's loud ROCK

The early finish isn't so I can go to bed though it's so I can chill at home in peace as DC and DH are in bed and it's bliss.

I think it is getting older but I don't mind that. In my early 20s I was down the pub most nights (nursing a soft drink usually) with various friends but they're all the same as me now!

I like the sound of that gift shop mentioned above

This thread makes me feel better, I ws wondering if there's something wrong with me last night, I love staying in, but I realise I'm not alone. My kids are grown up but we're still skint so money worries are still there and it doesn't look like they will ever go. A night out is so expensive when we can cook at home, have what you want to drink and be comfortable and relax. We went out after work last week, for something to eat, and it was pretty poor. We could have made much better at home for 1/4 the cost. So why bother? Unless you go somewhere more upmarket and pay through the nose, basic pub grub here isn't great, or the many chains, eg prezzo etc.

I'm 42 and no kids, also moving towards going out for lunch rather than evening drinks and not doing anything at all during the week except going to work. I don't think it's to do with being less sociable, just having less energy and needing more time to recuperate from a week at work.

I’m 47 next month and you have just described me virtually word for word. I see friends in the day too. I love nothing more than getting to the end of the day and getting in my pj’s. Whilst I love seeing friends and family I dread it if I get an evening invite. I work part time and have quite a bit of time to myself in the day, I love the peace and quiet of it, just me and my dog (before all he’ll breaks loose in the evening when dh and kids return!) I also love nothing more than pottering around a garden centre and having lunch, God! I’m getting old 😆