Gave someone DH's phone number and he lost it!

[Nightterrrror]

DSS's mum has a history of mental health and has put herself and DSS in dangerous situations. Still has custody, shared with DH. She cycles and has periods of stability and instability.
Last night out of the blue I get a FB message from her sister asking for DH's number to have a chat or arrange for us to meet because she is concerned. I'm immediately sent both our numbers saying of course call anytime. Then went off to tell DH. He went nuts saying I was interfering and shouldn't have given out his details (or mine) AIBU? Was this wrong, I was just worried for DSS!

I recently had DP give my mobile number to some unknown person who phoned the landline chasing me for a non-exsistent bill. I went ballistic. Although my situation somewhat different ( a known scam routine), I would never give out someone else’s number, a critical privacy issue. I do not think FB is a particularly secure communication platform.

I applaud you for being kind and caring.

Maybe it would have been best to consult with your DH first but you gave out your numbers without malice and you don’t need to be verbally attacked for that.

They do say “no good deed goes unpunished “

YABU, it's not ok to give out people's numbers.

Even giving yours is not ok in a way, as stuff about his ex/your stepchild is not yours to chat about in the same way as it is for your DH, his father.

Most people don't post their contact details online, they're confidential so no wrong'uns find their number and phone up.

The thing that people are forgetting is that her dh knows these people. He has dealt with them for a lot longer than OP.

If the sister in law needed to call because it was an emergency and was able to fb messenger the OP, she could also ring her on messenger. Without ogiscally having their numbers. Or asked for OP to get him to call her on messenger.

Op was given the impression it was an emergency, and yet it wasnt. The sister in law misled her. It looks like the dh is right. He doesnt want them having their number.

They can contact him in an emergency. On messenger.

You should have asked. I dont give my personal number out to anyone unless i know them

Jesus, she’s not at work and DH isn’t her manager!

So its his wife that gets to decide how much or how little privacy he is allowed? It's his wife that decides what's an appropriate level of contact between him and his ex in laws?

I can't believe you have your own personal number on your works website. If any workplace wanted to advertise my contact details, they'd be supplying me with a work number/phone.

I don't think you did anything wrong, you cooperated to ensure your DSS welfare and your DH should realise that. Better you give out the number and possibly avert a disaster than worry that it gets passed on for other purposes. Ultimately numbers can be changed but when a child is in danger and something goes wrong, we all say why didn't somebody do something? - so you did something.

Basic manners you don't give out other peoples numbers, esp where there could be history, issues. As much as you say your number is available online, i would assume you have a second private number for family and friends, and would only answer your work number during working hours.

Ultimately numbers can be changed but when a child is in danger and something goes wrong, we all say why didn't somebody do something? - so you did something.

Again if you can message on FB messenger you can call someone through there.

If it was an emergency, she could have called op on there. Or said 'can I call you? It's about nephew'

No need to have her of the DHS number.

And it wasnt an emergency. Op was led to believe that, or interpreted it that way. But nowhere does OP say it actually turned out to be an emergency.