Gave someone DH's phone number and he lost it!

[Nightterrrror]

DSS's mum has a history of mental health and has put herself and DSS in dangerous situations. Still has custody, shared with DH. She cycles and has periods of stability and instability.
Last night out of the blue I get a FB message from her sister asking for DH's number to have a chat or arrange for us to meet because she is concerned. I'm immediately sent both our numbers saying of course call anytime. Then went off to tell DH. He went nuts saying I was interfering and shouldn't have given out his details (or mine) AIBU? Was this wrong, I was just worried for DSS!

I would have handed the numbers out in those circumstances. He's overreacting.

The Dear is not so dear, and though they might look civil you do not have the whole picture. Be prepared.

So he’s created a massive argument but hasn’t explained his reasons behind his reaction. Hibu. As he has not articulated why it wasn’t ok, I can understand why you are now pissed off. I would probably have done the same as you not thinking anything of it. If there is a real reason, he should have given you a heads up about his son’s aunty.

@Nightterrrror My number is all over the internet and not hard to find. That's why I find it strange that anyone is bothered.

really? You can't see why people would not want their number public on the internet? There are a whole host of reasons.

I'm not surprised he's angry.

Just because you're happy to have your number plastered all over the internet doesn't mean everyone else is!

you should have referred the matter to him immediately, not taken unilateral action in disclosing his details without his consent.

Jesus, she’s not at work and DH isn’t her manager!

I think your DH is being totally unreasonable. You reaction was based on your concern for HIS child. I would have done exactly the same thing. If there’s something here you don’t understand that’s on him for not explaining it.

Nope, you shouldn't have given out his number. This issue involves his son, not yours. I'd be peed off, as well. But, you seem so blasé about the security of your own personal information, so perhaps that extends to others'?

It was a mistake and you've apologised. Hopefully there's no harm done and the ex SIL has good intentions. It was an instinctive reaction on your part and hopefully your DH will realise quickly that it came from good intentions.

Your DH is an arse and massively over reacting...this is about his son ffs!

I agree that you absolutely shouldn't have given his number to her. It was a niave thing to do under the circumstances. A much more sensible response would have been to take her number and say you'd get your DH to call her. However, something like this should not result in a massive fight between a couple. I find that outcome much more concerning than the original act. In a relationship, partners will often do things that the other disagrees with but we should still treat each other with love and respect.

Only time will tell is any harm has been done.

I would also have been very annoyed in this situation, it's my choice who I give my mobile number to and I wouldn't be happy with ex-relatives having it. It's up to each individual how much they share.

I probably would have done the same thing thinging only of the child's welfare. My husband also might have been a bit annoyed. But we would both get each others perspective and calm down after a few minutes.

I guess there probably is an issue with the child or she wouldn't have asked. So hopefully when he speaks with her he will realise that you did the right thing. Maybe they are concerned for his son's welfare and think Dad needs to have him full time.

This is about a childs welfare but to be honest if he has allowed someone with mental health issues to keep custody of his son despite putting him in dangerous circumstances I'm not surprised he is more bothered about people having his number than his own child 🤷‍♀️

Modern phones are simple crank call block button done

And with the number being all over the internet I'm assuming OP needs to be contacted for her buisness

Losing it, going nuts and huge fight seems a bit of an overreaction since you've seen him be civil and friendly with them. Did he give a reason? Is he is expecting them to do something innapropriate?

I do think you should always ask before handing out anybody's number. But I can also understand why you have it since it wasn't someone random and they had a reason to need it.

But this is about his sons safety ffs not a random stranger. OP YANBU!

Because of the situation, no you weren't unreasonable. However I'd be seriously annoyed if my dh gave someone my number without checking I'm OK for him to do so first.

He’s probably been in a position where her family have bombarded him before. It’s done now. If he continues to be annoyed at it tell
Him to change his number.

But its to do with his son? The aunt is looking out for them both (mother and child)? Does the husband not care to know should anything happen? Is he scared of a few phone calls messing up his day? Does he know he can block numbers if it all gets abit too much for him??? So many questions. I think you did the right thing OP.

I think some of you have not experienced toxic ex families. Especially when someone has an axe to grind..

Did you not think It strange that someone so closely related to his child did not have it already? I would have been very annoyed that my number was given out.

YABU. You shouldn't have given his number out without asking him first.

I never casually give out anyone's number - including DH's.

I say "let me have your number and I'll ask them to ring you."

Then they can choose whether or not to withhold their number (and whether or not to ring)

I ran into my uncle in town and he asked me for my cousin (his daughter)'s phone number. I just lied and said I didn't have it and let her know. They have a complicated relationship and I think she is NC with him now. It's not my place to get involved.

YABU.

She sent you a message so you weren't put on the spot, you had time to speak to your dh. I am a very private person so would be annoyed if my number was given out without my permission, even if it was given to my own brother. There must be a reason why she doesn't have your dh's number.

I think you made a mistake but did it for all the right reasons and many people wouldn’t have been annoyed. So he is not bu to be annoyed but he is unreasonable to not forgive you quickly.

I think most people’s reaction would be I’m sorry to hear of your concerns. What’s your number? I’ll ask DH to contact you

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