AIBU or is he?

[MarmiteRocks]

A bit of background.

I have 2 kids (10 and 8). DP and his dog live with us. Kids spent the first half of half term with their dad and are with us from Wed to Sun.

This morning, he took the dog out for a walk with a friend (he was supposed to go at 11 but changed it at the last minute to 9.45), so I took the DC swimming. We got home at about 1, all had lunch, and then I took DS2 to a friend's for a playdate. DS1 stayed at home with DP. I was an hour dropping off DS2, and when I got back DS1 and I played together whilst DP had a sleep. DP gets up, has dinner with DS1 whilst I go and collect DS2. I have my dinner when I get back and tidy the kitchen whilst he and the kids play on the X Box, and I pop upstairs to do some stuff on my computer.

I have been upstairs for about 5 minutes before he comes up and says "I demand you come here for a hug". I told him I was in the middle of doing something. He said "can't you make time for me?" to which I replied I could but not at that moment. He went off downstairs. After about 15 minutes I went and found him and asked him if he still wanted the hug, but he said no. He has now taken the dog out again.

AIBU to spend 5 minutes to myself?

It's the first 5 minutes I've had to myself all day (other than driving to and from DS2's playdate which is 10 mins each way). I feel like I give all the time and am allowed to have a few minutes to myself.

I can see that he just wanted to connect with me but he's in a piss now and I don't know if I am BU or not?

I actually get this OP entirely but a lot of people who are more tactile or extrovert simply won't understand.

From the moment I open my eyes to the minute I close them it can feel like someone somewhere constantly wants something from me.

My DP is fantastic and does more than his fair share but when we first got into family life , he hadn't realised how much I need the odd 5 minutes. That five minutes or half an hour to me is what allows me to keep going. Just a moment with noone sat on me or asking me for something or no work to do. When we first moved in together he would come and see me in the bedroom (my room of choice for escape) and talk to me. I found myself increasingly short with him when he did that and he in turn got hurt.

Eventually it came out when we were talking one evening and I explained how much I needed that moment of quiet , and he finally understood, it wasnt about him , I am naturally a massive introvert although I've trained myself to be able to operate differently but it can be exhausting .

He now to be fair even protects that time, will deliberately distract the DC if he knows that's what I'm doing.

However initially the worst thing he would do would be to try to hug or kiss me, I didn't love him any less or want to be affectionate any less but just not right at that moment. He entirely gets it now. I'd sit him down and talk to him and explain it's not personal its recharge time.

I am a bit shocked at pp who winged " awww give him a hug it costs nothing) firstly noone should have to have any physical contact they dont choose, that's a massive boundary that if you think should be belittled there is something really worrying about that. More importantly you as posters might be fine with it , but why do you assume your perspective is the only one ? People experience touch very differently , everyone chooses for themselves