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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I that unusual?

420 replies

Greysparkles · 22/02/2020 18:26

To have never had a passport and never travelled to another country?

Was talking about holidays with friends recently, and got talking about airports etc and i mentioned I'd no idea what they were on about as I've never flown.
Well the looks I got! Like I'd grown an extra head!
Is it that unusual?! Am I the only one?! Grin

OP posts:
sonjadog · 22/02/2020 21:35

I don´t think I know anyone who hasn't been abroad. I can't imagine what it would be like to never have been in a place where the language being spoken around me wasn't English. I am glad that I have had that experience many times. But I wouldn't judge anyone who hadn't been abroad. I am entirely indifferent to what other people choose to do with their holidays.

TrickyKid · 22/02/2020 21:37

I've not had a passport for about 16yrs. Probably fairy unusual not to go abroad but no biggie.

theSnuffster · 22/02/2020 21:39

I'm in my early 30s and got my first passport last year when we went to Majorca. I had been to Spain on a school coach trip but that was back when you could be put on a group passport. We're definitely in the minority!

ohnooutofdateham · 22/02/2020 21:42

You can get across to France so cheaply and in 7 hours drive be at some of the best beaches on the planet

I think that depends on your starting location 😂

ThatFriendsReunion · 22/02/2020 21:47

When you see the flurry of passport application forms that teachers are asked to sign in Year 1, because kids passports are only valid for 5 years, around here it is very unusual not to have a passport. And a lot of children clearly have them from birth!

InglouriousBasterd · 22/02/2020 21:50

Surely it’s not really about ‘not needing a holiday’ but exploring new and completely different places? Confused Expanding your horizons?

EC22 · 22/02/2020 21:54

I was 26 before I went abroad.
I grew up poor and had children young. I don’t know anyone now who hasn’t been abroad.

RoseMartha · 22/02/2020 22:02

I don't currently have a passport. I have been abroad in the past but no real urge to go at this point in my life. Maybe I will at a later date who knows.

Witchofzog · 22/02/2020 22:22

I didn't go abroad aside from a school trip until I was 30 as I was totally skint. Now I t have the travel bug and it is my mission to visit at least 1 new country a year until I die. I have managed this for the last 12 years.

To answer some points raised previously. I do think there is a little bit of truth in travelling being more possible if you have a good family. Not from being bankrolled though. I always wanted to go to America and Australia when I was younger but I was estranged from my toxic family and would not have been able to afford to store my furniture for long periods and I had nowhere to come back to. All my friends who managed this had lovely families who kept their bedroom available until they returned. I would have had to literally start again if I had attempted this.

I also need to say that I adore the UK too. Especially Pembrokeshire and the Llyn Peninsula in Wales. If I could guarantee good weather I would go there every year alongside visiting other countries. It's not a one or the other situation. It is possible to love the UK AND abroad.

PumpkinP · 22/02/2020 22:30

Very unusual I think, my sister goes on holiday 4/5 times a year. I haven’t been away for 10 years and feel odd! However finally got a holiday this year coming up.

thepeopleversuswork · 22/02/2020 22:38

I can understand finding travel stressful - airports are hell and flying can be unpleasant.

But I would see that as the cost of doing business really and it’s no worse than a long coach journey.

I think not having any interest at all in seeing the world beyond the borders of your own country points to a certain lack of curiosity and I would wonder if perhaps the person had been biased by bigoted views their parents may have had or something like that.

I mean it’s one thing to curb your flying for environmental reasons or to not want to do long haul too often. But to literally not have any interest in learning about what other countries are like would make me raise an eyebrow. Nowadays it’s not really a cost issue. Why would you not just push yourself to do it once just to see?

Skyejuly · 22/02/2020 22:39

I'm 32 and got my first passport 3 mths ago and went to rome!

Original poster
Greysparkles · 22/02/2020 22:43

Now I'm a bigot as well GrinGrin

You do know it's possible to learn about and be interested in other countries/cultures without travelling right??

Apparently that makes me a fucking bigot.
Jesus

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 22/02/2020 22:46

MiL - 75, too poor growing up, not interested in travelling as she got older. Went to Denmark by ferry with FiL, DH and BiL once when DH and BiL were children, to accompany FiL to a conference. They also went to Legoland. This was about 1985. She’s never been aboard since. Not bothered. FiL has travelled extensively for work and as a huge cricket fan.

CJsGoldfish · 22/02/2020 22:51

This was me. I didn't travel, settled down instead. Then got caught up raising my children alone and couldn't afford it.

I long ago decided I wanted to instill a desire in my children to spread their wings, see the world, enjoy life a little before settling down. Wanted more for them than I chose.
I love that they travel. They've seen far more of the world than I have though I am now doing my best to 'catch up' and they encourage me all the way Grin

So yeah, unusual. I knew, when it was me, that it was unusual.

Bluntness100 · 22/02/2020 22:51

I’m guessing this thread didn’t go the way the op wanted.

Op did you think loads of people would respond and say, god, no, me too, I’ve also never left the country, and not a load of people saying yeah that’s really unusual? Hmm

thepeopleversuswork · 22/02/2020 22:52

I didn’t say you were a bigot: I wondered if you had grown up in an era (as I did) when it wasn’t uncommon to hear people express a view that it’s not worth going abroad because everything is better here. I had friends whose parents expressed views like this and I wondered if it had rubbed off a bit.

I am not going to lie: I do think having no interest at all in ever wanting to leave the UK suggests a lack of intellectual curiosity.

If you had serious money difficulties, a disabled child or a major phobia of flying it would be different but it just sounds like you can’t really be arsed. I do find that quite limiting.

tiggerkid · 22/02/2020 22:53

While it may seem unusual to people, who travel regularly, everyone has their reasons for not doing something. And everyone is unusual in one way or another to someone else.

anotherlittlechicken · 22/02/2020 22:56

@Greysparkles You're not a bigot!!! Smile

But maybe think about giving it a go. Get a passport and maybe start someone close and easy......... A coach trip to Ostend. Dead cheap and close. And you could get cheap booze and perfume! Grin

anotherlittlechicken · 22/02/2020 22:57

@Greysparkles I mean,if you WANT to! Smile

Original poster
Greysparkles · 22/02/2020 23:10

Op did you think loads of people would respond and say, god, no, me too, I’ve also never left the country, and not a load of people saying yeah that’s really unusual? hmm

I posted to get opinions, and to genuinely see if I was such a rare breed.
So I'm not getting that the thread didn't go the way I wanted? I had no pre conceived notion of a way I wanted it to go. It was a question, and your snarky presence isn't really needed on this thread. I'm not sure what your goal is @Bluntness100
I usually like your posting and have noticed you on alot of threads.

What I didn't expect was for people to call me a bigot, lacking intellectual curiosity and wierd. All because I don't do what they do.

Ive not ridiculed anybody for how they choose their life/travel on this thread, so I don't see the need to be so callous in reply to me, I'm an actual person behind the screen.

OP posts:
eaglejulesk · 22/02/2020 23:16

International travel isn't for everyone. Even though I could afford to, I'd generally rather not. There's nothing wrong with not having an interest in travel, and not travelling doesn't mean you're some sort of close-minded xenophobe.

I agree. I don't live in the UK, but although I have a passport (for ID reasons) I've never been out of the country, and it doesn't bother me at all. I know several people who have travelled a lot, but I still seem to know more about the world than they do. Not wanting to travel is nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't be considered odd. Some people have other priorities and that's fine.

eaglejulesk · 22/02/2020 23:23

I do think having no interest at all in ever wanting to leave the UK suggests a lack of intellectual curiosity.

What a load of rubbish!! It seems to me many people who travel do so to lie in the sun, buy cheap booze, get drunk etc - is that classed as "intellectual curiosity" these days? You can be intellectually curious from the comfort of your own home.

I'm sorry you have had to endure so many ridiculous comments OP - please take no notice of them Flowers

Zhuleva · 22/02/2020 23:36

I remember years ago being asked to go to Spain on a trip for work. I'd never flown before so asked what you do when you go to the airport. The derisive laughter was deafening! It may be unusual in some groups but absolutely nothing to be ashamed of

EdgeWithNoReason · 22/02/2020 23:40

I don't own a passport. I'm terrified of flying. Went to France and Spain as a kid.

No lack of funds or intelligence Confused

Been very fortunate to been able to ensure DC have travelled very well - Australia, India, USA, Russia, Costa Rica, Jamaica among others.

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